»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #12
»
awake (repost)
| Open Poetry #12 |
|
awake (repost) |
|
|
gnosis Junior Member
since 2000-05-14
Posts 12 |
i had my mom post this before. apparently that wasn't cool with the moderators, so i'll post it again now. this is a poem from my new (and growing) collection of insomnia-inspired poetry called sleepless. i'll be posting the other poems soon, or you could just go to the site to view them. awake or crime, punishment, and drifting i can't sleep... i drove too fast, and this is my punishment. and i'm stuck in a metaphor to a stick. that is to say, i'm not sure what this means. that is to say that i'm not sure why i remain awake. and what i mean is... why was i driving so fast? it may have been fun, and entertaining the idea in my mind was healthy... but what did i hope to accomplish by that, pushing more into every mile... and 31 more miles into every hour...? and so i ask myself... what was the fatal error? was the piercing volume of "waking up beside you" too much? did the cancer from my cigarette throw me into delusion? was i wrong to think i could drive 76? well with the law ahead, and the law behind, i surely knew i was doing wrong. right? and i was surely aware that i could harm the wildlife, the stupid wildlife, the ignorant animals that would run, blindly, in front of two tons of metal hurdling through air at an illegal pace, wasn't i? well i wasn't aware of the consequences, or the possibilities. just as i'm unaware of the reason, the explanation as to why i'm awake at this minute. i know that by suffering today, tomorrow will be easier. but what do i care? i may never live to see love, i may never grow old. i may just remain awake, in this moment. i may just seperate from time completely, lost in a question that is as important as a stick. and i'm not sure why i think that i'm a simile, a metaphor like a poem. and by now it's clear that i'm losing sleep. i may be losing my mind. or at least coherence. i'm not even sure if i know the meaning of coherence, and i'm certainly not sure whether that was the word i meant to say. but... as i have said at least once or something... i'm determined to determine why i was so determined to drive so fast. i mean... hell... i thought i saw an eon on the horizon, but there was no mental confirmation, as it was already past before i got a good look. in fact, i missed a lot while i passed along, ignorant. i may have missed the stupid wildlife afterall. but i certainly wasn't made aware of its existence or presence. and i thought i saw a man die today. and i thought i knew his name. but in reality, it could have just been a dream. i dream far too often now. in fact, i'm quite sure that my whole life is a dream. except it makes less sense. [and as i stop to think about punctuation, and the english language, i think fuc,k it .? ***this isn't even important" so why am i paying attention to it? but the point here... is that i. stopped, (and i think i am beginning to realize that i've lost control.)] so now i'm at a halt. i've memorized the tempo and hue of blue lights identifying the law. i've come close to redefining "car" as "toilet" out of pure terror. that's right, i nearly pissed on everything. everything. but i didn't. which is a relief. or... not a relief. but it's certainly... a Good Thing. and instead of sitting in filth, i'm sitting in reality. still awake. not even the droning of this.... droning?... has sedated me. i might as well have driven faster. at least i would have enjoyed it. at least it would have been worth the consequences. hell.. what's stopping me now? i could floor it, and drive until i hit something or run out of gas. either way i'll stop again. and i'll be allowed to rest. right now i'm idling. so forget about me, because while you sleep, while you dream, i dream and i'm awake. and i'm in constancy. even in cycles, even as the earth revolves, as my life rotates, the beat may pick up, but i'm stuck on a sour note. and now i'm lost. and so i've come to a conclusion. one shouldn't drive fast. one shouldn't risk the life of onesself, or the lives of others. and as i have every right to say what one should or shouldn't do, one has the right to do as one pleases. but if you're reading this... and you don't understand a word of it, understand that it may be a metaphor to a lost love, or it may be a derranged, sleepless, extended thought on a speeding ticket. or it may be a stick. i really don't know what i'm saying. or why i'm awake, for that matter. but, as i was saying... understand that speed limits are there for a reason... to bring income into the state's bank accounts. and if you violate the law, you are a hero. wow, gee thanks man. you hit my ****in' kid, and now we can afford to pave a road over her grave. go nuts, and don't ever let me near words again. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 jason - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"was the piercing volume of "waking up beside you" too much?" I think I just chose my favorite line..smiles luvie... ps THANK YOU |
||
|
gnosis Junior Member
since 2000-05-14
Posts 12 |
that's one of my favorite lines, as well. "ps THANK YOU" in the words of James, my friend and bandmate... "NO!....... you're welcome." and thank you. |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I like this so much, it's going back to the front "j" ---and speaking of piercing volume? guess who snores?  kind of disconcerting when ya wake up staring at your lover's feet because out of simple self preservation, they turned themselves around! lol...e ya later! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
