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Two in the Mirror
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Two in the Mirror |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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Loneliness is a living thing A parasite eating my soul An addition that lessens me Denies me a way to feel whole. It smothers smiles before they're born Takes up too much room in my bed Gives me silence enough to hear The cruel voices in my head. It pulls a shroud over my eyes When to the future I would gaze Distorting my depth perception It distances happier days. Magnifying all of my faults It keeps screaming my lack of worth Until I wonder what mistake Could have resulted in my birth. I'd like to lose this companion That has attached itself to me But since each breath is missing you This partnership just has to be. |
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| © Copyright 2001 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
So much depth and rawness that I'm not sure what to say. Hug yourself for me and take care. Love you |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Suthern....very well done....very, very well done.... |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Now that's lonely! I think this is a great description of loneliness...many ways to explain the condition but these are so very poetic..."gives me silence enough to hear....the cruel voices in my head" and that ending tells it all...oh dear love seems to be the bane of all us writers doesn't it? This is so very good!! The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
RG: Your "Love you" said it all, dear lady. *S* Thank you! Sunshine & ethome: Thank you very much for your kind words! *S* |
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ATelamon Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up |
A very strong piece. You words convey pain in a powerfully honest way. Very well written. AT "Time is merely change. It neither enslaves nor determines us. It is instead our opportunity for self-definition" |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Suthern we have to get rid of that companion of yours. He's not very truthful ya know. Your worth is more than it's weight in GOLD! Your birth an even greater gift to us all. HUGS Ruth!! Love ya! <*\\\>< I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. I don't question YOUR existance - GOD |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
indeed. . . it's hard when you have to hold on to the companion to keep it. . . excellent words. . . ----------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Loneliness is a living thing An addition that lessens me Gives me silence enough to hear The cruel voices in my head. Distorting my depth perception Magnifying all of my faults It keeps screaming my lack of worth Until I wonder what mistake Could have resulted in my birth. I'd like to lose this companion That has attached itself to me But since each breath is missing you This partnership just has to be. ===================== oh ruth you break my heart with this... yet I relate so deeply to the feelings.. and you've expressed them with such aching depth... that it feels almost rude to compliment the poem..ya know? ..... you have some very powerful lines here girl.. but this one sums it up with poetic truth. "an addition that lessens me" it does lessen and leave us weak ... "Gives me silence enough to hear The cruel voices in my head." and I want to totally give you a lecture about that 3rd verse...but....YOU KNOW ... and those last two lines.... *sigh*---oh how well I know. intense and powerful work here my dear thanks for a post...we didnt even have to beg  Love is my religion, I believe in nothing else. To find that inspiration, live that inner vision. Love is my religion...I believe in you. ~T Kimmel [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 02-20-2001).] |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
It seems I know this well. A very good poem. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
All the kind words in the world cannot make up for that ONE word that you long to hear. You have shown in this poem, an ache. Described it to a T. And I've been there..am there now too actually. It takes courage to admit it. But now, I think you should smile. Because I believe in fate too. I believe that YOU have something incredible waiting for you. Something that will fill your heart with love! Be open to it.....(and if you don't think this can be true, just ask Prometheus! I read his palm a while back and it all came true!!!) |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Suthern: Good!! Cause you are loved, very much so and I know it's a different kind of love but it's just as solid, maybe even more so because we share a special relationship...not to many daughter's met their mum's on line, hey..  ok, HUSG...Grande Reserve! |
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Voiceless Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686Under the stars upon the wind |
Lonliness is both a cruel face but a reality we have to face at times. you captured the essence of it in this beautiful poem. |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Missing someone can indeed be the depth of loneliness, you've described it very well. When you see yourself in the mirror give yourself credit for having a strength to get you through this. Hugs to you. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SuthernGal~ I'm just *hugging* you tight ! A tenderly sensitive portrayal of loneliness that engulfs each thought ... 'But since each breath is missing you This partnership just has to be.' I see and hear your joy when the other half of 'two' is reflected in your mirror ... Hold on tightly to the joy when you need it ... and don't give up on YOUR half ! I love you, my friend. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I HATE to be called a liar!! Here I am thinking about how terrific of a person you really are and you are telling me you're worthless. A spanking is in order here!!! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
suthern--Not only are you a wonderful poet, who can explain something as isolated and cold as lonliness, with warmth, but you are a loving and caring person...hugs!!!!! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Well, you know what I have to say about this and sometimes a little dusting off of the britches and turning to face the sun instead of walking away from it can get you started in the right direction. All takes time but anything worth truely having does and patience and sharing are two ways to find that warmth in life again. Besides, sometimes all it takes is a good laugh now and then and I know a few ways to make you find that laugh of yours. If you don't believe me ask Ms. Ross, or maybe you could ask one of those walking "you know whats". I have never seen one walk and I don't consider ever seeing one walk and now that will be the end of that .......RIGHT???!!!  Hey, remember........garden pads come in handy for other things too so don't toss them. okay. BTW........loved the write and loving seeing you post without begging going on. LOL Well, at least not in public anyway. You capture these feelings well in this piece and the cadence is really cool. Now I don't suppose you are going to hold a "colette" friend at bay for being happy about a sad poem so let's just say........bleed for now if you must but I will bet you soon it won't be bleeding so much. Put on your poker face there my friend.........and put away the mask. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Only room for one in that mirror, a beautiful person...YOU "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Loneliness is a living thing A parasite eating my soul An addition that lessens me Denies me a way to feel whole. It smothers smiles before they're born Takes up too much room in my bed Gives me silence enough to hear The cruel voices in my head. It pulls a shroud over my eyes When to the future I would gaze Distorting my depth perception It distances happier days. Magnifying all of my faults It keeps screaming my lack of worth without any of the rest this is a perfect sonnet to me and relates to so many... I read you, I heard you, I felt you this morning ~Sighing again {{hugs}} ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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zoe Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 34 |
ok I already told you how great this is, but since the little one was with me most of the day yesterday and juggling little ones, computers, screaming government workers (not to mention the boss) oh and lets not mention multiple personalities either *g*...well suffice it to say I didn't get back to comment on this yesterday. I know it is a comment on our lives that we write our best when sad and lonely...but...I really think this is the best thing you have written...you captured lonely and put it in a gilded cage for us to see...and this I know, I am an expert on lonely you see.....really really perfect writing ruth, I can't even quote a single line...the whole thing is written in my heart |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Oh, my.... Oh MY!!! It's not often this suthern gal is rendered speechless, but your wonderful responses have left me completely flabbergasted! The first line started nagging me about a week ago... and I kept swatting it away, telling it to bring friends if it wanted my attention. *S* And when it did just that Monday night, I was happy enough just to package it up out of pester range... your kind responses are an unexpected but greatly appreciated gift. Thank you all so very much! ethome: I was hurried in my reply to you and Sunshine. *G* Perhaps love is a bane... but it's also a blessing! *G* ATelamon: And you're very kind. *S* Thank you for reading! WhtDove: I've tried! I've tried! LOL. But the dang thing is worse than a leech. *G* You're the gift, lady... thank you! Sven: Your "excellent" means much to me! Thank you so much! Janet Marie: I wish you didn't have to relate so... but since you do, I know it succeeded. *S* As far the lecture... have at it. *G* Believe it or not, dear lady, I'm listening. *S* By the way... I hope you appreciate my sacrifice. *G* That was some cute begging crew! LOL Temptress: That companion does get around, doesn't he? *S* Thank you! PDV: My palm is against the screen... and my heart is overflowing with your understanding. Thank you! RG: To say nothing of the fact that not too many mums are so near in age to their daughters! LOL Big hugs, Little Chick... I'm savoring that reserve vintage. *S* Voiceless: Thank you for reading and finding it beautiful. *S* Gemini: I try to avoid mirrors and have trouble giving credit... but I'm trying. *S* Thank you! Marge: Your hugs and love are greatly appreciated... and reciprocated! *S* And how could I give up such a cheering squad? *G* Thank you! Balladeer: Really????? YEEEEE-HAHHHHHH! LOL Martie: Thank you, sweet lady... such words from a poet and person I admire so much are treasured. Mark: Maybe a talk with one of those "you know whats" would explain to you why changing directions isn't an immediate process for some species? LOL. And what sad poem? Where? Someone has me giggling. *G* By the way... I'm not about to bet against you... you've peeked at the cards! LOL Thanks, cowboy. Kathleen: You sweetie... Bless! *S* Wynter: A sonnet? Really? Believe me, it was an accidental one! LOL. I'm sorry you felt... no one should have to... {hugs} back to you. *S* zoe: Oh, let's DO mention multiple personalities... LOL! Now the question is - If I've captured it, can I let it go? *S* If so, hang on, lady... we'll trash it for the both of us! *S* Thank you, dear friend... your praise means the world to me. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
suthern - I knows how you feel. Loniness can be full of grief, especially when there is another living in the same place. BC |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Powerful representation of the partnership with loneliness...but the bottom line is there was absolutely no mistake to your being born...only the miracle that brought you life. Thanks for sharing your life, well a portion of it with Passions...with me. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Bill Charles & VAS: Thank you so much! I really appreciate your comments. *S* And Bill... grief and loneliness do team up on us all too often... big hugs! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
By my count that would be 24 oh, 'cuse me...............25 to 17...LOL I guess the birth announcement has been decided. Oh, I don't peek at the cards, I don't need to ... I just play the ones delt to me and try to make the most of them.  BTW ... " I Don't Believe " is a good place to start with the certificates don't you think.  Wow.................two posts in one week......what ever will the world think of ya now?!!?  |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
rofg....you said you need sybil's help.... here??? on this one...right???? I did get it right this time didn't I????? *sincerely helpful look* |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Wrong place, Sybil, wrong place!!! ROFL... Take the gang and your sincerely helpful looks over to that cowboy's poem... and hurry!!! LOL Furthermore, cowboy... I can still say nope... not that you listen. LOL |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
ROFL.......cowboy has a band of bandits too ya know and most of them don't have last names or even middle names. Now are you going to write the announcements or what? Are you really going to leave it up to cowboy to announce twins knowing full well of the introduction that the world would get or are you going to give them the chance to be properly seen in the light of your wonderful, caring, sensitive, beautiful, protective, inspiring, kind, CO-OPERATIVE!!!, witty, (how many more superlatives would you like me to come up with?) ways!!!! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Ms suthern, I have been instructed to warn you that any attempt at pulling the numbers out of whack will be dealt with in the form of a gang assault upon your post with many embarrassing overlavish praises. LOL If of course we ever find words that could OVER compliment this EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL EXPRESSION of lonliness. Now please, go check on the twins and make sure they are in proper order and POST!! Please!!! See... smiles, kisses, praise, and all that stuff........don't ya know they are ready for ya????????? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ummmmm... errrrr... Since I thought you'd see my logic in all this and POST already, you have the spellchecked versions! LOL And these two posts in a row??? *G* YOU ARE CHEATING! LOL |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Both on the same thread of course with a simple... ~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~ between them would be good. Ya know, Baby One and Baby Two!!!! |
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zoe Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 34 |
hey I don't really think you need my help, you seem to be doing pretty good all on your own...but sybil seems insistant on helping, I just goofed up jb's password...so hence...me......rofg.....this is wonderful dear lady....and I ditto mark *bg* |
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