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UnExpected [a response to a challenge]
| Open Poetry #12 |
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UnExpected [a response to a challenge] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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UnExpected "Things had fallen Into dull routine Her job, his job Both too tired Romance faded Two exhausted souls" {quote W.Y.} thirty years had wound their way through different avenues of life he was absolute and certain he would always have his wife she had become quite quiet, passive a listlessness engaged he meant to someday spark her passion and he'd get to it after his fashion when the day came that time was on his hands he rushed home to greet her she'd give to his commands for nothing would deter him to reach her inner soul he would make her love again this became an obsessive goal the house was quiet, the rooms were dim she was not there waiting for him he showered and shaved and robed his frame hoped she'd be ready to play some games the grand clock ticked then chimed the hour he wondered at her lateness now beyond the dinner hour he thought to light candles it had been quite awhile but surely in candlelight he would see her smile time passed on slowly wonder turned to worry he called her office, no answer, got surly he checked the machine no message was there he slowly ran his fingers through his thinning hair his emotion, now anger led him to her room he cast about for answers no idea of pending doom then found her note, ah! as he had suspected! but as he read through her words were unexpected When you get home I won't be here I've had enough of your misery dear You don't see me like you had before and no longer will I come knocking on your door. You haven't needed me for some time now so I'll seek happiness and maybe somehow I'll find me again even on my own I know this is unexpected but this is no longer home. 01.20.01 [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 01-20-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karilea--This is a great take on Bill's unexpected reply to you...sometimes a little is just too late. This is very realistic and so sad. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
AHA!!! The Great Escape! ... sure wish i had thought of this 7 or 8 years ago.... ... what a plan! hehe... very succinct and real writing here, karilea... |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
yes, sometimes we are taken for granted! this really hit home Kathleen |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
i just wanted to add that she shoulda taken the furniture, too... (but that would've screwed up the line about the clock, so never mind... LOL)... i crack myself up sometimes...  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thanks you all for your replies...wasn't sure if this is the response he was expecting...but it seemed appropriate... |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
It is a curse of mine - that where love once bloomed I forever remain the optimist. So as you must have known - this ending was 'unexpected' - still I must also tell you - I too have had such thoughts - Well done Lady Karilea |
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WinterTalon Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 141Brooksville, KY, USA |
Wow... Let me repeat that statement... Wow... ~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Mr. Yeats, through my past work you've noted my optimism...therefore, this was a difficult piece for me to write...but knowing how you like a twist now and then, I could only think to do as I did...I hope I pleased you... Poetric Enchantress...thank you so much for the double wow... |
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