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Open Poetry #12
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Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton

0 posted 2001-01-31 02:16 PM


I think is easily one of my favorite and best poems...I think it's because I'm taking it back to my African roots in this one......which is something I've shamefully ignored in my poetry....man, I feel so good about the way I revised it cause now, it's even better...I hope y'll enjoy it!


Last night, was a perfect night for astronomy
because, not a darn thing was on T.V
so, I took out my telescope,
to view the heavenly globe.

I saw the planet Saturn
and saw stars change patterns.
I saw the red planet mars
and saw comets race like cars.

From distant and afar,
I saw a big, black star.
It shined so bright in the sky,
that tears fell from my eyes.

It was black like a bat,
It was black like a cat,
It was black like a big, black bear,
It was black like veil christians wear.

It was black like a solar eclipse in the sky,
It was black like the pupil in my eye,
It was black like the bottom of a well,
It was black like a place called hell.

It was blacker than a watermelon seed,
It was blacker than the gums in my teeth,
It was blacker than the naps in my hair,
It was blacker than Africa's bloody tears.

The black star's design was divine and intimate,
and her beauty in the sky shined infinite.
It's the black star vision, a five-side dimension,
a reminder of my people's prominence of ascension.

Last night was so glorious, I felt notorious,
like my ancestrial warriors, who remain victoroius
as the stars stayed park like Noah's ark,
while the Ms.Lunar, traced her smiling mark.

Suddenly, the black star balloned
and changed into a big black cacoon.
Then it formed into a big, black panther
and said that, "a revolution was the answer".

True indeed, a revolution was the answer
cause evil, has plagued my people, like cancer.





© Copyright 2001 Nate Dogg - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2001-01-31 02:23 PM


"From distant and afar,
I saw a big, black star.
It shined so bright in the sky,
that tears fell from my eyes."
Loved these passages and the feelings they evoked...James

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

2 posted 2001-01-31 03:46 PM


Amazing reflections on your culture, my friend. It's nice to see people get back to their roots. Thanks for sharing.

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav



inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
3 posted 2001-01-31 03:53 PM


Strange how when we look up at the stars it brings us down to earth to look within ourselves.
"True indeed, a revolution was the answer cause evil, has plagued my people, like cancer."
It is time for someone to take the lead and help. You have made a start now hopefully others will follow.


Charisma
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
4 posted 2001-01-31 03:55 PM


*applause* what a wonderful way to return to your roots, I read your words and they warm my heart as I know how important it is to know who you are....fabulous write my friend.

((hugs))
Charisma

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2001-01-31 04:41 PM


Nate, my friend~
Wonderful to see the seeds of your heritage take root~
A touching render of pride, as each of us should have ...
It is the individuals who make up the whole of our universe.

Each of us have 'roots' to till ...
you've done yours well.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2001-01-31 04:57 PM


It was blacker than Africa's bloody tears.

The black star's design was divine and intimate,
and her beauty in the sky shined infinite.
It's the black star vision, a five-side dimension,
a reminder of my people's prominence of ascension.

Last night was so glorious, I felt notorious,
like my ancestrial warriors, who remain victoroius
as the stars stayed park like Noah's ark,
while the Ms.Lunar, traced her smiling mark.

Suddenly, the black star balloned
and changed into a big black cacoon.
Then it formed into a big, black panther
and said that, "a revolution was the answer".

True indeed, a revolution was the answer
cause evil, has plagued my people, like cancer.
======================

WOW!!!!!
Nate ..this is very very cool ...
awesome imagery and use of comparisons
and coolest of all is the message and the
spirit and truths you captured..
perfect tribute to your heritage.
like I said...waaaay cool  


If my slight Muse do please these curious days ...
The pain be mine ...
but thine shall be the praise.

~Shakespeare~


Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2001-01-31 07:12 PM


excellent Nate!!!

good job with this one. . . it's amazing what we can find when we reach deep. . . let's see more!!!  

----------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
8 posted 2001-01-31 07:46 PM


Wonderful!  I love the images that went flying through my mind.  A very strong and stunning piece.  thank you so much!

"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today"
~Broadway Musical RENT~

*Cassandra Roseen*


Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
9 posted 2001-02-01 02:18 AM


Wow,I wanna thank all who've posted a reply about my poem...
I wanna thank Jimmy for your wonderful comments.
I wanna thank Lovebug for the amazing...I don't get too much of those.
I wanna thank inot for quoting me..I love it when someone does that...it lets me know that they were truly reading what I wrote.
I wanna thank Marge my friend for her wonderful comments.
I wanna thank Charisma, for her wonderful comments,
I wanna thank Janet, for always giving me the ultimate compliments.
I wanna thank my buddy Sven, for his nice comments.
Last but not least, I wanna thank Dawn Eclipse for her wonderful comments.

Nathan

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
10 posted 2001-02-01 02:24 AM


"The black star's design was divine and intimate,
and her beauty in the sky shined infinite."


I just love the way this sounds........the way it feels.......excellent!   -SEA

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
11 posted 2001-02-01 01:58 PM


Thank you Sea, for your wonderful comments!

Nathan

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

12 posted 2001-02-05 01:08 PM


I enjoy poems about the heavens....

"I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis



Secret Whisper
Member
since 2001-01-25
Posts 298
Through the Looking Glass
13 posted 2001-02-05 02:56 PM


What beatiful images of the heavens!

"The black star's design was divine and intimate,
and her beauty in the sky shined infinite.
It's the black star vision, a five-side dimension,
a reminder of my people's prominence of ascension."

How beautiful!
My compliments.

~Alison~


"Close your eyes, and you'll see."

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
14 posted 2001-02-05 09:03 PM


Thank you Kathleen and Secret Whisper, for your wonderful comments and diggin back to read my poem.

Nathan

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