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Open Poetry #12
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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2001-01-16 05:49 PM


Elusive is she

Whom I try to touch
Or describe for my mind
To somehow memorize every detail
So as to emblazon upon my eye
And keep her there forever
Or at least until I die

Is it that my hand is too slow,
Or too far to actually reach?
It could be my reaction delayed
By the desire which makes me seek
She has so many dark secrets
In which I wish of her to speak

And when she lights up
She lightens all the dark clouds
With brilliant radiance
Taunting those who are angry and proud
And dressing them up
In a bright, burning blue shroud

She is fire in the sky
She is electric heat in the air
All things love and worship her
All things everywhere
And I am just one small being
Who wants to catch her there

Though she burns my reaching hand
If it should stray too possibly near
Such concentrated intensity
Yet I do not cower in useless fear
Not even from her anger,
As I shield my deafened ears

I could spend eternity
Chasing her through the sky
Grasping at nothing finally,
Yet still willing to try
As long as the chance remains
To catch her somehow before I die



© Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-01-16 06:47 PM


This is beautiful as well as romantic!   I really enjoyed this!   -SEA
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2001-01-16 06:50 PM


I like this one. . . I've caught lightning before. . . you just have to use the right gloves. . .  

Great poem!

--------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
3 posted 2001-01-16 06:57 PM


This is wonderous writing. I love the feeling behind this, and the adoration.


Can I be your willful breeze,
Come to touch,
Your heart to ease?


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-01-16 07:18 PM


And when she lights up
She lightens all the dark clouds
With brilliant radiance
Taunting those who are angry and proud
And dressing them up
In a bright, burning blue shroud

=========================
Though she burns my reaching hand
If it should stray too possibly near
Such concentrated intensity
Yet I do not cower in useless fear
Not even from her anger,
As I shield my deafened ears

I could spend eternity
Chasing her through the sky
Grasping at nothing finally,
Yet still willing to try
As long as the chance remains
To catch her somehow before I die
=============

superb use of metaphor here to express the longing, devotion and desire ...
awesome imagery.
written so that the reader feels the intensity and depth of the emotions
intense is definatly the adjective for this poem.
excellent work
jm


[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 01-16-2001).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2001-01-16 07:28 PM


absolutely stunning....
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
6 posted 2001-01-17 01:25 AM


Sir, this has a romantic magic feel to it.. may we publish it in the Valentine's issue of Digital Passions? Please??????
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2001-01-17 01:32 AM


Sir, please heed PoetdeVine's plea...submit this for the Valentine issue...it is....

splendid...

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

8 posted 2001-01-17 01:36 AM


PK, this is such a beautiful poem...
Thank you for the delightful read...
*~coco~*

[This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 01-17-2001).]

PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
9 posted 2001-01-17 09:18 AM


Wow, I am so surprised to see such responses to this. I am truly honored. You must know that this one is special to me in that it was the first one in awhile that was written all at once, and just seemed I was dictating. You all know what I mean, that's why I thank you all so much.
And, Poet deVine...I would enjoy being in the Valentine's issue. Just keep me posted so to speak. *S*

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
10 posted 2001-01-17 09:36 AM


Thank you..you should go to the main site and register to get it! If not, I'll forward a copy to you. Do you want PoeticKnight as your name on it?
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

11 posted 2001-01-17 10:01 AM


fabulous!




Lady Lightning
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 422
Kentucky
12 posted 2001-01-18 11:40 AM


PoeticKnight...
Simply lovely..
I could feel so much,
All the emotions in this..
Maybe I can keep this one?  
Hugs   ~LL~


The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2001-01-18 12:03 PM


PoeticKnight--This poem is awesome...with beautiful imagery and metaphore...JM said it best...great work!
PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
14 posted 2001-01-18 12:52 PM


Thank you, ladies. and, you LL, feel free. *S*

[This message has been edited by PoeticKnight (edited 01-18-2001).]

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