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Open Poetry #12
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A Day Complete
| Open Poetry #12 |
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A Day Complete |
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Jill Member
since 2001-02-02
Posts 62Louisiana |
Shooting stars on a summers night My love for you has soared new heights Gentle rain on a cold afternoon Together by the fire, just me and you Sunrise with you on a pier by the ocean Bodies rocking in rhythm and motion Snow-capped mountains, majestic in size The love that you feel shines in your eyes Sunsets we share make my day complete Lay my head on your chest to feel your heartbeat |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kate Bennet New Member
since 2001-02-15
Posts 7State of Disarray |
What a sweet love poem, Jill! Kate |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
great love poem for sure and well done!! The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
This is a fine piece, the rhythm stays true clear till the last line. One thing I thought of was to remove the word Lay from the last line, but one or two more syllables need to come out. Have fun puzzling how to get there. Then, too, it might just be the way I'm reading it. |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Jill, Lovely thoughts and visions in this. Nicely done. Poeminister |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Sounds like some wonderful romantic times...James |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) So very sweet! Welcome to Passions! Such a romantic and lovely poem! You have such a beautiful heart, my friend, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
wonderful use of imagery and rhyme. lovely poem of romantic devotion. well done and welcome to passions take care jm As sure as God made wine you can't wrap your arms around a memory In the dark for me youre the candle flame that flickers to life ~Mission UK~ |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy the read  welcome to passions |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Jill, This is lovely could picture your day wonderful and welcome to Passions I hope you are enjoying your stay,, Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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