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Open Poetry #12

Lonely's Heartbeat

Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2001-01-26 09:02 PM

Lonely's Heartbeat

I could close the door
keeping you from
leaving traces of your daily
pilgrimage throughout
my room

then I wouldn't sneeze, or
wake up with swollen eyes
or feel as though some thing
has been sleeping on my
chest all night...because you
couldn't get under the blanket

or get nipped on the arm
because you wanted attention
when I wanted
sleep

Yes, I could close the door
But I like having another
heartbeat in here.

< !signature-->

"...I am a river in winter,
quiet in the eyes of most
but deep,
swift and full of life
to one, lucky enough to fall through the ice."
from "Watercourse" by:Snow

[This message has been edited by Snow (edited 01-26-2001).]

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

1 posted 2001-01-26 10:12 PM

Ahhhh, this is sweet, Snow! Very sweet!

Denise

inot2B
Member Elite

since 2000-09-18

Posts 2205
Arkansas

2 posted 2001-01-27 02:21 PM

Now that is devotion. I would suppose we are talking about a CAT. Sorry I couldn't go with the sleeping on my chest.

Mother_Earth
Senior Member

since 2000-11-20

Posts 1370
1/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan

3 posted 2001-01-27 02:25 PM

Very moving. I enjoyed the "image" it gave.
ME

Poeminister
Senior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada

4 posted 2001-01-27 02:28 PM

I like this. Nicely done.

Poeminister

"Awaiting welcome light of glory's gold,
I search the night to fan salvation's spark."
--Claire Brown Bower

Robert Joseph
Member

since 2000-10-07

Posts 491
South Carolina

5 posted 2001-01-29 05:40 AM

Hi Babe, Are you still singing that song? Wink!

Robert Joseph
~svs~

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

6 posted 2001-01-29 07:02 AM

There seems to be such an undercurrent of emotional love problems in this well written poem...thanks for sharing! I like the style very much...ethome

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