navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » If You Were Here
Open Poetry #12
Post A Reply Post New Topic If You Were Here Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA

0 posted 2001-01-21 01:38 AM


If you were here
For me to show
The faded mist
Of passions glow
The scent that fills
This dreary air
The rising heat
A glaring stare
The feel of raindrops
Falling down
The naked thoughts
A chilling sound
Fantasy waits
This thunderous night
Erupting dreams
By fire light
The flicker of
The candles flame
Hearts in beat
No feel for pain
Consumption of
Your body’s need
To feel desire
On which I feed
And driven to
This very place
To feel the lips
I’d love to taste
The fire of
That very kiss
Dreams once had
Now in remiss
If you were here
For me to show
These words
Would be in vain.


© Copyright 2001 Richard Rendall - All Rights Reserved
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
1 posted 2001-01-21 01:43 AM


Wow..........I am truely impressed at this wonderful piece.  The flow and the content combine to speak loudly but smoothly.  This one is one to keep so it goes into my library.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-01-21 01:47 AM


made me smile on an awful night...gotta love ya for that...beautiful, just beautiful...
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
3 posted 2001-01-21 01:52 AM


This is wonderful Rich...your words just keep getting more and more powerful...Im loving watching you grow
WinterTalon
Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA
4 posted 2001-01-21 02:01 AM


Flow, flow, flow!  Loved it!  One of those poems with awesome content as well as one you LOVE to read!

~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~


Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
5 posted 2001-01-21 02:14 AM


What a cool piece! I loved it!

Sauni


Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2001-01-21 06:52 AM


The flicker of
The candles flame
Hearts in beat
No feel for pain
Consumption of
Your body’s need
To feel desire
On which I feed
And driven to
This very place
To feel the lips
I’d love to taste
The fire of
That very kiss
Dreams once had
Now in remiss
If you were here
For me to show
These words
Would be in vain.
==============

nothing here is in vain...
all the emotions are felt in your expression and presentation
very cool write.



When to the sessions of sweet silent thought,
I summon up remembrance of things past ...
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought.
~Shakespeare~

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2001-01-21 09:46 AM


Spiked~

'If you were here
For me to show
These words
Would be in vain'


Muchly enjoyed.
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2001-01-21 10:35 AM


(sigh) Oh how romantic! Yes, you would love her like no other if she was here, which she soon will be in your arms to share your beautiful heart with. (sigh) Excellent poem, my friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Lady Lightning
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 422
Kentucky
9 posted 2001-01-21 09:51 PM


WOW Rich, Just WOW!!!
This is WONDERFUL....
Each time I read you it gets better and better...  
There were so many lines in this one I wanted to pull out , but after thinking about it, I think I would have copied them all..hehe..
Thanks for a precious read..Loved it, much.. Hugs  ~LL~


The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
10 posted 2001-01-21 10:55 PM


such a spell you weave with bewitching words...............so enchanting. Helen
Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

11 posted 2001-01-21 11:27 PM


Nicely done Rich..great rhythm..

                 ~V~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)



Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
12 posted 2001-01-21 11:32 PM


Excellent.  I love the way this flows.  Nicely penned.

Poeminister

spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
13 posted 2001-01-21 11:41 PM


I thank you all so very much.was written from the heart and appreciated from the same.
thanks
Rich

Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
14 posted 2001-01-22 01:05 AM


very nice, and so romantic
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

15 posted 2001-01-22 01:32 AM


SPIKED, this is an unforgettable read one that I shall thread to library for more enjoyment in days ahead...
Thank you PoetFriend for this most endearing poem you have shared
*~coco~*

spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
16 posted 2001-01-22 07:36 AM


Thank you rosebud
Coco As always I get the most complimentary and excited replies from you. Thank you very much
Rich

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
17 posted 2001-01-22 06:27 PM


Rich~ SO beautiful.......

"The feel of raindrops
Falling down
The naked thoughts"

Love this part best   -SEA

spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
18 posted 2001-01-24 12:00 PM


Thank you Sea much appreciated.
Rich

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
19 posted 2001-01-24 12:02 PM


Oh BRAVO Rich, great piece of writing...well done  
~HUG~
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


aurora rain
Member
since 2000-11-15
Posts 90

20 posted 2001-01-24 12:04 PM


i'm quite sure you won't mind hearing once more how beautiful and romantic that poem is. nice job...
spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
21 posted 2001-01-24 06:43 PM


Thank you Tracie
Aurora no I don't mind and am quite please to hear it
Rich

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
22 posted 2001-01-29 12:00 PM


Romantic and beautiful... I enjoyed the read! *S*
spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
23 posted 2001-01-29 12:38 PM


Thank you Suthern.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » If You Were Here

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary