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Open Poetry #12
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-01-18 09:54 PM


With the Choice Made, Now...
Virginia Salter

the wheel had finally ceased its spinning
Roulette is not a game for the meek
the choice had been made without his blessing
now what might he do, he couldn’t speak

tears began to stream forth as raindrops
onto his pale and deeply drawn face
in his ears there echoed, “Such a scoundrel!”
as the glow quickly faded from his grace

what was he to do with his future
now that it had all been takin’ ‘way
in a mere rolling of the dice change the nature
over which his hours of life he would pray

at the bottom of life is his passage
in this hour of his greatest need
where shall he turn, what true message
will reach him and cause him give heed

just the twist of a hand wrote his hist’ry
as in dust it all now seems to lie
how might he overcome his dark choices
return to whom he’d been lest he die

© January 18, 2001

© Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2001-01-18 10:17 PM


Yep, some choices that we have made we wish forever that we hadn't...but.....I guess we just have to live with the consequences somehow. Very well expressed, Virginia!

Denise

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
2 posted 2001-01-19 12:06 PM


Thanks!  I guess what I was trying to do worked.  I was using a gambler as an analogy for the message you received from the poem.  So, with your comment, I feel this was a success.  Now, what do I need to do to fine tune it?
Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
3 posted 2001-01-19 12:48 PM


I think its perfect.  Its flow and its rhyme.  Wonderful writing.

Poeminister

"It is our business to go as we are impelled."
~ D.H. Lawrence

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
4 posted 2001-01-19 03:19 AM


As long as we learn something from the mistakes and weaknesses we go through in life then it is not a total loss.  Wonderful way to present this one and I wouldn't fine tune a thing.  It gets it's message out loud and clear.
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
5 posted 2001-01-19 10:07 AM


Thanks Poeminister and Mark for your wonderful encouraging words.
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