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Open Poetry #12
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2001-01-19 10:56 PM



The Crystal Ball (this may be a repost...it is also a rewrite)

She was fragrant with dreams,
you could see them glistening,
dreams like red clicking nails,
and just so perfect red mouth,
dreams she held enshrined
like the pearl in the dimple
of her neck.

She swept the floor
with the silken slither
of her dress,
left a mark across the dust.

She had come here with a question
I could see that too,
lean and hungry vulnerable eyebrows
with questions about love,
about the man with the dark hair
and eyes that held midnight.

Her voice was so pure
it vibrated the cobwebs
in the corner with its bell
and she only said hello,
but I heard her dream
and saw her laying spread
and new with desire,
giving complete.

Then I lost her to haze
and a smoke filled room
where in shadow a slumped shoulder
crossed in front of a window,
and it hurt to see
the tree outside
filled with blackbirds.

Time is a robber
I thought
and she turned and looked back,

thank you for your time
she said into my surprise.


© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-01-19 11:15 PM


Whoosh...what a whirlwind of emotion....wow!
tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
2 posted 2001-01-19 11:23 PM


Martie~
fabulous read, I really enjoyed this  
~HUG~
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2001-01-20 01:01 AM


The mystique of Martie~ ...
What a wonderfully captivating read, my friend.

Makes me want to head for Cassadaga, FL, and the readers of thought.
*Hugs*, gal.
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
4 posted 2001-01-20 01:03 AM


I like this muchly.  Wonderful writing.

Poeminister

"...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls-
O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love."
-Poe


doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
5 posted 2001-01-20 01:12 AM


you are one fine writer, martie... i've admired your writing for a long long time.... this piece is very well done... makes me want to clean out the attic, though, so i'll have to read it the second time tomorrow... hehe *g
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
6 posted 2001-01-20 05:03 AM


Excellent my friend.  I am truely amazed at the topics you come up with and then even more amazed at the beauty you put into everyone of them.
Martie
Moderator
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2001-01-20 10:03 AM


Sunshine--click your heels together three times.

Tracie--I'm so glad you enjoyed this..and thanks for the hug...hugs back.

Marge--Oh do it, and let me know how it goes.

Thankyou so much Poeminister.

Mark--If you are amazed...that please me.  

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2001-01-20 10:32 AM


Doreen--A compliment coming from you pleases me more than you know..for I admire your talent a great deal...but about the attic, I don't have one.
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
9 posted 2001-01-20 12:28 PM


Martie this is a great story, very interesting and with that mystical tone. I like the way you re-did it.
Sandra

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2001-01-21 07:22 AM


She had come here with a question
I could see that too,
lean and hungry vulnerable eyebrows
with questions about love,
about the man with the dark hair
and eyes that held midnight.

Her voice was so pure
it vibrated the cobwebs
in the corner with its bell
and she only said hello,
but I heard her dream
and saw her laying spread
and new with desire,
giving complete.
======================

you write her so well ...
we can see her...hear hear..smell her ...
this is so way cool Martie ...
awesome descriptive writing ...
and those last lines...IMPACT girlie!!
anybody ever tell ya your good at this poetry stuff??  


When to the sessions of sweet silent thought,
I summon up remembrance of things past ...
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought.
~Shakespeare~

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2001-01-21 07:57 AM


"She was fragrant with dreams"
I already knew another masterpiece poem was coming from Martie
And you always draw us into the scene. You take a small piece of life and somehow involve us in an unknown story, in which we know but don't really know the ending. A rare gift of talent.
Liz

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
12 posted 2001-01-21 08:58 AM


Your poetry is always such a vivid display of emotion and imagery....great write  

~ Ruth
www.angelfire.com/pa/OriginalMinds/index.html

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2001-01-21 11:43 AM


Sandra--thanks for the reply...I'm glad you stopped to read it.

Janet--Thanks for always seeing so clearly...your replies are always a joy.

Liz--Certainly not a masterpiece, but your wonderful reply sure makes me smile...thanks.

Ruth--thanks, so glad to see you here again..Hope to see more of you.


jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
14 posted 2001-01-21 12:00 PM


Martie, you always write so well, and never cease to amaze and this is no exception...
Enjoyed mucho.

jwesley

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
15 posted 2001-01-21 01:58 PM


Hello Martie,

This is one terrific writing. Many emotions, and very well done.

BC

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

16 posted 2001-01-21 05:12 PM


Very lovely, Martie! I recall the original...how do you take perfection and make it even better?

Denise

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
17 posted 2001-01-21 05:56 PM


Once more I'm Overwhelmed - Like Delta Dawn - but SO  much better
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
18 posted 2001-01-21 08:07 PM


James--Thanks for saying such nice words, in Spanish and english...muchas gracias.

Bill Charles--I don't often get a chance to tell you thank you for reading...now I do.

Denise--You have an amazing memory...and you always make me feel like a poet.

Hi Bill--I always love your comments...sort of make my day, you know?

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

19 posted 2001-01-23 09:25 AM


Her voice was so pure
                  it vibrated the cobwebs
                  in the corner with its bell
                  and she only said hello,
                  but I heard her dream
                  and saw her laying spread
                  and new with desire,
                  giving complete.

                  Then I lost her to haze
                  and a smoke filled room
                  where in shadow a slumped shoulder
                  crossed in front of a window,
                  and it hurt to see
                  the tree outside
                  filled with blackbirds.

Oh Martie,
Thanks for sharing this wonderous poem dear.
You totally amaze me.
I love it

Maree  

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