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Polarized

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Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


0 posted 02-08-2001 09:55 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

I have become
    dysfunctional cliche
for i have looked into the depths of heaven
   and found in that universe
a green moon
   that has magnetic flecking
tiny golden brown stars
   scattered about the surface
i was whirlpooled
   dragged inward and dizzied
not wanting to stain the landscape
     i was able to turn away
before my orbit decayed
    and i was left
stranded in the wonder
    falling back to earth
a sister moon followed
    flecked but not with gold
large and bright
   but without color
company nonetheless
   reminding me of the emptiness
on the other side of me
   and of her sister
the green moon
   of heaven


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".

© Copyright 2001 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved
Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


1 posted 02-08-2001 10:05 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

An extended metaphor well done, Jamie... This is a superb poem... I enjoyed the element of fantasy interwoven with personal emotions... Nice  one..
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


2 posted 02-08-2001 10:10 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Magical. This is one of your best Jamie!!  
Celeste
Senior Member
since 11-11-2000
Posts 608


3 posted 02-08-2001 10:31 PM       View Profile for Celeste   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Celeste

Oh wow!   Wonderful imagery!  Wonderful style!

To capture and live a moment is truly living

Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


4 posted 02-09-2001 10:30 AM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

I am so glad ya'll liked it, thanks for the kindness shown.
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 06-17-2000
Posts 5525
missouri


5 posted 02-10-2001 12:57 AM       View Profile for Paula Finn   Email Paula Finn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paula Finn

Its so good to see you again Jamie...and with such a stunning poem...beautiful imagery and colours...love it!!!
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


6 posted 02-10-2001 04:58 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Well Jamie..how y'all doing? Heh. All raght then hehehehe...



What can I say about this? It is haunting.

I have never thought of eyes as being like a universe before.

Your words really are quite beautiful.

K
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


7 posted 02-10-2001 06:28 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Prometheus~
Sure drew me in ...
Wonderfully captivating imagery.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Charisma
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Member Ascendant
since 09-30-2000
Posts 6029
lost in blue pages


8 posted 02-10-2001 06:32 PM       View Profile for Charisma   Email Charisma   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Charisma's Home Page   View IP for Charisma

love the imagery inhere.....wonderful done.

Charisma
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


9 posted 02-11-2001 11:14 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Only me - doing the Library thing...

you can have my signature to make this post more interesting:




- it was not an
unmusical sound: long, falling, half a sigh,
like wind in the wires, or a train distancing.

The Muse of Distance, A. Williamson
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


10 posted 02-12-2001 12:09 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Jamie--I think the green moon has made you swoon...this is lovely!!!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


11 posted 02-12-2001 02:01 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

and i was left
stranded in the wonder
    falling back to earth
a sister moon followed
    flecked but not with gold
large and bright
   but without color
company nonetheless
   reminding me of the emptiness
on the other side of me
   and of her sister
the green moon
   of heaven

===================
there is NOTHING cliche' here...nada...none
what there is--is excllent writing with metaphor..
and very cool imagery.
impressive write Jamie!

Where the touch of the lover ends
And the soul of the friend begins
There's a need to be separate and a need to be one
And a struggle neither wins
Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


12 posted 02-12-2001 07:32 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

I was more than happy to share this vision-- it deserves much better than I however to paint it properly....again , thanks much

as does it's inspiration

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



[This message has been edited by Prometheus (edited 02-13-2001).]
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


13 posted 06-06-2001 07:07 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

(sneaking in to say 'Bollocks'

so there.

Love you dear...heh heh heh

K )
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


14 posted 01-27-2003 12:08 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

interesting
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


15 posted 01-27-2003 04:18 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

There's something about green moons isn't there? It must be those tiny golden brown stars. They shone for me once.

This is beautiful Jamie. I don't know how I missed this.

hugs

Mee mee
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


16 posted 11-21-2003 07:01 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

just passing by again.....

remembering.

K
 
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