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Open Poetry #12
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desperado
Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312
FT Hood,Tx

0 posted 2001-02-17 06:18 AM



24 hour dutys and knee deep snow
nothing to do and no where to go
tired of work with no time to play
trapped in the crap of one more day
people of rank and people of file
people that make it less than worthwhile
rule after rule form straw after straw
a thin line between rule and law
time and again they lay them down
one by one they will make a crown
with thorns and needles to leave their mark
in a way not hid by the dark
after time it wears the soul away
minute by minute and day by day
a steady drizzle of white snow
bright on your eyes to hide the show
so many secrets hid by the dark of night
so many wrongs made worse by one right
a pile of straws placed in a sack
a forcibly shoved onto your back
stuck there from dawn to dawn
no time for rest or even yawn
the sack overflows and still they place more
and scream in rage if it falls to the floor
it's only a matter of time till the fuse breaks
the sky will cry pure white and the earth shakes
and they wonderwhy no one wants to come here
the land of the morning calm is a land of fear
fear of what is and will be
fear of what was and should be
a land still struggling with the past
as it's people wonder how long will it last
and the soldiers who came here to protect and serve
remain at the very end of a nerve
faced by those who no longer care
and by those who don't want us there
wanting appologies politicians won't give
for the innocents who will no longer live
and the dreams and hopes of a people trapped
lay on the straw the just might have cracked
that dwells upon your tiny back
inside an already overflowing sack
held by a hand sweaty and sore
hovering inches from a dirty floor
and they wonder why noone sane comes here
to this land of mystery and countless fear
yours or mine or the person walking by
add them up and then multiply
by the square of 365 times two
and only then will you know just what to do
but you'd already be crazy just counting the math
for sometimes you wonder if it's the right path
that your destined to walk or stumble on down
torn by the thorn on your crown
question or moral, rule or law
falling down is the final straw
just one answer more do I lack
will this be the straw that breaks my back


"There were times in my life when I was going insane tryin to walk through the pain. When I lost my grip and I hit the floor yeah I thought I could le

© Copyright 2001 James Webster - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2001-02-17 07:31 AM


24 hour dutys and knee deep snow
nothing to do and no where to go
tired of work with no time to play
trapped in the crap of one more day

you are very well appreciated..huggzzz

* and that today crap is everywhere...although I know there is no comparison....
~Wynter...wishing you well


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102
Texas
2 posted 2001-02-17 09:56 AM


Uh huh I see how it is. Pullin 24 hour duty and not gettin online to talk. Sneaky. Godd poem, I can feel your frustration. Peace love and Happiness man.

"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
3 posted 2001-02-18 11:24 AM


Hi Desperado,

You have told an age old story here with great emotion and wisdom, I applauld you in this one, wonderful poetry here friend.

Love, Cerenity


"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)



WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
4 posted 2001-02-18 07:22 PM


Desperado, you sound like you're ready to come home. It's rough out there!

Keep on keepin on....you can do it, don't let the straw put you down.

Tennessee Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661
Tennessee
5 posted 2001-02-19 06:20 PM


Desperado -- Believe me when I say that there are those of us out here who appreciate what you do. This is a wonderful piece by the way. Great writing!
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
6 posted 2001-02-19 06:28 PM


Dearest Desperado,
I do hope that you will be coming home very soon. I think you've told your story and your thoughts about it very effectively in this. May hope and peace be your enduring company, friend. ((HUGS)) (@)----> X 1,000 and may they not wither in the winter wind.

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

7 posted 2001-02-19 06:33 PM


What strikes me about your poem is not only the effectiveness of repetition to convey the idea of approaching that final straw, but the ease with which you show the scenario through the eyes and perception of many, not just the speaker. A fine composition, Desperado. Thanks for it, and do take care.

Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2001-02-20 02:00 PM


Though I know it's no fun having one aggravation pile onto another, you've written the frustration into a great poem!

And you reminded me to say something you should hear more often: THANK YOU!

desperado
Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312
FT Hood,Tx
9 posted 2001-02-21 03:24 AM


I'd like to thank all of ya'll for reading this. sometimes it's hard to understand just what people are doing and it's even harder when they don't know of any who care. I came in today feeling burned out and worn down, yet reading all the responses here made me feel good today. and most of you have been very supportive and I'd like to thank you. I printed this out and plan on putting it on my wall. not so much for the poem itself, but for the words that follow it. thank you.



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