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Open Poetry #12
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2001-02-13 11:46 PM


Dearest love, empower these senses and visions,
To roam and gain,
And walk the toward the steady beat of triumph's lost land.
Take the skip of my instrument,
And turn it into a weapon magical,
For I will wield it only in truth,
And sheath it only when the hour comes,
That I shall no longer have the wit to create.
In moments I make this plea,
For you to steadfast my side,
Never flinching when often my journeys take me away from your protective cloak.
For in all this absence,
I may seek you one day and never peek into the sunlight again.
This night, surround me with you,
And write upon my mood softly,
Entertaining me and this mysterious singing tool in my hand.
Let me be next to you lest the ink of me runs cold or dries out,
Leaving behind only smeared discolorations,
Like old love letters left behind in the rain of life,
And in the path of reminiscent tears.


"This above all-ask yourself in the stillest hour of your night:MUST I write? Delve into yourself for a deep answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke
from "Le




[This message has been edited by Temptress (edited 02-15-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2001-02-14 12:07 PM


This night, surround me with you,
And write upon my mood softly,


nice...I like your dark...


~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2001-02-14 01:13 PM


wow. . . this is beautiful. . .

I love it. . . I really do. . .



--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
3 posted 2001-02-15 02:07 AM


This is a dark, yet soft and beautiful write.....fantastic job!

Nathan

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
4 posted 2001-02-15 08:47 AM


Tears and rain, made up of water. Yet we need water to survive. Perhaps, we need to have bad days to appreaciate the good ones. How unfair! Lovely poem.

A quarter of a century must pass, for the writer to understand what and why he writes.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

5 posted 2001-02-15 08:51 AM


very nice expression and sensitivity here, Jenn.

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
6 posted 2001-02-15 08:55 AM


"And write upon my mood softly."
That line is the total summation of the feel, the luxurious feel of this piece.
I do thing that 'me' would be more fitting in the phrase "entertaining I" that's the only part that troubled me. Am I reading it wrong?

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
7 posted 2001-02-15 09:26 PM


The "I" has been changed to "Me" and thanks to all who have read this. I wasn't in a dark mood when I wrote it, so it really isn't a soiled mood or day sort of poem. I wrote this while sitting in a park in the nighttime hours the other day because I LOVE being out at night, or outside at night. I was writing to communicate how my love of the night, night owl that I am, inspires me. Thanks for reading everyone!

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