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Open Poetry #12
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The Road Trip
| Open Poetry #12 |
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The Road Trip |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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I was thinking the other day, if I was to go on a road trip I would plan ahead, wouldn't I? I mean that's how normal people do things, don't they? …what was that? I yell and swerve just barely missing the third obstacle of the day, and I look back and realize there are pieces strung out over miles from all the roadblocks I failed to see and I don't understand this road I am on, it makes no sense with its barriers leading in to twists and turns followed by long narrow straight-aways and I think I must be dreaming cause only a dreamer or insanity would make someone try a mountain as big as this one and I sort of remember getting out to push when I lost my thrust but I have to rely on my friends to recount how I eventually gave up put my head in my hands and cried And if my friends are witness then I must really be here but why would I choose a path with no reason and a vehicle with no control? Today I rounded a turn and hit a breaking point I think it was somewhere around one hundred and twenty five but it felt quite good I will have you know I was ready to reach the end and I thought a little faster and I could touch the sky a little faster and I could fly I stretched forward, wishing when suddenly someone downshifted my rphm's once again hugging the road and I shook my head in disbelief I looked down and it was my fingers curved over the gear shift I was amazed to see that it was me behind the wheel The solution to my problems is so simple, how had I not seen it before? This power that sunup to sundown runs my course …is me |
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| © Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Oh yeah............encouragement found at home in your own lil heart. What do ya know?? Wonderful use of metaphors in this one and I loved the read and all the shifting gears and your sound effects are pretty cool too. I only can do the brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm!!!(as he spits at his hostess unintentionally)  BTW.......6'2 1/2" without the hat. LOL and thank you for the stature and talent.  [This message has been edited by Mark Bohannan (edited 02-22-2001).] |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
well you can't thank me for your stature and your talent...I think you will have to thank your parents for your stature and look inside to your heart for your talent but I can thank you for your compliments...AND hand your hostess a napkin....rofg |
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Agent696_DS Junior Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 33NY, USA |
Good to see that you have found something in yourself.... Great work... |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I loved the ending to this.........actually, I loved the entire poem.........great writing! SEA |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
thanks agent and SEA, have had an off month or two...or three...lol...just trying to get back to writing |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
ROFL... I'm sorry... I was already losing it with the spitting and the napkins. *G* And all coherent thought disappeared when I saw "yeppers" on your critique flag! LOL (suthern tries to compose herself and remember what it was she wanted to say *G*) I'm grateful you downshifted before touching the sky... for you certainly touched my heart with this wrong turn expert. *S* Well done! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
quote: excellent writing, my very special friend.... really powerful..... straight from the depth of you which is so very profound.... thank you for sharing this ironically, i wrote a poem by the same title... if you are interested, it's here... /pip/Forum43/HTML/001592.html the depth of you, the soul of you, the all you are is shining through... thank you again ((( hugs))) [This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 02-23-2001).] |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
suthern, I must say that laughter looks good on you lady......thank you doreen...sigh...thanks for such nice comments...you make jellybeans sound like she actually knows what she is doing when she attempts to write |
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Voiceless Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686Under the stars upon the wind |
The ending just sits you down and makes you think. thank you for writing this. ~*Peachy Be*~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed this action packed read..James |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
thank you voiceless, and james...am glad that you enjoyed |
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