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Open Poetry #12
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2001-02-05 03:46 PM



Gone Fishing

The sky was the color of loving eyes
and the water sparked with light like laughter
and reflected in the misty green
the brown scraggle of waist high bramble
was soft and gently swaying

I sat down in the damp earth waiting
my pole in hand a pretense
for just being still while nature spoke

A honey bee on yellow flower of mustard green
hovered close and buzzed from one to other
and the breeze caught some lake froth
and slapped it next the dry and broken stems
and like percussion softly kept the time
of twirl of earth

and even as my eyes were caught up
in the swirl of weeded depth
a duck of vibrant green flapped its wings
against the glass of calm
and sent ripples for me to open
before I could again find tranquil
graceful dance of moving lake weed

And so the dapple left the cliffs
and eased behind the rim of hill
and one lone frog clicked forth a verse
and became the leader of them all
as from across the lake they spoke
and down the ridge and filled the air
of slowly ebbing day with song

and the dove’s soft call fell down around
as a cool breath came from o’er the ridge
and within the pool reflections stilled
the water listening quiet gave
the silver slither right to pass
and leave me with this serenade



© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

1 posted 2001-02-05 04:34 PM


Martie, this is really beautiful, you have painted a beautiful picture, one which I would love to be in  

ok this line ... "hovered close and buzzed from one to other"

I just stumbled at the word "other" is it supposed to be as you have it or is it meant to be "another"?

and this line...."and slapped it next the dry and broken stems"

is there supposed to be a "to" between "next" and "the"?


Well Martie I loved your poem, such a serene picture

my favourite lines ....

"The sky was the color of loving eyes
and the water sparked with light like laughter"

"and like percussion softly kept the time
          of twirl of earth"

"a duck of vibrant green flapped its wings
          against the glass of calm"

Beautiful as always Martie  

Maree



laryalee
Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352
Alberta, Canada
2 posted 2001-02-05 05:28 PM


What an atmosphere! You've captured the essence of tranquility in a pocket of nature. How I would love the chance to sit there...but this is the next best thing!
Thank you!
Lary

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2001-02-05 05:56 PM


Just love being Martienized....this is wonderful!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2001-02-05 07:30 PM


Martie~
And with this beautiful setting...

'And so the dapple left the cliffs
and eased behind the rim of hill
and one lone frog clicked forth a verse
and became the leader of them all
as from across the lake they spoke
and down the ridge and filled the air
of slowly ebbing day with song'


...who would even care if ya' caught any fish or not !
Lovely, lovely ... LOVELY !
*Big hugs*
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-02-05 08:54 PM


The sky was the color of loving eyes
and the water sparked with light like laughter
and reflected in the misty green
the brown scraggle of waist high bramble
was soft and gently swaying
=====================
A honey bee on yellow flower of mustard green
hovered close and buzzed from one to other
and the breeze caught some lake froth
and slapped it next the dry and broken stems
and like percussion softly kept the time
of twirl of earth

and even as my eyes were caught up
in the swirl of weeded depth
a duck of vibrant green flapped its wings
against the glass of calm
and sent ripples for me to open
before I could again find tranquil
graceful dance of moving lake weed
====================
and the dove’s soft call fell down around
as a cool breath came from o’er the ridge
and within the pool reflections stilled
the water listening quiet gave
the silver slither right to pass
and leave me with this serenade
==================
and now ... we too ... have "gone fishing"...
and we didnt even have to bait our own hooks  
and now I must go find me sunglasses ...
for I am on IMAGERY OVERLOAD!!

Could you have put one more single detail or image in here and the whole thread not explode into rainbow confetti????
I THINK NOT   
way...way KEWL my poet of vision...
so..did ya catch me a fillet o fish sandwich?lol



Tomorrow holds only mystery
And who's to say what might be
But in you I've found a love so strong
The sun and the moon look on in jealousy
~VH~

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
6 posted 2001-02-05 08:57 PM


wow your visuals in just a few words take up oodles of my pathetic poems woohoo awesome work
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

7 posted 2001-02-05 09:15 PM


A lovely serenade, Martie!! I think I'll go fishing too!!  
Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
8 posted 2001-02-05 09:43 PM


Martie, your writing fascinates me because a single line doesn’t stick to the reader… the whole verse sings… and that is a rare, rare gift to have: power through entirety.

This makes me sooooooo homesick, I want my pond, and my pole, and my hammock, and my giant porch made out of tree trunks... and lightening bugs.. OH! I MISS them! I want the sunset on the water and the skeeters in my ear and the cows grazing by the blackberry bushes. Oh geesh, gave away my secret, I'm a rancher's daughter at heart  ...

(well maybe walt knew that, along with various, other, more criminal secrets  ).

*sigh* Martie. I love reading you.

~Beth

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
9 posted 2001-02-05 09:49 PM


As always, your imagery is full of color and life, reminding us of a world waiting to be appreciated.


Corinne

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2001-02-05 11:14 PM


Maree--Thank you so much, hon, for giving me such a wonderful reply.  You are right about the English...(blush), and I wish you had been here too, next time you're in town...okay?   Promise?

lary--thank you so much for being there in the poem...that was what I hoped for.

Karilea--Shall I send you a bottle?..

Marge--I didn't catch anything, but Taylor did...we had lovely fresh bass for dinner.  

Janet--Overload...oh no...I hope not...I've been trying to cut down, honest...but this poem is about not fishing...so what was I to do.  We ate all the fish...how about next time?

Walt--Your poetry is not pathetic...far from it...and mine is maybe too much...maybe you can help me fine the middle.

Denise--The weather here has been so beautiful...80 degrees...just like spring...come on over.

Elizabeth--You reply really made me smile...thank you so much for saying such nice things!

Corinne--and you always do...your poetry tells me so.

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
11 posted 2001-02-06 11:17 AM


I'm with Marge on this one (happensd a lot lately   ) such a lovely scene - I'd be content to be there - Pole or no Pole
BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
12 posted 2001-02-06 03:47 PM


What a beautiful place you have taken me to this cold, snowy afternoon Martie.  I am just in awe of your wonderful poetry.  Bonnie
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
13 posted 2001-02-09 06:30 AM


Serenade on my friend.  This was outstanding from the word go (or would that Gone from your title)   I am sorry it took so long for me to reply but cowboy has been a bit tied up these days.  In any case, I would gladly go fishing with you any day to not catch fish but just sit and listen and learn.

If you find yourself stranded in a storm
...then reach for my hand and we will play in the puddles together

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