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Open Poetry #12
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Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

0 posted 2001-02-09 01:24 AM


I was eight, thin, no weight
Had three elders, Anne, Tim, Nate
Nate was the baby before I came
Eight years my senior, never tame
Pampered and coddled, he was like Dad
Just a lazy drunken old bag
But he played lead guitar, had a band
Had a good ear, but not a good hand
He and his buds in the garage
Drunken and high, writing garbage
I played violin, earning his scorn
It became clear he wished me unborn
One afternoon, I heard him in the attic
Or the Bar, where Dad could be an addict
In peace, drunken and surly, never a tab
Bottles of whiskey turning meat into flab
I heard Nate play, his best I'd bet
Tuned my violin and made a duet
But off, discordant sound for Pop
For Nate dropped a chord and stopped
Dad got up for another, while Nate sat
And I saw Dad in his face, getting fat
Something snapped...I know it wasn't fair
But I went off on Nate, with Dad the pair
He blew me off, got sullen, then angry
When I slapped his face with "LOOK AT ME!!"
That did it, his face shut down
Leaving nothing but a thoughtful frown
I bolted, violin in hand, steps by four
Locking and bolting bathroom doors
Frame buckles, wood splinters fly
Saved by a horn beeping outside
Seems Mom and siblings went shopping
Saving me from a thwomping
So I moved past ruined door, looking about
Nate's in the garage, the lousy lout
I sneak to Anne's room, and slip outside
Mom has company and spies
Me still carrying my violin case
Asks if I can give a taste
I smile, unship, rosin and tune
Played a silly piece I called "Mayflies in June"
I look up and see the rifle bore aimed at me
Nate looking through the scope at me
A long thin ugly note from my violin
And my world explodes

*written upon waking from a VERY realistic dream*

Alicat, the Persnikitty

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most
intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Charles Darwin



© Copyright 2001 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2001-02-09 07:13 AM


Ali~
Man !  
That was such realistic phrasing of your bad dream.
The thoughts were chilling.
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Charisma
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
2 posted 2001-02-10 08:28 PM


oh my......really shivering....very realistic write.

well done

Charisma

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
3 posted 2001-02-10 09:07 PM


i remember reading this one posted in voices..

i'm glad it was only a dream!

, g


"maybe one day
we can turn and face our fears
maybe one day
we can reach out through our tears..."
-a grant

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