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Open Poetry #12
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Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2001-02-14 01:20 PM


do you remember when we met?
funny, it seems like it was yesterday
sun in the sky, breeze through the trees
there you stood
          wrapped in a white gauze dress
          blonde hair and blue eyes blinding my vision
I walked up, introduced myself
we wound up spending the day together
and when the day was over
we just couldn't say goodbye
but we had to that day
and in your kiss, I knew that we would
          never have to after that
I remember the first time I was alone with you
I was so nervous
you were so beautiful
          and me, I was just this simple guy who still
          couldn't believe that we were together
we went on from there
          living and loving
          laughing and crying
we built a life together you and I
and now. . .

                                                 excuse me?
                                                  Sir, excuse me?


Huh???

                                                 Sir, would you like fries with that?

oh. . . um. . . yeah. . .
                          . . . sure. . .

funny,
if only I'd met you when
                          and not now. . .

. . . timing is everything. . .

-------------------------------------------------------------------

          


To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.


[This message has been edited by Sven (edited 02-14-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

1 posted 2001-02-14 01:25 PM


~weep~

Timing is everything...and after your so kind reply to the poem you know I am referring to you will know why this poem affects me right?

Hugs...

K


...and I have found that a lifetime can be lived in one moment...

T.G.M.

ParisGrl
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 610

2 posted 2001-02-14 01:47 PM


John,

Yes, timing is everything.......good luck to you.

~laura~

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

3 posted 2001-02-14 02:12 PM


its amazing sometimes what comes out of a challenge, i love to see how the different poets take to the challenge.....this is no exception...sven this is really really touching.....and well done.....the form makes it even more effective and dramatic...nice work
Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2001-02-14 08:49 PM


K, yes. . . I know why. . . {{HUGS}}

Laura, I know that it is. . . but why??? Thank you. . .

jb, thank you. . . just thought I'd take a different look at it. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Marsha
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
5 posted 2001-02-15 07:04 AM


AD dear heart, this is quite simply utterly beautiful. Outstandingly totally stunning.

Timing is everything, and my doesn't it make a difference. (Thus speaketh the voice of experience)

Love it truly
Take care love as always
Mushy


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning



catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
6 posted 2001-02-15 07:20 AM


Oh my, I have so many thoughts on this, mostly regret that we do have to wish for better timing, when we had already found the right one, and let them go, somehow.
Beatiful. This is perfect in so many ways.
S

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
7 posted 2001-02-15 03:36 PM


Hehehehehe. I love the fries bit!

Looking for part two now!


~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"



ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
8 posted 2001-02-15 05:22 PM


I read part 2 first but this makes me realize the quality of both and I really enjoyed the read! (both times)
athena4
Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622

9 posted 2001-02-15 05:33 PM


Sven,
I can completely relate to this beauty. And as they say, "Timing is of the Essence" NOW can we build that time machine???
Much love, Elise

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

10 posted 2001-02-15 05:36 PM


hi Sven, I have much reading to catchup on these days but I'm pleased I got a chance to read your #1 it's delightful reading and I enjoyed the 'spin/angle' you took for the challenge...

Really creative PoetFriend
*~coco~*

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
11 posted 2001-02-15 07:10 PM


John--
I am kinda backwards these days lol as
I read part 2 before part 1 so i had to
read this one and then reread the second
part...but i must say absoultely
stunning work. i love how you worded and
structured this...and you are so right...
timing is everything...

take care
amy

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten
the words."


AniKay83
Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388
Missing Since 1999
12 posted 2001-02-15 07:49 PM


As always, brilliant, Sven, my friend. I love that whole lost in a moment thing. Going to find part 2 now.

"And I wanted you to turn away.
You don't remember, but I do.
You never even tried..."
~Fuel


Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
13 posted 2001-02-15 11:01 PM


Mushy love, thank you. . . indeed that is the lesson for this V-Day!!!  

Sandra, if I had better timing. . . well, I'm sure that you know the rest. . . thank you my friend. . .

Sheri, thanks!!   I like that part too!!  Who among us hasn't zoned out like this??

ethome, thank you my friend. . . glad that you enjoyed. . .  

Elise, if you draw up the plans, I'm sure that we can find someone to help us build it. . .

PoetFriend Coco, thank you so much!!!

Amy, glad that you liked them both. . . and you're forgiven for being backwards. . . I think a lot of us are these days!!  

AniKay, yep. . . if only we could stay in those moments. . . *sigh*. . . thank you. . .  

-------------------------------------------------------------



To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

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