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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2001-01-30 09:50 AM


what is ever for?

I sit, one thought (or more) hangs
on each side of the fence
waiting for a decision, but
i don't write any
more.
I spewed words to the left.
I spewed words to the right.
Penned my battles till I tired
of fighting, tired of the balancing
act, and of white pickets poking
through my soul
one too many time.
I tired of emotions wrestling
themselves onto paper.
Tired of washing the slate clean,
tired of hanging me
out to dry.

So I found a spot comfortably
dull and I sit
and I
don't write anymore.
I gaze at the grass greener
(on the other side)
and at the newspapers piling
(unread) by my door
and I wait. (I think) I must be
waiting, as unmoving,
I watch the days roll by,
but for what I am waiting
I can not say.

The horizon catches my eyes
(more often than not)
and I have to wonder
how far can Everafter be?
Perhaps in the distance
a blue eyed savior
on a sterling white horse
will take me away?
I could (and yes I would though after reading this
you probably think not)
jump up onto his horse and never
have to make my
decisions at all.

Blinking my eyes, for somehow
they are blurring,
it's the sun I think,
(yes, there I go thinking again) but,
it is much too bright,
(and yes, arguably so)and
I look down in dismay.
While I used to be young
and oh so prince worthy
I have now grown
just old,
well maybe not old,
but certainly less girly.

...and yes I know that this is long
and you might argue
that I do (write that is)
but I don't,
(of that I am sure)
so don't fear
that I will keep you balanced
on this fence
with me forever,
it is mine alone to sit
or stand, jump
or fall.
But do have faith
(in my abilities)
for just now as I sit,
I find that unchanging
I am not.
I have added one wish.
A focus, a turning point,
A lever to upset the balance...
(or maybe only a 'perhaps',
who shall say?)
but a wish, oh yes, a wish to
spring life into the desert.
More than for a savior,
more than for the knowledge to
know what to do,
more than for strength to get
down from my perch
I look to the sun,
the sun that was able
to make me cry
and I am thankful that I am no longer
unfeeling,
but right now I wish
I surely wish that the sun
weren't quite so
bright.
Tears are too slippery
when you sit
somewhere in the middle.




[This message has been edited by jellybeans (edited 01-30-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-01-30 10:02 AM


Welcome to Passions! A mighty poem to make your entrance into what could possibly be your new home away from home! Sit back, relax, read, interact with friendly members, and above all...WRITE ON!  And check your e-mail for a special message!

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
2 posted 2001-01-30 10:19 AM


Damn!! this is good.... a very appealing writing style which seems quite familiar to me... are you really someone else? LOL... anyway, if you aren't, welcome, and if you are, welcome  and keep writing and posting stuff like this because i'm right there on that same fence and could identify with every word...

very very well done!  

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
3 posted 2001-01-30 01:40 PM


*bump*

this needs to be read.....

a great write here... these pages are too quick, i think, y'know? bouncing it back up but timing is everything they say, so maybe i should have waited until evening when more people other than us addicts are online.... lol@myself... oh well... i tried...

(i like the licorice ones but not the others, btw, as if that comment means anything... who ARE you? hehe... your writing style seems so familiar.)

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
4 posted 2001-01-30 02:45 PM


i'm not an addict
it feels good to read this poem
if you don't have it
your balanced on neither side?

great poem yuh

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-01-30 02:55 PM


I sit, one thought (or more) hangs
on each side of the fence
waiting for a decision, but
i don't write any
more.
I spewed words to the left.
I spewed words to the right.
Penned my battles till I tired
of fighting, tired of the balancing
act, and of white pickets poking
through my soul
one too many time.
I tired of emotions wrestling
themselves onto paper.
Tired of washing the slate clean,
tired of hanging me
out to dry.
====================
More than for a savior,
more than for the knowledge to
know what to do,
more than for strength to get
down from my perch
I look to the sun,
the sun that was able
to make me cry
and I am thankful that I am no longer
unfeeling,
but right now I wish
I surely wish that the sun
weren't quite so
bright.
Tears are too slippery
when you sit
somewhere in the middle.
=================
very cool write..
Welcome to Passions jellybean ...
this is well written and conceived
I look forward to more of your work,
and yes I have to concur with Doreen..
your style is familiar ...
but LOL at Dor asking "who you are"...
Hey Dor...not everyone has a bazillion screen names     LOL
Nice to have you here JB
take care
jm

If my slight Muse do please these curious days ...
The pain be mine ...
but thine shall be the praise.

~Shakespeare~


pandora
Member
since 1999-07-26
Posts 184

6 posted 2001-01-30 03:03 PM


You're kidding? they don't?
meeeeeoowwwta here...

(nice job jelly one- don't pay any attention to doreen, she asks too many questions and i'm just a cat, so i pussyfoot around here and keep my mouth shut except for an occasional mew)

CD
Member
since 2001-01-27
Posts 101

7 posted 2001-01-30 03:45 PM


This poem caught my eye and it is beautiful and very powerful.  Very very well written.  I look forward to seeing some more of your poems!!  Keep writing, Jellybean - keep writing.

CD

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2001-01-30 07:01 PM


welcome Jellybeans. . . or whoever you are. . .  . . .

I really like this one and yes, as doreen said, your style is very familiar. . . hope to see more of it. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

9 posted 2001-01-31 09:34 AM


sunshine, thank you for such a nice welcome  

Doreen, this can’t be good, lol, didn’t you read it? I don’t write any more.   thanks for your comments and for the bump…and I guess if I knew who I was I wouldn’t be sitting in the middle trying to reconcile who I want to be with the one who looks at me from the mirror…and yeppers, the licorice are my favorite too  

wayoutwalt, lol, yes I am perfectly balanced on neither side   Just love the way you said that  

Janet, thank you for the welcome, and the comments, and yes some people do have a certain style of writing, hope the one I remind you of was good *g*

Pandora, lol@ pussyfoot…thanks

CD thanks for your nice comments…and hey do you want to tell my muse that message, personally I love to write, its my muse that has grown so silent and moody  

Sven thank you for the welcome, and *sigh * I don’t know, if I will have more to post, my muse hasn’t been very prolific these days, but thank you for the encouragement.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2001-01-31 02:35 PM


Well, the thought of licorice makes me cringe.... I even substitute another flavoring for anise in recipes... blech! *G*

But the poem is superb! I'll admit that I laughed when I read

"...and yes I know that this is long
and you might argue
that I do (write that is)"

For you do indeed write and do so well! *S*



Agent696_DS
Junior Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 33
NY, USA
11 posted 2001-01-31 11:31 PM


I was touched I though it was an excellent expression on how life can be and what many of us feel dont stop writing this is an inspirational work

Lisann
Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 350

12 posted 2001-01-31 11:58 PM


This is one that I can relate to.   Sitting on the fence waiting for a reply--sounds like something I'm doing right now.
Funny,  I also stopped writing for a very long time.  I just now started again.  I had thought that I lost my creativity  but have since met someone who has inspired me again.

Never stop writing--poets have the most beautiful souls and writing is the only way that we have to truly express ourselves.  You did that well in your poem.  So even though you claim you don't write anymore---YOU  ARE A POET!

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

13 posted 2001-02-01 01:36 PM


suthern well lady, I know your replies are biased, lol, and maybe my appreciation of them also, but still gotta say thank you lady, you mean much to me

agent and lisa thank you, and yes, I keep trying to write, even though it doesn't flow easy these days


Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

14 posted 2001-02-01 02:23 PM


This read with almost a burning question....for the reader - very moving.

"I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis



jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

15 posted 2001-02-01 02:25 PM


thank you kathleen,   I appreciate your looking up my work, I know it is mostly sad these days, and for that I am sorry, but it won't always be, smiling soon I will be, well I keep telling myself that anyway  
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

16 posted 2001-02-01 08:46 PM


Never apologize to me for your mood, if you knew what kind of a year I've had, oh well....our feelings have to be dealt with and I can think of no better way than writing..........and letting it go!    I look forward to reading more of your work.

"I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis



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