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Open Poetry #12
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AniKay83
Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388
Missing Since 1999

0 posted 2001-02-16 03:17 PM


I promised myself
I wouldn't think of you anymore,
write of you,
dream of you,
speak of you,
breathe of you...

You said say goodnight,
never good-bye.

But you promised things, too.
And they were broken
with just as much disregard
for heart's consequence.

You never kissed me goodnight,
always good-bye.

The line's been crossed,
broken,
distorted,
and frayed...
yet, you still wish to remain
balanced on the edge
of my soul's sanity.

Your lips said goodnight,
but your eyes said good-bye.

Could you not
put cruel to kind?
And give me some room
to breathe a scent
less farmiliar,
less foregoing,
and far less fragile?

We forgot how goodnight
felt just like good-bye.

My encroaching calm...
I crave you more than
night craves dawn's
long awaited break.
But what do you know of light?
The boy with the moon in his eyes
who swallowed all my
starlight kisses,
never again to see them
light your lips.

I can no longer say goodnight.
I'm sorry, good-bye.

Good-bye...




"And I wanted you to turn away.
You don't remember, but I do.
You never even tried..."
~Fuel


© Copyright 2001 Christine Straka - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-02-16 03:21 PM


This....

quote:
The boy with the moon in his eyes
who swallowed all my
starlight kisses,



is wonderful writing....

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
2 posted 2001-02-16 04:41 PM


'You never kissed me good-night, always goodbye'........oh.......how I can feel the sorrow in this one, and the need to move on.
This is wonderful, and I'm glad you put it here for these eyes to read!!


Live...Love...Be grateful for both!!




ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2001-02-16 04:52 PM


Very very well written .......love the whole feel!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-02-16 06:34 PM


This broke my heart, for I know the feeling in every word.
No matter what the circumstances it is anguish to say goodby to
someone you truly love.

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
5 posted 2001-02-16 07:29 PM


quote:
You said say goodnight,
never good-bye.

The line's been crossed,
broken,
distorted,
and frayed...
yet, you still wish to remain
balanced on the edge
of my soul's sanity.

Your lips said goodnight,
but your eyes said good-bye.

I crave you more than
night craves dawn's
long awaited break.


i took some lines from your poem and quoted them above because those were the ones which prove to me that you are an astute individual with the vision of poetry and command of the language which will guarantee your success as a seer and fine poet.... and THAT was a run-on sentence... but i just wanted to tell you how impressed i am with your writing, especially knowing that you are so very young, chronologically....

well done, miss.... i applaud you! continue to use such imagery and fresh phrasing... i will look forward to reading you as you grow to be a writer admired by many.....  

Kate Bennet
New Member
since 2001-02-15
Posts 7
State of Disarray
6 posted 2001-02-16 08:48 PM


Beautiful, bittersweet images rendered in the purest essence of emotion. I felt the pain in every line.

I concur with Doreen...you have the heart and pen of the poet.

Kate

AniKay83
Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388
Missing Since 1999
7 posted 2001-02-17 09:21 PM


Sunshine~ Thanks for reading and the nice comments!

Sunnyone~ Yeah I Definately need to move on! Although, I seem to be having some trouble with it! And I thank those eyes for reading and you for replying.

ethome~ Thanks for reading.

Kathleen~ Yes, something like that is really hard. Though I don't feel like I can ever express the total anguish felt by such an experience. Thanks for reading.

doreen peri~ I'll let that run-on sentence slide, seeing as how you gave me such a great confidence booster tonight! A young and growing poet such as myself needs these things sometimes, but I think everyone does sometimes. But we also need inspiration, and I seem to find a lot of it here in Passsions. It goes without saying, that you are a brilliant poet, but what I think needs to be said, is that I find your poems and definately your comments, as well to be a wonderful inspiration. Your poems are beautiful and your replys quite insightful. Anyway, I'm going to stop before I start rambling, and I'll just leave with a big THANK YOU!!!! for your amazing reply. You have no idea how good it really did make me feel, so again, thank you.

Kate Bennet~ Thank you, too for the great reply.

"And I wanted you to turn away.
You don't remember, but I do.
You never even tried..."
~Fuel



[This message has been edited by AniKay83 (edited 02-17-2001).]

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