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WinterTalon
Member

since 2001-01-14

Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA

0 posted 2001-01-21 01:27 AM

Spirit broken, heart denied,
Unconscious greed dissatisfied.
Horrid loathing, sad defeat,
Life no more, mind deplete...

Yeah, it's short... that should make ya happy!

~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

1 posted 2001-01-21 01:31 AM

Residing residue
remains
reminding
hearts how
hellish hurt
hovers
taking tender
thoughts to the
throws
and acknowledging
anguish angrily
==================

Let it out and then find the sunshine in your day and pen tomorrow. Short but alot said and with style I might ad.

lucky
Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 1601
Idaho

2 posted 2001-01-21 01:36 AM

Well'

Sad alright... but I found some battleship gray spray... we might have to find some multi-colored houses but that's not so hard. There everywhere. Do you paint as well as you write..?

dale

WinterTalon
Member

since 2001-01-14

Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA

3 posted 2001-01-21 01:39 AM

Thanks, Mark... thank you very much

I told ya I wasn't artistic, dale. But is it a crime to try?

~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~

Saunni
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 1777
West Virginia

4 posted 2001-01-21 01:46 AM

This is cool! Said a lot in just a few words.

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Poeminister
Senior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada

5 posted 2001-01-21 02:20 AM

Excellent. You've expressed your feelings sharply in this. Nicely penned.

Poeminister

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2001-01-25 05:15 PM

An awful lot is often said in a few words... you did so here. *S* Well done!

Amature2
Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 416

7 posted 2001-01-25 05:28 PM

PoeticEnchantress

"WOW" few words but strong one too.

"Spirit broken, heart denied"

Is when poets begin to write. Amature2

WinterTalon
Member

since 2001-01-14

Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA

8 posted 2001-01-25 05:49 PM

You are so right, Amature2...

And thank you all very much for your comments!

~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~

PoeticKnight
Senior Member

since 2000-01-20

Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

9 posted 2001-01-25 06:00 PM

Short, but sad, which is sweet.

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

10 posted 2001-01-25 07:01 PM

POETIC..very nice write..i often find that if i use too many words, i just repeat myself...short is good

hugs, g

"...beyond the door, theres peace i'm sure...and i know there'll be no more tears in heaven..." clapton

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