»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #12
»
Payment for services rendered
| Open Poetry #12 |
|
Payment for services rendered |
|
|
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
|
I stopped loving you it’s hard to say when, but I can’t remember the last time I looked at you and felt my heart stir. I try to analyze the whys and wherefores of the place I lay my head to sleep each night, but delete has taken so many attempts at honest deliberation that now I hesitate to try. What is left of your ‘love’ suffocates me. So now what a fine lonely pair we make. You aren’t there for me nor me for you, and yes I know every couple of months or so, we still try, but your company only compounds my need to be away from you, and mine floats your irritation to the surface like a marshmallow in chocolate. Together we pay a mortgage but we don't live in a home. We have two beautiful children that we spend time with separately. On holidays we pretend to be a family and Friday through Monday we share a grandson; he is my excuse, the glue, that binds my wings. Or so I say, I have tried to leave so many, many times that I lost count. By hook, word or fist you keep me from freedom. I let you. Now you speak of being apart, of being together about fifty fifty. I don't trust you either way. Your want, your need-control, second to that, to service your desires with a smile. My need to be held you have broken, my desire you have turned desolate. Sexuality is now just an obsessive form of your control. But there is a price for everything taken in this life; you pay for services rendered with my hatred. [This message has been edited by jellybeans (edited 02-06-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Not a easy way to go through life at all. Very emotional write. I loved the thoughts in this one and it is easy to picture the way that the days are spent. Hope things make a turn for the better real soon. If you find yourself stranded in a storm ...then reach for my hand and we will play in the puddles together |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Jellybeans, Well you chewed up a mouth full of jellybeans on that one. The content not sweet with delight but it made a good write. well done. Sy |
||
|
Agust P Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 157 |
very well written, open and honest poem, thanks for sharing with us! AP |
||
|
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
mark, seymore, and agust, thank you for your encouragement, this one was hard to post and i was terribly unsure of even doing so, your comments touch my heart  |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
The draft you sent me was powerful... but this just blows me away! So much sadness... so little hope of things getting better... and so many lines that are sheer jewels: "we still try, but your company only compounds my need to be away from you, and mine floats your irritation to the surface like a marshmallow in chocolate." I love this! *S* The contrast of the ugliness of irritation with something we use for comfort... well done! "By hook, word or fist you keep me from freedom. I let you." So few lines pack so much history and hopelessness. And of course the ending... I have only one word: SUPERB! |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I stopped loving you it’s hard to say when, but I can’t remember the last time I looked at you and felt my heart stir. =================== What is left of your ‘love’ suffocates me. So now what a fine lonely pair we make. You aren’t there for me nor me for you, and yes I know every couple of months or so, we still try, but your company only compounds my need to be away from you, =============== powerful ... vivid ... honest ... impact ... slap of reality ... whew ... this is like reading someones diary page ... we all want to know, but dont want to get caught... and the impact of that last line...another whew! awesome write ... or should I say purge ... well done JB ... once again. take care jm Tomorrow holds only mystery And who's to say what might be But in you I've found a love so strong The sun and the moon look on in jealousy ~VH~ |
||
|
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
ok, I am almost out the door, but had to say thank you...I felt such trepidation in posting this, suthern and jm, you two touch my soul with your comments...you bring tears to my eyes...thank you so much |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
excellent jb. . . full of power and reality. . . like JM said, it's a wake-up call. . . superbly written. . . ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
JB, Such a deeply sad read. Your emotions run the gambit of every feeling, and the pain is so devastatingly real. I wish for you better days, and I hope your pain will subside. A better life is out there, my friend. Love, Elise |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
