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He Was Five
| Open Poetry #12 |
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He Was Five |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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He Was Five He was five - and walked like I do. Circling a world and overly aware. He questioned authority. He too had known more than he should. Or more than would serve his health. The sun, in days, had sung for him. While he wandered across land explaining things to me. - Centuries later. God,...we could have danced! We could have fallen to the ground in laughter. We could have held hands in front of that train. (Interlocked our fingers and held our breath.) I scream for him. He was five. He equated love for some sticky substance and wondered about death. But like me, he swallowed why and dared life to take him all the way. Sometimes, when he found humor in the most absurd things - I understood. I laughed. I held my mouth with both hands and tried to force it back. (spit and sounds) Like some kind of animal. I was evil. In finding the humor. I was trapped by his aura. How could we have been innocent if we had power (at our age) and used threats? He knew secrets, like me, 'cept I'm still here. And listening all the same. I was never really there when we tossed life into the air. In fields. Scattering our chances. We heard fear - but rolled down that prickly hill anyway. We could have met at the bottom. Of life. Of yesterday too. We could have been five again. We could have run from underneath them and found all the answers we cried for. We could have made five seem like the ocean or maybe a song from inside my head. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Bravo, superb, absolutely superb! There are so many lines that nearly blew me away. My favorite, which after reading the entire piece is actually harder to choose, but this one is like a first love: "But like me, he swallowed why" there are many that are beautiful, poignant, but this one is so unique to me that I love it! Some things we just have to decide to swallow, don't we. May I take a copy of this? So I might savor it in the future? Virginia |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sometimes, when he found humor in the most absurd things - I understood. I laughed. I held my mouth with both hands and tried to force it back. (spit and sounds) Like some kind of animal. I was evil. In finding the humor. I was trapped by his aura. How could we have been innocent if we had power (at our age) and used threats? He knew secrets, like me, 'cept I'm still here. And listening all the same. I was never really there when we tossed life into the air. In fields. Scattering our chances. =========================== Spitfire... this takes my words and gave me a spine shiver .. this is powerful deep writing ... the impact and imagery of this piece is very impressive ... so is the poet ... very very cool write my friend..very cool indeed. If my slight Muse do please these curious days ... The pain be mine ... but thine shall be the praise. ~Shakespeare~ |
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Agust P Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 157 |
beautiful, excellent writing, I loved it, AP |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Fire, I have to agree with Janet Marie, what powerful images t\you evoked in this poem. write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
SpitFire--This poem pulled the shivers of memory from youth...so well done, my friend..I always enjoy your poems. More!! |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
outstanding......excellent piece that brings back the memory of youth... love the many wonderful lines inside, truly loved and enjoyed it. Charisma |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Hey Spit Your Fire is always burning bright This one lights a path to youth Loved it  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You've outdown yourself here. This is so rich with memory...absoutely beautiful my lady! I go to re read now...love it!!! |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Virginia, Janet Marie, Agust P, Kethry, Martie, Charisma, Insect and Serenity, you have ALL made my heart smile,...by reading and feeling, and leaving your words. Thank you, truly.  . *Peace your way. |
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