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Open Poetry #12
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WinterTalon
Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA

0 posted 2001-01-21 08:40 PM


How is it that I’m realizing
I’ve been somewhat sympathizing?
I should have known what not to say
And yet I did it anyway.

This doesn’t come as a surprise,
Not in the wont of telling lies
I’d like to voice a special vow,
Bad thing is: I don’t know how!

So here’s a try to shed some light
On my not so willing plight
To explain the actions done,
Explain my words to everyone.

I notice that some of you scorn
The words I wrote, frustration-born.
We all know not all agree
Of our views of poetry.

I simply wrote a point of view
Thought to express to all of you,
The simple little thing I felt
The pain I suffered that you dealt.

Don’t think I don’t know what you mean
When telling me to write for me.
But I’m a hungry, growing girl!
I need some comments from the world!

I try to give what I receive
Just as it’s supposed to be.
The more I give the less I get…
Am I angry?  You can bet!

I write for me, you write for you,
So here’s what we ought to do:
If you like what a poem read
Let them know what your heart said

About the work they labored on
Before the poem is far gone
Down the list, not to be read.
Please tell them what you heart has said!

There I go again, you see?
It’s always gotta be ‘bout me!
Geez, I can’t believe my eyes!
C’mon, ppl!  Sympathize!

I’m not just a shallow brat
So please do not call me that.
I just don’t want to feel alone,
I can do that on my own.

I need your help, that’s why I’m here
So can’t some of you be a dear?
Don’t forget, make nice replies
And I’ll make sure nobody dies!

Ha!  I’m sorry, it got away
This silly humor of the day.
In all honesty, I vow,
Nasty comments I’ll not allow.

So lift those pens, prepare to write
(Or if you would prefer to, type)
Little comments, little things
Imagine all the joy they bring!

Nothing lifts my spirits like
A little note on this site
And I’m sure that you’ll agree
You share the same philosophy!

So c’mon, my poets, dear,
Shout replies, let us hear!
Thanks to you who left a note
I really enjoy what you’ve wrote!


~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~


© Copyright 2001 WinterTalon - All Rights Reserved
Ladycat
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782
At the edge and a doorway,TX
1 posted 2001-01-21 08:47 PM


WWWWOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!
That is the thing that my heart was saying about this piece.  Nicely written and I'm glad that you again shared your feelings.  I just wish that my feelings would come out the same way.

Love,
Lady


Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured.


dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
2 posted 2001-01-21 08:47 PM


i think i missed the original (you say this is a sequel..?)  but this one is good with me..    yes, we should try to take the time to respond..even its a short little "doreen 'wow!'"  LOL  i dont get a lot of time to read and respond..mostly i try to make sure to say my thank you's when someone replies to my poetry..but i know i like to get feedback on my poetry, so i'll try a little harder to read more so i can leave more responses...  

hugs, g


"i was thinkin'
if you were lonely
maybe we could leave here
and no one would know
at least not to where we would think so..."

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
3 posted 2001-01-21 08:48 PM


Evening PoeticEnchantress,

Ok, nice piece of writing about how you feel. So alright, I'll be a dear, and keep writing, and I'll keep reading.

BC


WinterTalon
Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA
4 posted 2001-01-21 08:54 PM


Yay!  See?  I knew you were all great ppl.  And I've always believed that there was power in poetry!  Write on, my friends!

~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~


WinterTalon
Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA
5 posted 2001-01-21 09:38 PM


I see it's not quite the hit the first was.  *chuckles*  It was an interesting experiment in any case.


~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~


wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
6 posted 2001-01-21 11:39 PM


well you know how sequels go (ex. the Empire Strikes Back, Godfather Two, Meatballs 2.) ehheeh love it too yuh you go and speak what i wanna say too
Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
7 posted 2001-01-21 11:44 PM


Nice yet again, even nicer than the first, loved all the faces I didn't even gag even though I nearly choked just kidding haha.. smiles back at yah!
WinterTalon
Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA
8 posted 2001-01-21 11:56 PM


No one ever wants to see the sequel.  It's automatically given the "not as good as the first" label.     Thanks for readin' and bearin' with me, guys.  It means more than you might imagine.

~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~


Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
9 posted 2001-01-22 08:16 AM


PoeticEnchantress,
as sequel's go this one's a doozy
so call me wicked or call me a floosie
if after two I don't respond
the first was quite funny, the second beyond
I know that it hurts I know that it burns
but that is the law of diminishing returns.

Liked this one two
write on
Keth


Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

10 posted 2001-01-22 08:21 AM


If you want to write poetry write from your own expression, not for anyone else. Write from yourself, not from anyone else and not FOR anything else.  Then post it.  Then if you receive a nice reply, acknowledge it.
STudy the craft if you want to, enjoy it, read and take it all in.  But if you are writing only for replies and attention you will not write for yourself and you will be doing yourself a disservice.

Reply in kind to those you admire, respectifully and honestly and if you don't like one, I would say nothing unless it's in the critique forum.
That's just an honest opinion.


Kathleen


WinterTalon
Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA
11 posted 2001-01-22 11:13 AM


An honest opinion I believe I've stated thru the lines:

'I write for me, you write for you'

as well as the stanza:

'Don’t think I don’t know what you mean
When telling me to write for me.
But I’m a hungry, growing girl!
I need some comments from the world!'

As you can see, i know this well.  That wasn't the point.  I guess you missed it.


~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2001-01-22 12:28 PM


I think you throw the cutest temper tantrums I've ever seen! This is adorable...and I'm trying, I'm trying!!!!
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

13 posted 2001-01-22 12:37 PM


I didn't miss it, I was simply trying to reinforce what you said here.

Kathleen



kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
14 posted 2001-01-26 09:22 PM


well, the sequel is as good as the first...and i dont know what to say actually(i guess thats why i reply less than i read)..but i guess i will leave my mark on this thread, proving that your emotions were heard and not ignored...

write on!

WinterTalon
Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA
15 posted 2001-01-26 09:34 PM


Thanx!  I know that sometimes ppl don't have time to reply to poems.  That's what I tried to express here, and keep it funny, of course.  Not many of my poems have humor in them so I thought I'd stick to something different.

~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~


Mother_Earth
Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 1370
1/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan
16 posted 2001-01-27 01:38 PM


PE, I didn't answer on the first one because there wasn't room!  I liked these 2 and can relate and I agree and disagree.  That is just me and I will try to do better and answer all that I read!  Hugs,  ME
Mother_Earth
Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 1370
1/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan
17 posted 2001-01-27 02:34 PM


PE, me again.  After I wrote this, I went to Passions#12 and started at the top and planned to read and answer each poem!! Well, I read and answered about 6 and haven't even put a dent in them!!  I have to stop and fix dinner, so will have to start over and maybe forget about sleep tonight!  It was a good idea, though.  Thought you should know.
       ME

inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
18 posted 2001-01-27 02:39 PM


Yes yes I like what you wrote and get a thrill when people comment upon my writes. I'll try to be more open and write what my heart feels when I read.
WinterTalon
Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA
19 posted 2001-01-28 10:17 AM


I have a confession to make...  I've been really bad lately about reading and replying to poems.  Mostly because I haven't had the time, what with my...um... family.  Anywayz, I'm sorry and I'm trying, really I am.

ME: Yes, good idea.  I tried that once... never quite got finished, but I DID put a dent in it.  Naturally, it was at one of the slower times of the day  

Thanx all for your comments.  I know you know what it's like.  


~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~


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