»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #12
»
Phantom
| Open Poetry #12 |
|
Phantom |
|
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
|
Ashen flakes swarm in flocks to embrace the neck. Then, they vanish like she, whose tears have yet to dry on my shoulder. And looking at life in retrospect, I conclude that I’ve lost more than I meant to. The tired hand pulls the curtain to hide a cloud that has covered the sun and made the world gray. In the absence of others, one begins to doubt one’s own existence. The mirror reflects dismay. The mirror reveals less than a wall, which uncovers a shadow. Likewise, the memory feels only lightness. Like a lost moth seeking light, her shadow hovers on these barren fields which produce but whiteness. Footprints expose patches of granite. Shadows leave lasting imprints that evade the eye. The snow keeps falling. Slowly, it covers her tracks and I grieve,-- Every flake reminds me of the phantom that never sleeps. Check out my poetry here: http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
ATelamon Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up |
"Lost more than I meant to" That does sum it up quite well. |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed reading your poem...James |
||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Master~ Oh, my ... you loaded it all in this one ! Brilliantly done ... 'And looking at life in retrospect, I conclude that I’ve lost more than I meant to.' That phrase brought to mind the writings of Richard Harris. If you haven't read 'I, In The Membership Of My Days' ... you should. That was his first volume of poetry, published in 1973. You've sure packed a punch with this one, my friend. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
||
|
A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
The entire piece was outstanding, but this sentence speaks volumes.... And looking at life in retrospect, I conclude that I’ve lost more than I meant to. clapping.... May your dreams always dance to the rhythm of a lover's heartbeat... |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
all lines, all thoughts, all encompassing... well done! |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
this is superb Master. . . an excellent display of the feelings and emotions that go along with loss. . . wonderful. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Ashen flakes swarm in flocks to embrace the neck. Then, they vanish like she, whose tears have yet to dry on my shoulder. And looking at life in retrospect, I conclude that I’ve lost more than I meant to. The tired hand pulls the curtain to hide a cloud that has covered the sun and made the world gray. In the absence of others, one begins to doubt one’s own existence. The mirror reflects dismay. ================= very very cool write...the imagery in here is excellent and the emotions are written so they are felt by the reader. very well done poet sir. "And looking at life in retrospect, I conclude that I’ve lost more than I meant to." very cool line of reflection. Where the touch of the lover ends And the soul of the friend begins There's a need to be separate and a need to be one And a struggle neither wins |
||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
Excellent! I loved that last line, it delivered an emotional knockout punch of cadence! Must enjoyed reading this, my friend, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
||
|
Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Outstanding write sir....it's very obvious that you posess great poetic skills too....take care! Nathan |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
