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Open Poetry #12
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Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597


0 posted 2001-02-02 12:20 PM


(scribbled on my "lifepad" while at a "poetry craft" session today with John Calvin Rezmerski . . . and scanning the crowd far and near)


focused on shadow
hidden beneath her long brown
The dream girl again


all the young women
so near yet so out of touch
My age relative


she writes long blue notes
and doodles some inbetween
Her zippered notebook


/:^)==
=#==

© Copyright 2001 Krawdad - All Rights Reserved
jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
1 posted 2001-02-02 12:35 PM


I definately can relate to the third one. I believe these are called Senryus because they are not about nature. But nevertheless, they are more than special. Thanks for the reads.

-Jeremy Raulinaitis

"I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.)

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
2 posted 2001-02-02 12:43 PM


Amateur you may be but these are great...they are senyrus instead of haikus...LOL Marge was kind enough to tell me the difference...and they are an addicting way to write...more please
kcsgrandma
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522
Presque Isle, ME
3 posted 2001-02-02 01:20 AM


You have observed well. And these are addicting.  Keep  them coming.

To love another person is to see the face of God.
- Les Miserables

Marilyn

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

4 posted 2001-02-02 01:40 AM


Thanks for visiting, jeremy, Paula & Marilyn.
I spent a year focusing on the haiku/senryu form almost to the exclusion of anything else and I think I warped my brain a bit.  I find myself thinking in this form now.  Eerie sometimes.

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
5 posted 2001-02-02 02:17 AM


Like them very much, Krawdad, they are senyrus, but they're certainly about human nature.  Good ones, good snapshots.
2dalimit
Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228
Mississippi coast
6 posted 2001-02-02 06:41 AM


The image is "johnny on the spot"
Melton
Good job

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
7 posted 2001-02-02 07:12 AM


Krawdad,
I'll bet even you dreams are poetic, loved these.
write on
Kethry


Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.



Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
8 posted 2001-02-04 11:13 AM


loved reading these senryu's......its a great form to right.

take care
Charisma

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

9 posted 2001-02-04 09:12 PM


VAS, 2dalimit, Kethry, Charisma,
Glad you enjoyed these "little ones".  They are great fun to do.  I think I like them because they are so visual and yet something more than that and in such little space, you've got to be brutally honest.
Kraw'

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

10 posted 2001-02-15 12:04 PM


just testing folder color function
(haven't see anything but "manila" so far)

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