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Open Poetry #12

Day's Close

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-02-20 06:16 PM

Day’s Close
Virginia Salter

magenta sky
and mandarin sun
gayly sing their serenade
between the afternoon of day
and when the day is done

lavendar firmament
with flecks of white and gold
never shall cease to amaze this one
not now nor when I’m old

© August 23. 2000

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

1 posted 2001-02-20 06:19 PM

They are a beauty to behold. I'm doing just that right now. (sigh)

Beautiful!

<*\\\><

I know not what the future holds,
but I know Who holds the future.

I don't question YOUR existance - GOD

Poeminister
Senior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada

2 posted 2001-02-20 06:49 PM

Enjoyed this.
But something in the last two lines feels a bit awkward ...i'd almost be inclined to leave out the "never" perhaps...just a suggestion...

Poeminister

[This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 02-20-2001).]

NC
Member

since 2001-02-20

Posts 89

3 posted 2001-02-20 07:23 PM

no one does descriptions
of nature like you do Vas

nice to see you haven't lost
the touch!

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