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Open Poetry #12
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laryalee
Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352
Alberta, Canada

0 posted 2001-02-05 05:39 PM



The morning rode
on moments
summoned by the clock
while night, aghast
at such audacity, still walked.
And then the dawn,
on crested wing of solar spark,
with deadly slash
of burnished scythe
dismembered dark.

© Copyright 2001 Laryalee Fraser - All Rights Reserved
Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
1 posted 2001-02-05 06:04 PM


"crested wing of solar spark"

I like this.  Nicely done.

Poeminister

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2001-02-05 07:44 PM


I love your imagery.  Beautifully written.  

LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
3 posted 2001-02-05 07:49 PM


I agree once again with Lone Wolf...lovely imagery....wonderful poem!

Nathan

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
4 posted 2001-02-05 08:06 PM


Nice and tightly written, with clear, sharp images!

Corinne

Sunlit Soul
Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 37
Never Land
5 posted 2001-02-05 10:33 PM


What a unique way to describe it...I loved the images.  Well thought-out and executed, you have great talent!

"Every man dies. Not every man lives."
-Tim Robbins

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2001-02-06 12:41 PM


LaryALee~
What a neat image jumps to mind with a slash
of morning
across the fleeing of night.
Really enjoyed the imagery here.
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


laryalee
Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352
Alberta, Canada
7 posted 2001-02-06 09:22 PM


Thank you all - Poeminister, Lone Wolf, Nathan, Corinne, Sunlit Soul,  and Marge!
I really appreciate your comments, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Lary

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