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Polarized
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Polarized |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven 
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I have become dysfunctional cliche for i have looked into the depths of heaven and found in that universe a green moon that has magnetic flecking tiny golden brown stars scattered about the surface i was whirlpooled dragged inward and dizzied not wanting to stain the landscape i was able to turn away before my orbit decayed and i was left stranded in the wonder falling back to earth a sister moon followed flecked but not with gold large and bright but without color company nonetheless reminding me of the emptiness on the other side of me and of her sister the green moon of heaven Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
An extended metaphor well done, Jamie... This is a superb poem... I enjoyed the element of fantasy interwoven with personal emotions... Nice one..  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Magical. This is one of your best Jamie!! |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Oh wow! Wonderful imagery! Wonderful style! To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I am so glad ya'll liked it, thanks for the kindness shown. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Its so good to see you again Jamie...and with such a stunning poem...beautiful imagery and colours...love it!!! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well Jamie..how y'all doing? Heh. All raght then hehehehe...  What can I say about this? It is haunting. I have never thought of eyes as being like a universe before. Your words really are quite beautiful.  K |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Prometheus~ Sure drew me in ... Wonderfully captivating imagery. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
love the imagery inhere.....wonderful done. Charisma |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Only me - doing the Library thing... you can have my signature to make this post more interesting: - it was not an unmusical sound: long, falling, half a sigh, like wind in the wires, or a train distancing. The Muse of Distance, A. Williamson |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Jamie--I think the green moon has made you swoon...this is lovely!!! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
and i was left stranded in the wonder falling back to earth a sister moon followed flecked but not with gold large and bright but without color company nonetheless reminding me of the emptiness on the other side of me and of her sister the green moon of heaven =================== there is NOTHING cliche' here...nada...none what there is--is excllent writing with metaphor.. and very cool imagery. impressive write Jamie! Where the touch of the lover ends And the soul of the friend begins There's a need to be separate and a need to be one And a struggle neither wins |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I was more than happy to share this vision-- it deserves much better than I however to paint it properly....again , thanks much as does it's inspiration Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". [This message has been edited by Prometheus (edited 02-13-2001).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
(sneaking in to say 'Bollocks' so there. Love you dear...heh heh heh K ) |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
interesting |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
There's something about green moons isn't there? It must be those tiny golden brown stars. They shone for me once. This is beautiful Jamie. I don't know how I missed this. hugs Mee mee |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
just passing by again..... remembering. K |
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