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Open Poetry #12
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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2001-01-23 09:25 AM


Deep Blue

Deep was the blue of his intimate eyes
Like mountain blue mirror lakes capturing skies
And piercing and steady as sharp needled darts
That could disarm your caution and penetrate hearts

Soft was the turn of his rapturous smile
That smothered the notion of any denial
His lips were the sparks of a kindling fire
His eyes were the jewels of romantic desire

He stood like a statue of warm blooded mass
And stared through my being as though it were glass
The efforts to put up my usual guard
Were dispelled by a heart that was thumping too hard

As I walked past him clumsily tripping along
The blue of his eyes sang a passionate song
His smile hummed a sweet tender love lullaby
And then from my lips came a bungling “HI!”  

He was charming, endearing, enticing and hot
But that was the closest that I ever got
But the blue of his eyes were like deep mountain pools
So deep they were drowning ingenuous fools

Elizabeth Santos


© Copyright 2001 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-01-23 09:31 AM


Elizabeth...this is going into my library, and I can't say much more than that....you've left me speechless, once again!

Especially that last line...wow...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-01-23 09:45 AM


Deep was the blue of his intimate eyes
Like mountain blue mirror lakes capturing skies
And piercing and steady as sharp needled darts
That could disarm your caution and penetrate hearts
====================
He was charming, endearing, enticing and hot
But that was the closest that I ever got
But the blue of his eyes were like deep mountain pools
So deep they were drowning ingenuous fools
===================

my oh my ...
does he have a brother LOL ...
Oh I love this Lizzie ... your cadence danced off the page ...
and the imagery ... mmm mmm mmm  
very cool poem my dear ...
and yes..as Sun said...that last line...WOW!!

Poetry is not an opinion expressed ...
It is a song that rises from a bleeding wound ...
or a smiling mouth.
~Kahlil Gibran~

angelswing
Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705
United Kingdom
3 posted 2001-01-23 11:12 AM


Oh my good, where do you get this stuff from, your truly outstanding, I say this every time, and every time, you just make me come out and say it again . Oh and don't tell me, the heart right ? This poem is so good, I can't even start to do it justice with words . I could write a book about this poem and still have plenty of content to finish a trilogy on it !
Thank you so much for putting this massive smile on my face, it's just what I've always wanted .
L.of.L. Tommy .
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


Don't try, do or do not, there is no try .
- Master Yoda -

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
4 posted 2001-01-23 11:26 AM


This is awesome!!! All I can say is you
rock...this is going into my library.
The flow of this, word choice, all of it
is simply amazing. Excellent write!!

Take care
Amy  

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
5 posted 2001-01-23 11:33 AM


Elizabeth ,
The imageries and descriptions in this are wonderful. Beautiful written.

Poeminister

"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."
-Plato


vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
6 posted 2001-01-23 11:51 AM


enjoy the read
BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
7 posted 2001-01-23 01:00 PM


*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*
Deep was the blue of his intimate eyes
Like mountain blue mirror lakes capturing skies
And piercing and steady as sharp needled darts
That could disarm your caution and penetrate hearts

*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~~*

This is awesome!
Deb  

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

8 posted 2001-01-23 01:08 PM


I struggle to find the words that I may post into this reply so all I really can say to you PoetFriendElizabeth is a gracious thank you for an exceptionally captivating read...
*~coco~*

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

9 posted 2001-01-23 04:03 PM


"He stood like a statue of warm blooded mass
And stared through my being as though it were glass
The efforts to put up my usual guard
Were dispelled by a heart that was thumping too hard"

"He was charming, endearing, enticing and hot
But that was the closest that I ever got
But the blue of his eyes were like deep mountain pools
So deep they were drowning ingenuous fools"


Liz,
I type this reply with tears in my eyes. I can relate to this SOOO well. I have lived every single word in this piece. You describe the love and sadness beautifully. This is going on my bedroom wall. Thanks for sharing.

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav



Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
10 posted 2001-01-23 04:50 PM


Some people just have that certain something, and they are captivating! Beautiful poem Elizabeth!
peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
11 posted 2001-01-23 05:20 PM


Wow!!!!  This is truly great writing...I agree that this is a keeper

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

12 posted 2001-01-23 07:25 PM


Oohhh, the rapture, the deep blue rapture!  Very nice write, Liz.
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

13 posted 2001-01-23 07:34 PM


this is beautiful and precious.
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
14 posted 2001-01-23 07:36 PM


whooo eeee "drowning ingenuous fools"
as if the rest of the poem weren't already 5*'s you crowned it with these words!
Fabulous = (subtitled Paul Newman ? ~G~)


Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

15 posted 2001-01-23 10:15 PM


Could we have possibly known the same guy? I'll never forget him.....hmmmm.....I wonder whatever happened to him? Great poem, Elizabeth!

Denise

[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 01-23-2001).]

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
16 posted 2001-01-23 10:27 PM


Superb, titillating, hauntingly endearing.  Beautiful.  So very sensual and engulfing.
Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

17 posted 2001-01-23 10:39 PM


The consistency of the beauty of your poetry is amazing.  Thank you for sharing your wonderful gift.
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