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walker
Member Elite

since 2001-02-11

Posts 2240
Florida

0 posted 2001-02-16 05:30 PM

You walk dizzy in your life.
Struggling while you fall
apart. You self talk is not
ordinary, for you talk outloud.
Bad days cause you internal
damage. Good days also do.
Caged you have your sanity,
she's an escape artist too.
Your love you give away. Draining
it drop by drop. At times returning
empty. But always without doubts.
Eagerly you wait for nothing, for
nothing is forthcoming. Your
existence you owe to no one
for you, you walk alone.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2001-02-16 05:32 PM

Sounds like a real loner...I think you probably mean YOUR self talk....I like the expression it's well concieved!!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

2 posted 2001-02-16 05:33 PM

Sounds like a real loner...I think you probably mean YOUR self talk....I like the expression it's well concieved!!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

walker
Member Elite

since 2001-02-11

Posts 2240
Florida

3 posted 2001-02-16 06:33 PM

Thanks for the correction, I'm a bad typist.

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

4 posted 2001-02-16 08:32 PM

I'm just curious...how did you come upon this style? I like it, just took some getting used to. And as always, liked this, too.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

5 posted 2001-02-16 08:40 PM

I have truly felt every line of this. I've always felt alone.
Then I thought I wasn't, now, I dont know, but God is with me
so that's good enough for now.

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

walker
Member Elite

since 2001-02-11

Posts 2240
Florida

6 posted 2001-02-17 09:50 AM

JLR- This forum has given me the opportunity for others to critique my work for the first time. I don't have any particular style, I just write how I think it. I do love Lord Byron's She walks in beauty, like the night.

Kathleen- I've also felt God's presence in my loneliness. Thanks.

A quarter of a century must pass, for the writer to understand what and why he writes.

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