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Open Poetry #12
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- Jack In The Box -
| Open Poetry #12 |
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- Jack In The Box - |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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Jack In The Box Be my god, be my saviour, swallow my essence, taste it's flavour, turn the handle in slow embrace, call me, tease me, as you pick up the pace, you have the power, use me for your pleasure, I am your property, your little treasure, wind me up, then wind me down I'm at your service, your cheerful clown, stir my emotions, be my engineer, the top now opens, my destiny is clear, I spring to the rhythm from the deep hole of my home, rising to you, my master, the only friend I've ever known ~*~ Blinded by the long forgotten light I am possessed by you in feverish flight, popping forth with dust covered locks I am your slave, your jack in the box, I'll bring you laughter, I must abide I shall smile, inner torment I'll hide, music shall play and I will dance, my innocent exuberance shall entrance, I'll do as you please, I'll entertain for fifteen minutes of cruel fame, I'll jump in the air of bitter peace relieving your boredom in shadowed release, I'll swirl, I'll shine while you hover near, there is no respect, you have only my fear, freedom is graced, until it is no more, all my dreams churn to the floor, my faith, my hopes cannot be whole while under the spell of your control, meek and mild, your poetry in motion, as I bow down in false devotion, swaying, ascending to a fool's lullaby, you own my soul - I mourn the question why? ~*~ When you grow tired of me, as you always do, you close the lid, caging me with walls of blackest hue, I bid thee farewall as my tears turn to flood, I've signed on the dotted line with lonely heart's blood, you flickered a spark, then forced me back into darkness, you've stolen my freedom to trap my uniqueness, the way a rabbit is conquered, then devoured by a fox, I am your sacrifice, your jack in the box, I'm at your service, your ever-smiling clown a captive, to wear this jester's crown, your wind-up doll, a manufactured toy I now realize that a moment of joy is just an occasional act of delusion, love remains the unattainable illusion in this neverending drama of emptiness and pain with no chance of escape from this box of shame *By Melissa Honeybee*  "All around the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasel, the monkey thought 'twas all in fun, Pop! Goes the weasel"  The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams ~Melissa P. Monette~ [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 02-05-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Intersting twist on a child's play toy. I hope you break free from this. Nobody should be anyone's jack in the box. Joy |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
MELISSA? I REALLY REALLY LIKED THIS....loved your metaphors and I could so relate...one of your best! |
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laryalee Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352Alberta, Canada |
This is great, Melissa! Exuding panic and despair....leaves itself open to interpretation, especially with that dotted line - could be marriage, could be an actress... Enjoyed! Lary |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Melissa~ wow!...this is one of your deepest writes by far...and one of my most treasured and favorites. the emotion in this just jumps off the page. the hurt and the confusion show clearly. i pray that things get better for you. you are in my thoughts friend. take care. ~amy~  "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
Melissa.......if you are the jack in the box.....lift your own lid........helen |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Excellent Melissa. . . one of your best. . . now, it's time to snip the spring and bounce right out. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Joy, Serenity, Laryalee, Amy, 1slick_lady, and Sven~ Thank you all so much for reading this personal piece and for your honest replies! Laryalee I really love your intepretation of my poem, you're very astute. Although this poem is about me - in a sense, it could also be dedicated to my mom's relationship with my father. Perhaps someday the strings will be snipped off, I just have to find those darn scissors Take care, Melissa~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Blinded by the long forgotten light I am possessed by you in feverish flight, popping forth with dust covered locks I am your slave, your jack in the box, I'll bring you laughter, I must abide I shall smile, inner torment I'll hide, music shall play and I will dance, my innocent exuberance shall entrance, I'll do as you please, I'll entertain for fifteen minutes of cruel fame, ====================== finally got in to see this .... outstandnig use of metaphor here Melis, unique and creative perspective as well... and as always you express your angst and emotions with stark and vivid imagery, impact and depth, very well written and conceived. glad I didnt miss this ... take care sweet poet jm Tomorrow holds only mystery And who's to say what might be But in you I've found a love so strong The sun and the moon look on in jealousy ~VH~ |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
very very stunning...outstanding work from your hand.....really loved this one. Charisma |
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athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Melissa, WOW! This is so intensly real, and your imagery is magical. I can relate to all your words. You are an incredible writer! Elise |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
'I now realize that a moment of joy is just an occasional act of delusion, love remains the unattainable illusion...' I wish I'd read this long ago--though I probably wouldn't have understood or believed it then. Thank you. Incredible. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Melissa, this is VERY impressive writing. The idea is good and, to make such a long poem out of that thought and still keep it as riveting as you have is very good ability indeed...you did a wonderful job here |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Don't those things come with a trap door to escape the darkness with? Wonderful write from you. Who needs someone turning the crank in the wrong direction anyway........hop on out and stuff them in the darkness for awhile. Loved the read and the heavy use of metaphors in this one. Kept me enthralled the whole time. If you find yourself stranded in a storm ...then reach for my hand and we will play in the puddles together |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Melissa, I really enjoyed this, the metaphors were very interesting, and the subject painful and familiar. Take care Sandra |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
I just don't know where to start or who to thank first, but, wow, what replies! You all have made me  You have given me high compliments and I thank you, glad that you could enjoy my poem~Take care, Melissa~ |
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Chelsea~ Member
since 2001-02-09
Posts 260Ontario, CANADA |
Oh my, this is a unique and thoroughly powerful take on that famous "jack." This gripped me, that poor toy, but you certainly know how to express yourself well |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Very intense and gripping... a great look at giving someone complete control. Well done! |
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