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Open Poetry #12
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-02-02 02:29 AM


tiny, beating things of grace
neverending finite space
delicate, as fine spun lace--
this is my heart in think of you.

as the echo ever dwells
longing that belongs to hell
release of you--I wish you well
and yearn you live...and then die too.

Set me free! Let me live...
a beating heart not yours to give
another's wish for me, forgive--
I do not wish to die like this.

Love me! with a heartbeat wild...
in honesty of loving child
I do not want a love that's mild--
sera me, unto my soul.

Oh, but I would grant you breath
another gasp to stave of death
in ponder of what I have left-
I fear that I grow cold.

So warm me now in sweet embrace,
let me feel your hands in trace
my beating heart--in this-our place...
take me ever, everhome.

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-02-02 02:35 AM


Oh Im so digging this...
and Im never gonna get to bed with all the awesome poetry popping up...
this is way cool you two...
your styles melded in perfect unison
love the rhyming phrases.
way cool me girlies...way  

If my slight Muse do please these curious days ...
The pain be mine ...
but thine shall be the praise.

~Shakespeare~


doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
2 posted 2001-02-03 12:32 PM


incredibly rich in cadence, meter, emotion and unity.... i loved it!
ya'll are quite a team, y'know that??? fabulous!

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2001-02-03 03:29 PM


*sigh*.....wish this was written by me...or FOR me... *sigh*...I simply love it.

Hmm...constructive critiques? Ok..always start with a solid concrete foundation slab and be sure your footings are secured..OH.. I thought it said construction critiques! LOL

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
4 posted 2001-02-04 12:01 PM


It is an honour and a pleasure to write with you and I hope to be able to do more in the future...Thanks and HUGS
Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
5 posted 2001-02-04 12:09 PM


K and Paula, this is like new dialect...

tiny, beating things of grace
~
this is my heart in think of you.
~
sera me, unto my soul.
~
let me feel your hands in trace


.. so soft I can't repeat the words that come to mind. Which is a true pity, because they whisper wonders. One word I'll steal from english: exquisite.
Janet may not get to sleep, but I swear, this will creep in my dreams tonight.

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
6 posted 2001-02-04 03:04 AM


Fabulous!!!

" I have seen without perceiving
I have been another man
Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am"....Dweller on the Threshold,

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2001-02-04 04:10 AM


Much grat to all muchly...but Paula? THANK YOU.

Was fun, and I DO thank you...you, honor ME, and I thank you much!!!!  Was great fun,
let's do it again soon?  HUGS

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
8 posted 2001-02-04 01:53 PM


Loud applause...standing ovation...more, we must have more..
Truly a fantastic combination.
Sandra

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