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Open Poetry #12
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i wonder why i write(my last post)
| Open Poetry #12 |
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i wonder why i write(my last post) |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore 
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pen to paper, hands to screen, emotions overwhelming, like splinters stabbing a sheltered boy attempts to make sense of his contradictory self and the towering confusing world, pours himself in verse, struggling to come to terms with whatever need be, to accept, to express faith, to draw strength and vitality from his words, to love himself unconditionally he finds himself eager to post, famished for positive feedback from the world and can't help wondering: Am I writing to find myself or am i writing to have my ego bloated by inflating praise? Have i evolved to be a poet who remains untrue to himself, writing words that are bound to please the audience? he decides enough is enough, he drops his pen(not without exasperation), frees his hands, says sayonara to his muse(not without grief), and wanders off into the dusk, embarking on a journey to find his uncorrupted self, in a place where he breathes ************************************************** Hi Passions, i couldnt bear to leave without a formal departure so i hope you guys can excuse my behaviour as such...  as mentioned, i am growing weary of writing..i love the written word but i think i am growing to be someone who finishes writing something in fifteen minutes and just post, irregardless of the quality of the writing.....i guess i feel this strong urge to write(and write continuously) so as to obtain feedback from you people constantly... i wonder if this "new" me is healthy and i have decided to take a step back from writing, not because i dislike anything about here but because i wonder if my motives for writing are appropriate... i thank you guys for your constant encouragement and support,(seriously i never thought i would become a better person during my stay here), apologise for all the reading that i never did and wish you guys all the best in life, in passions and elsewhere... kcs, looks like i am not going to attempt the sonnet for some time...but i will save your email and refer to it from time to time and hopefully will write something worthy and deserving in the future.... thank you and take care  [This message has been edited by kaile (edited 01-31-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I read and I understand...James |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is honest but grieves me because I know how you feel. Please continue to write and know that a person's perogative is to CHANGE THEIR MIND!!!! And remember, you may reach just that one person and make all the difference, but I also, understand where you're coming from. Best to you.< !signature--> Kathleen [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 01-31-2001).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Everyone has a reason to pen, or not to pen. You will find your fortune/future in one way or another... and if you find it here, you will also find open arms... God bless. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
We'll be here if you ever need to peek in from time to time. Take care!  |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Your honesty makes one think. To thine own self be true. I wish you the best. Deb |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
the forums are a fertile field to a mistake in writing just as you describe, but my suggestion, don't stop writing, writing is good just as your poems says, just disicpline yourself to let them sit for a time and make sure you and your muse are happy with it, and then when you post it, if the audience likes or doesn't, won't matter, it will sit well within you |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
When you find your true self come back and let us know how you've grown. Remember this place changes tomorrow (I guess) so look and find us. GOOD LUCK |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
go out and seek my friend. . . for that is the only way to find. . . and we will leave the light on for you. . . thank you for all your words. . . including these. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
kaile....I can't say that I don't understand, but I do love your work...and you expressed the same conflicting emotions I've had before very well....I also, hope you will grace us again with your work on occasion, or at the least? e mail them to me! You will be missed. |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Wow, I feel the same way you do and sometimes I feel like quitting myself cause of writing blocks that lasts for months...now I rarely write a poem now....but deep down, I know I love to write and I wanna publish a book and be an accomplished songwriter...anyways, excellent piece and I wish you wasn't leaving ....peace! Nathan |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
I echoes Nate....wish that you weren't leaving....but if so...I wish you will come back soon and I truly wish you the best for the future... Take care ((warm hugs)) Charism |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Just want to wish you luck, Kaile. I truly hope you find what you're looking for. I sometimes wonder too if my poems are lacking something but I continue to write for many reasons. And post for the encouragment and also the hope that I might brighten someone's day or make their life better in any way. Take care of yourself. Joy |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Dear Kaile; I will miss you terribly! I know of which you speak, i went through a brief period when I too felt i was posting just for the praise and sat back and re-evaluated this and put my head back on straight and now I write what is in my soul and heart only for me. Hope this helps. love, ellie A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
thank you all... i dont really know what to say but perhaps i will continue to read and respond and refrain from posting any of my own until i am satisfied with a piece? perhaps it is not up to me to say whether i will give up my writing...perhaps perfecting this craft is a life-long destiny?.... thank you again for all your kind words and warm wishes....  [This message has been edited by kaile (edited 01-31-2001).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Yes, Kaile, I believe it is a life long destiny. Don't you be going anywhere, ya hear? Denise |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
i know what your sayin, clyde. i had to leave to, although for different reasons. i am only a sporadic watcher now... as far as self-discovery, go to a book store and find a small book called "The Cube". you'll learn a whole lot more than you'll want, pallie. but it'll help. just get the book and trust. hope ya find what ya need, man. may luck be a lady to ya. You gotta love livin, cause dyin's a pain in the ass. |
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kcsgrandma Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522Presque Isle, ME |
Kaile, in the short time I've been here, you have been an encouraging friend to me, and I hate to see you go, but I too understand some of your reasoning. Do hold onto the e-mail, and when you're ready to try a sonnet, even if you don't post it here, e-mail it to me. I would love to see what you do with it. And please do come back and see us from time to time. You will be missed. hugs To love another person is to see the face of God. - Les Miserables Marilyn |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I read your words and I too understand and can even identify with some of those feelings. However, to answer the question of your title...though you likely meant it rhetorically, you write because you are alive and you become more alive as you write. So keep writing even it you don't share with us for awhile. Someday you will write something that you know the world must see. You will know you cannot hide it under a bushel for it will not be meant for thee alone. God bless you kaile, pick up that pen and treat it with tender care. It indwells your soul in the ink that it holds. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i am really thankful for all your replies...i feel lucky and honoured that you people have generously shared with me your philosophies about writing.... thank you [This message has been edited by kaile (edited 02-01-2001).] |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Kaile, there is not a one of us, I know I indeed feel the same way at times, and I have found that to step back and take a rest is often the best way of reminding myself why I do write but you have penned it perfectly here, for all these reasons we write, it opens our hearts, it reminds us life is general, so often it reminds us that were not the only one that feels the exact same way, never stop writing just rest your mind, you'll find afterwards, a calmness like after a storm, from this poem, I can tell it's a gift in you. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
glad this wasn't your last |
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