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Open Poetry #12
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Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2001-01-16 09:24 PM




           image of niagara falls


Fading Among the Mist


I hear your voice in the whispering winds
While teetering on the brink of past and present
Mist rising cold and harsh
Chilling the hot crimson memories that leave
one more trail down my cheeks

When did you stop believing you loved me?
Was it while we still held one another's hand
along the path of false happiness?
Did we only come together to say "good-bye"

I looked out into the whirlpool so many times
since that moment, wishing the swirling waters
could have taken your words...could have swallowed
all the hurt

Now I see your face among strangers, feel your
kisses within the swaying of the trees and I'm
once again, just lost among the mist

Little emerald orbs bouncing from there...
to here
Crying out loud, only you don't listen
You said, "good-bye"  and let go of my hand

Only I still walk the path,
and I still hold your hand
among the mist, within the swirling waters
I want to be ...
and fade away



the pic, is Niagara Falls, where these thoughts were born, in August '00




"...I am a river in winter,
quiet in the eyes of most
but deep,
swift and full of life
to one, lucky enough to fall through the ice.

© Copyright 2001 Snow - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-01-16 09:46 PM


packed with an emotional punch.......hitting directly into the heart.......hugs to you   -SEA
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2001-01-16 09:47 PM


(sigh) Oh, dear one, this was sad! It must be so hard feeling these ghosts of love within you after breaking away! Oh, I pray you find new love very soon, which will forever blossom in you! Excellent poem! Thank you for sharing, my friend!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Robert Joseph
Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491
South Carolina
3 posted 2001-01-16 10:17 PM




Ever more, you amaze me...ever more, ever more.

Robert Joseph
     ~enb~

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
4 posted 2001-01-17 12:37 PM


Snow,
WoW! Whispers of love's echoes in a lovely setting, heart wrenching but also well written.
Tender render from the sender
Keth


Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.



CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

5 posted 2001-01-17 12:48 PM


A very moving write filled with much expression of love and sadness of a goodbye...
Thank you SNOW for sharing this with us...
*~coco~*

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
6 posted 2001-01-17 11:47 PM


'I looked out into the whirlpool so many times
since that moment, wishing the swirling waters
could have taken your words...could have swallowed
all the hurt

Now I see your face among strangers'

Oh man, does this affect me at this particular point in time.  Excellent write, Snow!

sp  


I won't go; I won't sleep; I can't breathe until you're resting here with me...

emmalouise
Junior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 26

7 posted 2001-02-13 09:55 PM


Snow...

I missed this in its first incantation, so I just had to say what a powerful effect this had on me this evening...I guess the longing-for-a-lost-love theme is suiting my mood tonight...


Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
8 posted 2001-02-14 03:09 PM


thank you all for your comments on this piece. each one is very special to me.

Thank you,
Snow

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
9 posted 2001-02-15 02:10 AM


Very good, Snow!

Nathan

Wolf777
Junior Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 20

10 posted 2001-02-28 04:08 PM


YOU could never fade.
Once more you show the beauty of your heart through your words. Amazing, you.

Get the idea yet???

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
11 posted 2001-02-28 04:16 PM


That treacherous thing called love...when it leaves it doesn't disappear, a thick heavy residue remains in the core of the heart and it's so hard to get rid of....yes it makes one feel like fading away into the mist away from all of it....good poem!!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

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