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Open Poetry #12
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Victoria
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since 2000-08-12
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0 posted 2001-01-11 01:11 AM


Come stroll the sandy dunes of Candlelight Bay
I plead do not let time take you away
do not let my memory in your mind ever stray
remember upon our lips the taste of Cabernet
shared within our love of Candlelight Bay

let us leave forever footprints upon the shore
grains of sand in the wind forever we will soar
only time will take you away my paramour

forever in the night our bodies will sway
upon the shores dancing in Candlelight Bay
forever we will drift in the wind like bouquet
our sweet memories will never melt like sorbet
and if the hand of time invites me to dance away
I will return as a mermaid in Candlelight Bay

< !signature-->

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)  






[This message has been edited by Victoria (edited 01-11-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Victoria - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-01-11 01:14 AM


Victoria~   This is gorgeous!! I loved the ending........ -SEA
tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
2 posted 2001-01-11 02:49 AM



Victoria~
Lovely, sensual piece...well penned
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida
3 posted 2001-01-11 08:37 AM



Very nice.


With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

Victoria
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since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

4 posted 2001-01-11 11:05 AM


thank you Sea tracie and Dragonpoe for reading...love the mermaid tracie...HUGS TO ALL...

               ~V~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2001-01-11 11:06 AM


Victoria, this title drew me in...to a pure delight of read...thank you for weaving this one...
vandana
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since 1999-10-22
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6 posted 2001-01-11 11:19 AM


like this much
inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
7 posted 2001-01-11 11:20 AM


a mermaid in Candlelight Bay better watch out for those fishermen. Beautiful images on that sandy shore.
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
8 posted 2001-01-11 11:49 AM


I absolutely love the way you weave your words in this fantasy-like romantic piece!  One of your best, I'm printing out a copy for myself   The flow and the rhyme is perfect and I love how you repeat the line "of/in Candlelight Bay" throughout, that's very effective, especially when you begin and the end the poem with that important line

Take care,
Melissa< !signature-->

The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams




[This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 01-11-2001).]

Victoria
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since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

9 posted 2001-01-11 02:37 PM


sunshine..thanks you..i enjoyed writing this one very much..and im so glad you enjoyed too

vandana..thank you for peeking


inot2b..i would love to be a mermaid and tease all the fisherman haa...thank you

melissa..thank you melissa..for all your very kind compliments..

                  ~V~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

10 posted 2001-01-11 02:59 PM


oh, thank you for taking me away for a few moments, the sorbet was wonderful!

"Every man dies.
Not every man truly lives."
Braveheart

Kathleen


Victoria
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

11 posted 2001-01-11 05:32 PM


Thank you kathleen..ha..i am so glad you enjoyed ...HUGS  

               ~V~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)



Lady Ollyne
Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 337
East Coast
12 posted 2001-01-11 06:30 PM


To leave ones forever behind...
to imprint upon anothers heart
such wonderful lasting thoughts, Lady ~V~

~smiling forever thoughts~
Lady Ollyne



"O, learn to read what silent love hath writ:
To hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit"...Shakespeare

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
13 posted 2001-01-11 07:47 PM


forever in the night our bodies will sway
upon the shores dancing in Candlelight Bay
forever we will drift in the wind like bouquet
our sweet memories will never melt like sorbet
and if the hand of time invites me to dance away
I will return as a mermaid in Candlelight Bay
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Victoria,
This is stunning. Love the visual blended with tender love.
Deb

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

14 posted 2001-01-11 09:47 PM


thank you very much Lady and Deb..
i had fun writing this one..and im
happy you both enjoyed it...HUGS

              ~V~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)



passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2003-01-27 12:02 PM


all these folks writing about water and beaches...and it's January...I still may have to go
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
16 posted 2003-11-25 01:42 AM


Victoria~
Though you are no longer here, or haven't been for some time ... I hope that someday you will return to see that your beautiful poetry is still being enjoyed~

I miss ya' lady~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
       noles1@totcon.com   

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