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Open Poetry #12
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Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

0 posted 2001-02-13 09:09 PM


You have listened
as I spoke of


long gray shadows
leading dusk into night

of ghosts that live in places
where dreams have died

of a world that is filled with
frozen rivers and flowing tears

of stars with watchful eyes
and days that seemed like nights

of trains that sing us lullabies
as they glide by on lonely tracks

of evenings spent in reminisce
of dew covered mornings

You have watched
as I have slept


and you the awakener
have coloured the shadows

painted the clouds
beneath the sinking sun

exorcising the memories
that had replaced my dreams

shown my tears to the ocean
to share their salted past

given me some warmth
to hold on those long nights

your song has muted the cries
of the sorrowful sonneteer

you have raised my expectations
awakening a newly risen sun

© Copyright 2001 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-02-13 09:27 PM


and you the awakener
have coloured the shadows

painted the clouds
beneath the sinking sun

exorcising the memories
that had replaced my dreams

shown my tears to the ocean
to share their salted past

given me some warmth
to hold on those long nights

your song has muted the cries
of the sorrowful sonneteer

you have raised my expectations
awakening a newly risen sun
===========

jamie this is so filled with lovely images and poetic phrases of emotion..
creative, style and presentation...
very cool write poet sir

In the evening when you see my eyes
Looking back at you no disguise
Im not sure who you think youll see
Im just hoping youll still know that its me

Celeste
Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597

2 posted 2001-02-13 09:29 PM


Oh wow.........my first thought was "I wish I could write like that". Outstanding! I applaud!

To capture and live a moment is truly living


Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2001-02-13 09:41 PM


The emotion behind this suits you sir!! Wonderful!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2001-02-13 10:12 PM


"the awakener"--yes, that is exactly what if feels like...wonderful, poet man!
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2001-02-13 11:51 PM


ah Jamie--isn't it wonderful that shadows can be dispelled and darkness turn to light...and tears and laughter shared...this is beautiful!
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2001-02-14 12:13 PM


of trains that sing us lullabies
as they glide by on lonely tracks

I love this line...I live near a rail and I actually dont hear the trains as noise anymore...but as a calming sound...

~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
7 posted 2001-02-14 11:28 AM


Thanks to each of you for the nice replies.
And thanks to the awakener,
whose gifts will green other worlds,
which is as it should be.

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

8 posted 2001-02-14 01:30 PM


Funny...there is a challenge right now 'timing is everything' - more irony..

I will always listen, and I will watch...even if from a distance. Thankyou for the gift of light, and of a green moon. The awakener believes in a whole lot more now.

(and your talent for penning is not as sparse as you might think...)


...and I have found that a lifetime can be lived in one moment...

T.G.M.

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
9 posted 2001-02-14 01:31 PM


superb. . . just superb. . .

------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
10 posted 2001-02-19 01:57 AM


Jamie...this is just wonderful...and the images it calls to mind are so beautiful
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2001-02-19 06:57 AM


I am so very grateful that I have not missed this....

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

12 posted 2001-06-06 07:05 AM


~some months later~

as it should be hey?

I disagree ~laughing lightly~

It is nice to reread your poems hon, with a different perspective and vision.

K


Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
13 posted 2001-08-11 09:56 PM


Perspective is indeed all important.... and isn't it funny how our perspectives change..


HK>LK

from any and every perspective

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

14 posted 2003-01-18 06:03 AM


No, not funny - just inevitable...
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