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Open Poetry #12
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-02-20 01:31 AM


Shadow Harp
Virginia Salter

shadow-harp
on patio floor
silently strums
melancholy into my heart,
my soul

yet
shadow-ferns
trim this sunlit surface
framing the light
that seeks to illumine my being,
my countenance

oh that I
may take it in
make use of its awesome tenderness
its seeking to ungray
the very inner core of my heart

shadow-legs
stretch across the expanse
in slender stripes
giving contrast
giving dark and light
urging me to stand
in the light of morning


© August 23. 2000

A shadow from a patio chair, on that day, looked much like the shadow of a harp. Do you think I need to somehow include that information in the poem, or can the poem stand at all well without that info?

© Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2001-02-20 05:56 AM


I think the poem can stand on its own as it will stimulate the reader to create his/her own perspective with the words......the explanation draws the reader into your virtual reality and also create their own perspective from that...so both ways it will be effective!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
2 posted 2001-02-21 01:06 PM


VAS--I like this muchly. You paint the vision clearly to mind.

Poeminister

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