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Open Poetry #12
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2001-02-08 11:49 AM


Spattered blood
on the steps,
crimson evidence of
last night's pain.

Respect walked around
instead of on.

Lateforwork tried
not to think
of cold cement where
someone sat and bled,
someone,
sat and cried.



© Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2001-02-08 11:53 AM


I hope it's a big check...very interesting indeed!

Reality seldom bears the possibilities of imagination!

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

2 posted 2001-02-08 12:35 PM


another i don't feel is quite stable...but can't do any more for it...thanks you comments help it feel a little less shaky  
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2001-02-13 10:44 AM


We're all guilty of getting caught up in our own problems, sparing only a "what a shame" when evidence of worse is thrust in our path... while deep inside, the thought that "there, but for grace, go I" automatically guides our footsteps around the stains. Not one of your easier ones... but thought provoking! *S*
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2001-02-13 12:25 PM


suthern?? if anyone asks for an interpretation of my poems, can i just send them your email...you always read them just the way i meant them to be, but somehow you make them make sense, and i just write poetry...thank you my friend
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
5 posted 2001-02-13 12:32 PM


I agree with you jellybean, I could sense a powerful message that could only hit me and stun me without really understanding. Suthern certainly cleared it up. What I think though is that you need not change the poem but rather that I become more intuitive like suthern.

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

6 posted 2001-02-13 02:46 PM


VAS thank you, I know this one was sorta hard to understand, I tried several rewrites in a critique forum, but ended up back with my original.....thank you for the read
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