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Open Poetry #12
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-02-12 04:50 AM


Okay. It's done.
It's been so fun.
But I can take the hint.
It did take time
to undo rhyme
and recognize
time,wasted, spent.

No longer now,
your beck and call
no stretch of net
to catch your fall
you--so fond
of so-tall-walls
My love, regret
now in relent.

There will be
another there.
Always, another
much more fair.
Someone to greet
your one-eyed stare
and think of you
as heaven sent.

I leave with you
undying love.
May leaving now
bring peace of dove
so keep my words
in memory of
a time of truth -
(how I loved you...)
BOLDLY--with no
payment due
and not a thought
of recompense--

I leave you, love,
in self-defense.

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2001-02-12 05:04 AM


well, well,

well said  *s

~Wynter

(am at a loss of words...just momentarily anyway)


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
2 posted 2001-02-12 07:22 AM


the one-eyed stare line really got to me, y'know? this is one heckuva poem to read first thing in the morning with my first cup of coffee.... lol.... geesh

you have met this challenge 3, 4? times now? how DO you do it? isn't this supposed to be a guessing game challenge? oh phooey... i can't guess... it's way too early to guess.... but i'm guessing that each of the times you met this challenge, the muse was someone else, would that be a fair assessment?

"one-eyed stare" "undying love".... wow!! you got me thinking a lot quicker than the caffeine..... *wink* lol


zoe
Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 34

3 posted 2001-02-12 09:54 AM


this is incredible....the power of emotions in such short terse but intense thoughts...wow
Melody
Junior Member
since 2001-02-12
Posts 16
England
4 posted 2001-02-12 10:07 AM


Serenity how wonderfully well written i really love this, outstanding and beautiful work. This reminds me of an old flame.
Thank you for the pleasure this gave me
                   Love it
                     Melody
                        ::


But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-02-12 12:19 PM


It did take time
to undo rhyme
and recognize
time,wasted, spent.

==============
you--so fond
of so-tall-walls
My love, regret
now in relent.

There will be
another there.

and think of you
as heaven sent.

I leave with you
undying love.
May leaving now
bring peace of dove
so keep my words
in memory of
a time of truth -
(how I loved you...)
BOLDLY--with no
payment due
and not a thought
of recompense--

I leave you, love,
in self-defense.
==================


*let the worship begin*  
oh me twin ... me lovely moth of heart ..
this is so.. SO classic sen ...
this structure is unequaled in emote display
of your poetry
and your timing and rhyme get more perfect and awesome with every write ...
and you KNOW this one is engraved on me moth heart ...
this is like a moth anthem baby  



see me now ...
extinguish flame
no longer to call
(to whisper)
out thy name
set you free
of strings that tie
let you be
(and wonder I)
will you miss us
miss sound of
sweet sigh
will you miss
lips of caress
my touch was never
one of possess
still your need
was more than me
so now take leave
(take piece of me)
blinded by your light
I did not see
watch me now
extinguish flame
and set you free

me moth muse loves ya me twin  






Where the touch of the lover ends
And the soul of the friend begins
There's a need to be separate and a need to be one
And a struggle neither wins

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

6 posted 2001-02-12 01:22 PM


ok already said this is awesome, but wanted to add you to my library, so I can keep track of your poems til i am back
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

7 posted 2001-02-12 01:22 PM


ok already said this is awesome, but wanted to add you to my library, so I can keep track of your poems til i am back
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

8 posted 2001-02-12 04:15 PM


Whew!  You go girl.   I'm too weak for a challenge and besides I left...oh, look here I am!     This truly is full of emotion, much emotion.  

"I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis



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