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Open Poetry #12
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Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton

0 posted 2001-01-15 09:52 AM



Good morning Passions....I hope all is well....I wanna send shoutouts to all who read my last poem....it makes me feel like somebody cares for my poetry...anways, this is an old piece that's about a subject that y'll hardly see me write about cause, it's my weakness, my achilles heel....a thing called love...I guess I simply don't have too much love rhymes in me or something...anyways, I hope y'll enjoy the poem!

The moment she walked in,
her presence locked in.
Man, I've never seen a girl so beautiful before.
On a scale of one to ten, I give her a twenty-four!
With her creamy white skin, that beautiful face,
and that hourglass figure,
homegirl had me fiegning for her,
like a bottle of liquor!
Everyone in the room had their jaws dropped,
as this young girl shimmied around,
in her silky halter top.
Man, she was one sexy fox
and I feared, that if I continued to stare,
my eyes would eventually go "pop"
like a jack-in-a-box.
Man, I wanted to get with her real bad
and I would give it all I had,
to get her attention
so that I can dwell,
in her lovely dimension
cause my desires for her, burn like hell
as her presence,
is all in the beauty of essence.
Baby got back, she's all that, and a bag of chips,
with her banging hips, and those juicy lips,
she could make an acrobat do, 100 flips.
Man if she was mine,
I would treat her divine,
and make her so satisfied,
that she would never leave my side,
till the the day I'm die,
and even when I die,
she'll still be mine
cause eventually, we'll meet again in heaven,
and once again, our love will rain heart and roses,
with a smile of encouragement from God,
and a heart-touching comment from Moses.

© Copyright 2001 Nate Dogg - All Rights Reserved
Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

1 posted 2001-01-15 10:38 AM


loved it nate..i think i missed it the first time around..thanks for posting again

                 ~V~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)



snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
2 posted 2001-01-15 11:15 PM


Very cool, nate!  I could hear the rhythm as if someone was reading it aloud.  I like this a lot!!

sp  


I won't go; I won't sleep; I can't breathe until you're resting here with me...

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2001-01-15 11:25 PM


Nate, my friend~
Well, this one will do quite nicely, sir !
I caught myself rapping it and it
sounded real fine to me.

'On a scale of one to ten, I give her a twenty-four!'

Gotta LOVE that math !
It all adds up to a great, fun write !
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
4 posted 2001-01-15 11:41 PM


(smiling uncontrollably)

Thank you Snowpants and especially Marge....both of your comments have addened to this wonderful day I'm having today as we celebrate Mr. King's birthday...hey Marge, you should repost your King's dedication poem...I know I loved it...well I gotta go and thanks you to for the sweet comments...bye!

Nathan

Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793
on the roof again
5 posted 2001-01-15 11:43 PM


emotions with a beat.
i like 'em like that.
intense and funny. very smooth.

i'm just learning how to smile;
that's not easy to do.
-Art P. Alexakis

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2001-01-16 12:10 PM


She definately seems to be the woman you need to meet
to stir up the passion within your romantic beat...James

maxtec1
Senior Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 577
Garland, Tx
7 posted 2001-01-16 12:13 PM


WOW great writing by the way does she have a sister.
Love and light,
Richard

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
8 posted 2001-01-16 12:25 PM


NATE DOGGY DOG..    yeah..i'm with marge..i gotta rap it when i read you    me and the fat boys gettin the groove    (sorry, i'm a bit of an old dog..i like the old rappers  lol!)

love this nate!  and this part gave me a chuckle:

"...Baby got back, she's all that, and a bag of chips,
with her banging hips, and those juicy lips,
she could make an acrobat do, 100 flips..."

      flippin for ya nate..

keep writin and i'll keep rappin with ya    hugs, g


"oh baby baby, its a wild world..its hard to get by just upon a smile..." cat stevens

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
9 posted 2001-01-16 12:33 PM


*smiles* here Nathan...very cool!
Your last lines were awesome...the subject
of "Love" is not one of my strong suits so I
feel for ya but I'd say you wear it well!!
Great writing ~


You can swim in the waves of the weave...without sinking into the mind of the weaver~


Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
10 posted 2001-01-16 02:29 PM


I wanna say a sincere thanks to all those who posted a reply....peace!

Nathan

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
11 posted 2001-01-16 02:34 PM


Nate~   this is really a fun....easy way to express desire.......I enjoyed this very much......it's very musical...... -SEA
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
12 posted 2001-01-16 11:21 PM


Thank you sea, for your wonderful comments.

Nathan

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
13 posted 2001-01-17 12:52 PM


awwwww another romantic......to be so adored....Wonderful, just wonderful...




Greeneyes~




***


"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."
-Unknown



CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

14 posted 2001-01-17 02:12 AM


NAT, the last two lines had me in sighs...
A sweet write PoetFriend and I thank you for the re-post as I never got to see this on first round...
*~coco~*

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
15 posted 2001-01-17 01:57 PM


Thank you Greeneyes and Coco, for your wonderful comments!

Nathan

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