navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » Modal Misery
Open Poetry #12
Post A Reply Post New Topic Modal Misery Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

0 posted 2001-02-06 10:59 PM


Modal Misery

When I climb my Abalone, fretwired ladders of fixation,
I find you there,
Harmony,
Hanging double string bent,
Callous and cuticle torn,
You mimic my dorian tumblings,
Into chaos,
Cacophony,
I lose the plot,
Heart to fingertips,
Misguided,
Bamboo raps on white knuckled dexterity,
Bleeding, suffocating, scalic conformity,
Until you entice,
Lifting me,
Beyond the learning, beyond  "the dots",
Chasing the maple fear, in a wave,
Lock fits key, in minor complexity,
And we are free.

Olias

© Copyright 2001 Mick Yates - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-02-07 12:19 PM


sounds like some good guitar sounds to me, Sir....

or am I mistaken?


Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
2 posted 2001-02-07 09:13 PM


What a great use of language in this!

Corinne

OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa
3 posted 2001-02-08 01:46 PM


Sunshine,

Thanks for your reply, love guitar, hate practise, those little slices of monotony drive me crazy lol.

Regards Olias.

Corinne,

Thank you for your welcome reply I appreciate it, you are very kind.

Take care,

Olias

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

4 posted 2001-02-08 05:31 PM


well..this is great...it requires 2nd and 3rd readings...

into the library it goes.

Only thing that puts me off is the capitalising of every line...I feel it would flow more without the block effect.

What do you think?

K

OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa
5 posted 2001-02-08 10:22 PM


Severn,

Your very kind thank you for your comments and your quite right about the upper case at the beginning of every line, its a throw back from school days that I can't seem to shake and it interrupts the flow, I've just stuck a post-it onto my monitor to remind me, thanks once again.

Regards
Olias.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » Modal Misery

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary