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Open Poetry #12
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snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS

0 posted 2001-02-17 04:22 PM


This was obviously inspired by Sunshine's challenge from Open #5, and the reposts thereof...thanks guys for the inspiration...


in the moonlight, the shadow of your tears dances...
overhead lingers the sound of your heart breaking...
the waves of the relentless ocean
breathing to me of my transgression...

in the moonlight, the shadow of your sad eyes glistens...
a distant sailboat carries my ability to reconcile...
the seagulls flying above reminding me
along with it journeys justification...

in the moonlight, the shadow of what love is left taunts...
sparse clouds illustrating what I’ve thrown aside...
cool ocean breeze dries our tears
and brings to mind our first encounter...

in the moonlight, the shadow of forgiveness dances...
within this incessant honesty lies our chance...
touch of music from your kind heart
brings my focus once again to your unending acceptance.

-kh 02/17/01


everytime I close my eyes, I see your face, I taste you on my lips...
every night I fantasize that I can feel you on my fingertips...

© Copyright 2001 snowpants - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-02-17 05:25 PM


in the moonlight, the shadow of your tears dances...
overhead lingers the sound of your heart breaking...
the waves of the relentless ocean
breathing to me of my transgression...

in the moonlight, the shadow of your sad eyes glistens...
a distant sailboat carries my ability to reconcile...
the seagulls flying above reminding me
along with it journeys justification...
=================

beautiful imagery laced with soft spoken free verse...
very well done Sp ... love the promise of this ones emotions
with each write you show another side of your growth.
way cool

As sure as God made wine
you can't wrap your arms around a memory
In the dark for me
youre the candle flame that flickers to life
~Mission UK~

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
2 posted 2001-02-17 05:35 PM


SP* JM pegged this one right on...I haven't
been in Passions much in the last months but
your growth as a poet is evident..and
something to be very very proud of...this
one floated through the emotions and danced
in imagery...beautiful work~

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2001-02-17 07:51 PM


BRAVO!!! This is amazing........you swept me up into this.......I love the forgivness......and how good it felt to read. Really wonderful poem -SEA
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
4 posted 2001-02-17 08:03 PM


Kris~

i knew you were good but this is
simply fantastic! then again i knew
you were that too lol loved this
one girlie...full of such beauty and
tenderness...and i agree with Jan...you
my dear friend are growing by leaps
and bounds. jan and holly are two very
bright women...listen to them

love ya girlie.
amy

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten
the words."


walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
5 posted 2001-02-17 08:56 PM


This poem shows the compassionate side of humanity. Forgiveness, reconciliation, unending acceptance. That's what love is all about.Sounds to me like one of the ten commandments. Really a job well done.
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
6 posted 2001-02-17 09:07 PM


JM: thank you! your wonderful comments mean a lot to me!

butterflies: well, that is a great compliment to me...I am glad you like this!!

SEA: thank you! yes, the forgiveness is a very important part of this...I am glad you like this!!

Aims: now, what do I say to that?? Simply fantastic...well, thank you so much, my dear friend...and, being my biggest fan, it is important that you like it!! Thanks, girlie!! -e ~~~~

walker: well, thank you, my friend...the compassionate side of humanity is definitely what I am after in this...I am glad you could stop by!!

sp


everytime I close my eyes, I see your face, I taste you on my lips...
every night I fantasize that I can feel you on my fingertips...

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
7 posted 2001-02-18 09:58 AM


YEPPERS.....you are growing and taking challenges and finding ways to capture the reader in your own style and all those lead to the sign on your door that says " Please do NOT feed the poet, it could lead to familiarity and fame " I guess you will just have to start thinking about it cause you seem to be eating alot of poetic oats and growing in leaps and bounds. Great write my friend and I love the way you take honesty and love and tie them together to strengthen the bond that sometimes finds it's way swaying.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
8 posted 2001-02-18 10:04 AM


I like what Mark said about eating lots of poetic oats....I have to agree this is a wonderful write ...life seems to be about forgiveness and I for one loved the way you worded this poem...good work!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
9 posted 2001-02-18 04:29 PM


Mark: wow...what could I say to a reply like that, except that I am honored to have you say that I'm growing poetically...thank you, my dear friend...I am glad you like the part about tying honesty and love together...pretty much the point I was trying to make...

ethome: why, thank you, as well for agreeing with the poetic oats thing...I'm glad you like this one!

sp


everytime I close my eyes, I see your face, I taste you on my lips...
every night I fantasize that I can feel you on my fingertips...

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