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Open Poetry #12
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-01-27 03:47 AM


for just this little bit of lust---
I SIN---
for just his bit of trust--
again...denial gone unheard
without the written, typed word...

and what if it but there were? FORESWEAR!!!
your magic carpet without air...
how can it float with nothing there?
and all I've learned, these months, foreswear?

and no, and NO. NO SOLACE THERE.
Hot house flower in despair...
you thought we would not ever care?
We heard her gasping for clean air..
all of my learning? came undone...
to think I was the only one....
to find there was
a bud in bloom
amidst the dank
silence...
entombed......

Within the dirt? I feel the yen.
I feel alive. I grow again.
and every, all is but the doom...
the slide of slab of loves's sweet tomb.

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

1 posted 2001-01-27 05:01 AM


OOOOOHHHHH - a title up for grabs!

Cool K! Thanks!

As I got here first I guess I get it hey?

Preferably I would like 'All Mighty One Who Resides In Clouds'

A close second is 'Goddess Queen of the Universe'...

Take your time...no hurry...(but could you make sure I get an ermine cloak as well? Better make the deal good right?)


~snicker~
Heh

K



Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 2001-01-27 05:09 AM


Oh yes...the poem...right...

all of your learning undone?

Oh, surely not dear...
I think your learning comes out loud and clear in this - whether you know it or not...

bigs hugs - I like it...I like the style, but more importantly I care about the words and what they mean.

love ya

K


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2001-01-27 05:10 AM


yanno? if you were nota moderator? I might call you anytime...yanno i guess i will?  LOL...gawd ....I love ya!!!!

[This message has been edited by serenity (edited 01-27-2001).]

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
4 posted 2001-01-27 06:04 AM


I've got no ideas...sorry I just really like it very much...."we heard her gasping for clean air..all of my learning? came undone.."
You got me on this one Celeste....I don't even understand Severn's reply...but you have this way of writing some wonderful thoughts.....love to ya....ethome

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-01-27 07:56 AM


and what if it but there were? FORESWEAR!!!
your magic carpet without air...
how can it float with nothing there?
and all I've learned, these months, foreswear?

and no, and NO. NO SOLACE THERE.
Hot house flower in despair...
you thought we would not ever care?
We heard her gasping for clean air..
all of my learning? came undone...
to think I was the only one....
to find there was
a bud in bloom
amidst the dank
silence...
entombed......
================

look at me girlie commanding those metaphors
making her poets pen shout out the emotions
dressing it all up in rhyme divine ..
cryptic and way cool ...
awesome write me twin ...
you'll not ever come poetically undone ...
it flows thru ya
me loves ya
me

"she calls me baby ...
she calls everybody baaaaby".
~jc mellencamp~ ;)


spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
6 posted 2001-01-27 09:54 AM


Your words flow so well these days Serene.
Wonderous write.
Rich

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2001-01-27 01:14 PM


Serenity~
This is not a contest -
Hands down a winner !

Hot House Flower In Despair
Yeppers !
I like !
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
8 posted 2001-01-27 01:52 PM


serenity, great write.... lots of good title possibilities here...

Amidst the Dank

or

how about ... I got sand in my panties.. lol.

Parker

bslicker
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
9 posted 2001-01-28 11:20 AM


serentiny,

Another great one.......

Here's my try for a title.
A Lover's Flowering Tomb......

Bernie


Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-01-28 02:32 PM


what about. . . the silence of sin. . . not bad eh??

superb my friend. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
11 posted 2001-01-28 03:18 PM


Wonderful write.
how about..."I Grow again"?

Poeminister

"Awaiting welcome light of glory's gold,
I search the night to fan salvation's spark."
--Claire Brown Bower


[This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 01-28-2001).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2001-01-29 12:52 PM


Want to thank everybody...and parker...you've got sand in your PANTIES? say it ain't so...I thought all the suggestions so great that each title deserves a poem of it's own...in fact, if any of you would be interested in writing a duet under your chosen title...lemme know...
I've been looking for something to keep my mind off of things...(and yep, parker, even YOU...lol!) If anybody's game, just e or icq....

Love to all, and HUGS to forum!

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

13 posted 2001-01-29 12:56 PM


An incredible write Serenity...
I enjoyed the read and I thank you...
~coco~

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