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Open Poetry #12
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JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785


0 posted 2001-02-11 08:25 PM



It’s Too Soon

I found the T-shirt I slept in
The last night I slept with you
And I held it to my face
Hoping…but knowing
There wouldn’t be a trace.
I slipped it on, over my head
Felt you lifting it off, again
Laid back into the soft white down
Pulled the blankets tightly around.
It’s too soon…I cannot remember yet
Go away from my closed eyes
Please, just let me cover my head
You’re not here to soothe my cries.
There is no comfort in your memory
No chance I’ll ever win
Only surety…I would lose my mind
Should I live through you again.


© Copyright 2001 JLR - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-02-11 08:38 PM


I like this....and I like it very much!
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

2 posted 2001-02-11 10:09 PM


Thanks Sunshine.  For reading and liking.  Note to self: make next post happy!  You're getting to be a drag already.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-02-12 08:20 AM


I found the T-shirt I slept in
The last night I slept with you
And I held it to my face
Hoping…but knowing
There wouldn’t be a trace.
I slipped it on, over my head
Felt you lifting it off, again
Laid back into the soft white down
Pulled the blankets tightly around.
=====================
Only surety…I would lose my mind
Should I live through you again.
====================
oh man ....
what a cool poem ...no your not becoming a "drag"  
very well done...
the imagery and emotions balance each other perfect..
and the impact of those last two lines...
poetically perfect
very cool evoke JLR

Where the touch of the lover ends
And the soul of the friend begins
There's a need to be separate and a need to be one
And a struggle neither wins

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
4 posted 2001-02-12 08:47 AM


i DO so love this...what a great love-lost story teller...sorry, of course that you have such a love-loss... but this is very well written...

and dont you worry about becoming a drag!  sometimes we poets just gotta drag a little...we'll cry with your tears, then we'll laugh with you when things look sunny again--when youre done sifting the blues love....    

hugs, g


[This message has been edited by dgvarner (edited 02-12-2001).]

JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

5 posted 2001-02-12 04:12 PM


Thanks JM for reading and your kind response.  I appreciate the positive feedback.  I'm really glad you liked it.
dgv--a 'lost-love story teller'...I love it!  Sometimes I wonder if I don't provoke the dramas in my life just so I'll have something to write about!  

kcsgrandma
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522
Presque Isle, ME
6 posted 2001-02-12 06:04 PM


Anyone who writes with such eloquence could never be a drag.  You draw us into your experience, as only a true poet can do.  

To love another person is to see the face of God.
- Les Miserables

Marilyn

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2001-02-12 06:24 PM


indeed you are not a drag. . . this is superb. . . and yes, sometimes maybe we do make our lives a little more dramatic in the name of great poetry. . . but, we're poets, it's what we do best!!!

superb. . .

----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
8 posted 2001-02-12 08:13 PM


There is no comfort in your memory


this was a beautiful write,J and you know I have a  T shirt like that...hmmmm  

~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
9 posted 2001-02-13 07:31 PM


You can smell her again,if only you close your eyes. For love always leave scents and traces behind. That can be a blessing as well as a curse, for every dejavu there is a captured second of our life. I like this poem.
P.S. Thanks for your support!

ParisGrl
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 610

10 posted 2001-02-13 08:19 PM


JLR,

Beautiful work, I know what you are going through.......i know its hard but there is someone else out there waiting for us. Take Care.

~Laura~

Mother_Earth
Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 1370
1/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan
11 posted 2001-02-13 08:28 PM


JLR, you know I seem to find more sad than happy, but you sure do a great with your sad. I've been told it will get better, but you are already healing. Hugs, ME
PS. I like your style!

Celeste
Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597

12 posted 2001-02-13 08:40 PM


Such emotion. Brought me to tears. You've captured my mood today. I thank you for this, it's wonderfully written.

To capture and live a moment is truly living


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