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Passions in Poetry

i wonder why i write(my last post)

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kaile
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since 02-06-2000
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singapore


0 posted 01-31-2001 03:44 AM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for kaile

pen to paper,
hands to screen,
emotions overwhelming,
like splinters stabbing

a sheltered boy
attempts to make sense
of his contradictory self
and the towering confusing world,

pours himself in verse,
struggling to come to terms
with whatever need be,
to accept, to express faith,
to draw strength and vitality from his words,
to love himself unconditionally

he finds himself
eager to post,
famished for positive feedback
from the world
and can't help wondering:

Am I writing to find myself
or am i writing to have my ego bloated
by inflating praise?

Have i evolved to be a poet
who remains untrue to himself,
writing words that are bound
to please the audience?

he decides
enough is enough,
he drops his pen(not without exasperation),
frees his hands,
says sayonara to his muse(not without grief),
and wanders off into the dusk,
embarking on a journey
to find his uncorrupted self,
in a place where he breathes

**************************************************

Hi Passions,
  
   i couldnt bear to leave without a formal departure so i hope you guys can excuse my behaviour as such...  

   as mentioned, i am growing weary of writing..i love the written word but i think i am growing to be someone who finishes writing something in fifteen minutes and just post, irregardless of the quality of the writing.....i guess i feel this strong urge to write(and write continuously) so as to obtain feedback from you people constantly...

   i wonder if this "new" me is healthy and i have decided to take a step back from writing, not because i dislike anything about here but because i wonder if my motives for writing are appropriate...

    i thank you guys for your constant encouragement and support,(seriously i never thought i would become a better person during my stay here), apologise for all the reading that i never did and wish you guys all the best in life, in passions and elsewhere...

    kcs, looks like i am not going to attempt the sonnet for some time...but i will save your email and refer to it from time to time and hopefully will write something worthy and deserving in the future....

    thank you and take care  




[This message has been edited by kaile (edited 01-31-2001).]
© Copyright 2001 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
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since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


1 posted 01-31-2001 04:58 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

I read and I understand...James
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


2 posted 01-31-2001 08:36 AM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

This is honest but grieves me because I know how you feel.  Please continue to write and know that a person's perogative is to CHANGE THEIR MIND!!!!  And remember, you may reach just that one person and make all the difference, but I also, understand where you're coming from.  Best to you.

Kathleen






[This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 01-31-2001).]
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


3 posted 01-31-2001 08:39 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Everyone has a reason to pen, or not to pen.  You will find your fortune/future in one way or another...

and if you find it here, you will also find open arms...

God bless.
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


4 posted 01-31-2001 08:55 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

We'll be here if you ever need to peek in from time to time. Take care!  
BloomingRose
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since 08-09-2000
Posts 3124
Florida


5 posted 01-31-2001 09:34 AM       View Profile for BloomingRose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BloomingRose

Your honesty makes one think.
To thine own self be true. I wish you the best.
Deb
jellybeans
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since 10-13-2000
Posts 2347


6 posted 01-31-2001 09:38 AM       View Profile for jellybeans   Email jellybeans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jellybeans

the forums are a fertile field to a mistake in writing just as you describe, but my suggestion, don't stop writing, writing is good just as your poems says, just disicpline yourself to let them sit for a time and make sure you and your muse are happy with it, and then when you post it, if the audience likes or doesn't, won't matter, it will sit well within you  
inot2B
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since 09-18-2000
Posts 2272
Alabama


7 posted 01-31-2001 09:52 AM       View Profile for inot2B   Email inot2B   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for inot2B

When you find your true self come back and let us know how you've grown. Remember this place changes tomorrow (I guess) so look and find us. GOOD LUCK
Sven
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


8 posted 01-31-2001 01:05 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

go out and seek my friend. . . for that is the only way to find. . .

and we will leave the light on for you. . . thank you for all your words. . . including these. . .  

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


9 posted 01-31-2001 02:28 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

kaile....I can't say that I don't understand, but I do love your work...and you expressed the same conflicting emotions I've had before very well....I also, hope you will grace us again with your work on occasion, or at the least? e mail them to me!
You will be missed.
Nate Dogg
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since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


10 posted 01-31-2001 03:25 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Wow, I feel the same way you do and sometimes I feel like quitting myself cause of writing blocks that lasts for months...now I rarely write a poem now....but deep down, I know I love to write and I wanna publish a book and be an accomplished songwriter...anyways, excellent piece and I wish you wasn't leaving ....peace!

Nathan
Charisma
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lost in blue pages


11 posted 01-31-2001 03:46 PM       View Profile for Charisma   Email Charisma   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Charisma's Home Page   View IP for Charisma

I echoes Nate....wish that you weren't leaving....but if so...I wish you will come back soon and I truly wish you the best for the future...

Take care

((warm hugs))
Charism
JOY 14
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since 09-22-1999
Posts 1447
Wisconsin USA


12 posted 01-31-2001 06:31 PM       View Profile for JOY 14   Email JOY 14   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JOY 14's Home Page   View IP for JOY 14

Just want to wish you luck, Kaile. I truly hope you find what you're looking for.
I sometimes wonder too if my poems are lacking something but I continue to write for many reasons. And post for the encouragment and also the hope that I might brighten someone's day or make their life better in any way.
Take care of yourself.

Joy
ellie LeJeune
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since 01-10-2000
Posts 4176
King of Prussia, PA USA


13 posted 01-31-2001 08:11 PM       View Profile for ellie LeJeune   Email ellie LeJeune   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ellie LeJeune

Dear Kaile; I will miss you terribly! I know of which you speak, i went through a brief period when I too felt i was posting just for the praise and sat back and re-evaluated this and put my head back on straight and now I write what is in my soul and heart only for me. Hope this helps. love, ellie

A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails.
kaile
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singapore


14 posted 01-31-2001 10:13 PM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

thank you all...

i dont really know what to say but perhaps i will continue to read and respond and refrain from posting any of my own until i am satisfied with a piece?

perhaps it is not up to me to say whether i will give up my writing...perhaps perfecting this craft is a life-long destiny?....

thank you again for all your kind words and warm wishes....

[This message has been edited by kaile (edited 01-31-2001).]
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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15 posted 01-31-2001 10:29 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Yes, Kaile, I believe it is a life long destiny. Don't you be going anywhere, ya hear?  

Denise
Ethan Halo
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since 04-28-2000
Posts 820
on the roof again


16 posted 01-31-2001 10:30 PM       View Profile for Ethan Halo   Email Ethan Halo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ethan Halo's Home Page   View IP for Ethan Halo

i know what your sayin, clyde. i had to leave to, although for different reasons. i am only a sporadic watcher now...

as far as self-discovery, go to a book store and find a small book called "The Cube". you'll learn a whole lot more than you'll want, pallie. but it'll help. just get the book and trust.

hope ya find what ya need, man. may luck be a lady to ya.

You gotta love livin, cause dyin's a pain in the ass.
kcsgrandma
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since 09-24-2000
Posts 1526
Presque Isle, ME


17 posted 02-01-2001 12:55 AM       View Profile for kcsgrandma   Email kcsgrandma   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit kcsgrandma's Home Page   View IP for kcsgrandma

Kaile, in the short time I've been here, you have been an encouraging friend to me, and I hate to see you go, but I too understand some of your reasoning.  Do hold onto the e-mail, and when you're ready to try a sonnet, even if you don't post it here, e-mail it to me.  I would love to see what you do with it.  And please do come back and see us from time to time.  You will be missed.  hugs

To love another person is to see the face of God.
- Les Miserables

Marilyn
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 11-16-2000
Posts 7440
Oregon


18 posted 02-01-2001 01:13 AM       View Profile for VAS   Email VAS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for VAS

I read your words and I too understand and can even identify with some of those feelings.  However, to answer the question of your title...though you likely meant it rhetorically, you write because you are alive and you become more alive as you write.  So keep writing even it you don't share with us for awhile.  Someday you will write something that you know the world must see.  You will know you cannot hide it under a bushel for it will not be meant for thee alone.

God bless you kaile, pick up that pen and treat it with tender care.  It indwells your soul in the ink that it holds.
kaile
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since 02-06-2000
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singapore


19 posted 02-01-2001 02:04 AM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

i am really thankful for all your replies...i feel lucky and honoured that you people have generously  shared with me your philosophies about writing....

thank you

[This message has been edited by kaile (edited 02-01-2001).]
Rosebud1229
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since 04-05-2000
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North Carolina


20 posted 02-06-2001 12:19 PM       View Profile for Rosebud1229   Email Rosebud1229   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rosebud1229

Kaile, there is not a one of us, I know I indeed feel the same way at times, and I have found that to step back and take a rest is often the best way of reminding myself why I do write but you have penned it perfectly here, for all these reasons we write, it opens our hearts, it reminds us life is general, so often it reminds us that were not the only one that feels the exact same way, never stop writing just rest your mind, you'll find afterwards, a calmness like after a storm, from this poem, I can tell it's a gift in you.
passing shadows
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since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


21 posted 02-12-2005 02:50 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

glad this wasn't your last
 
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