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tempering (secret valentine challenge #3)
| Open Poetry #12 |
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tempering (secret valentine challenge #3) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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And God so said, "So now we need simplicity of tempering-- as fire strengthens steel in heat- so must it be with you. But first I make temptation's sake desire of fire borne anew..." and then he took all that was fair and from the air, created you. "Humility," he said, "needs she..." and so he put me on my knees and every doubt a breach of faith so each belief I could forsake discarded oh-so-easily... How quickly hunger turns to greed! Stoke the fire! Churn the coal! Pump the bellow's stories told Listen...ssshhh.. in keen of wind remembering the rhyme of sin, a shovel to dig hole again becoming pit, I might fall in. |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ATelamon Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up |
I particularly like the ending. As one who seemingly carries nto only shovel, but pick axe, hoe, dynamite, et al, for digging the deppest holes imaginable for my relentlessly foolish self. Ahh a chord you have struck, somewhere in a minor 7th inversion I would think. Obvioulsy quite well said. AT [This message has been edited by ATelamon (edited 02-10-2001).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
"Humility," he said, "needs she..." and so he put me on my knees and every doubt a breach of faith so each belief I could forsake discarded oh-so-easily... How quickly hunger turns to greed! Stoke the fire! Churn the coal! Pump the bellow's stories told Listen...ssshhh.. in keen of wind remembering the rhyme of sin, a shovel to dig hole again becoming pit, I might fall in. ============================= "Humility," he said, "needs she..." and so he put me on my knees and every doubt a breach of faith so each belief I could forsake" yer so cool ... I love the way your poetic mind works ... and your "rhymes of sin"  very cool poem me twin ... in imagery, rhyme and evoke Valentine rhyme divine  Heaven bound on wings of love, there's so much that you can rise above. I surrender heart and soul, sacrificed to a higher goal. ~DepechMode~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
please e mail me regarding the musical references...minor seventh inversion....THANK YOU....nice...serenity will sleep smiling as the sun shines today! Serious, tho, do e-mail me, am particularly interested in relating word to musical notation. [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 02-10-2001).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
JM...m'love...you caught me THINKING!!!! ACK! LOVE YA much, m'luv....you DO KNOW that Carnival is about to start, eh, thelma???? |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
quote: geez, sereneOne....this is awesome!! keep on thinking, ok? you think, i think, you write it down... works for me! |
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