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Open Poetry #12
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dgvarner
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since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

0 posted 2001-01-10 08:17 PM


(i'm quite at a loss for a title actually..but didnt want to call it "untitled"..any suggestions?)
( thanks for the title help!  i think i'm gonna go with this "watching sins grow wild"    )


playing with the devil
watching sins grow wild
dare him to take your hand
for a little while

he'll whisper in your ear
while he fiendishly steals your soul
he'll snatch your heart away
just to leave you cold

with the blood of a stolen soul
dripping slowly from his quill
i've watched him sit in laughter
while he scribbles the heart to still

i am his darkwinged angel
dressed in demon black
once you find me in your dreams
there is no turning back

smell me on your skin
taste me on your hand
i'll be there where he left me
you cant go home again...

-dgvarner
1-10-01
< !signature-->

"oh baby baby, its a wild world..its hard to get by just upon a smile..."  cat stevens



[This message has been edited by dgvarner (edited 01-11-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 dgvarner - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-01-10 09:08 PM


Dg~ wow.........very cool, loved the imagery with this dark poem........as for a title.......I kinda like " His darkwinged angel".........but that's just me.   -SEA
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2001-01-10 09:20 PM


good writing, dg....how about Devilplay?
Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2001-01-10 09:25 PM


DG~
I read it, cause it's YOU !
Good write.

I'd suggest -
'i've watched him sit in laughter'

That would intrigue me,
(as it did).
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
4 posted 2001-01-10 09:39 PM


first of all... this is a powerful piece of poetry.... it is well written, well phrased, has excellent imagery and a sense of emotion that pulls the reader in and immerses the reader in the author's feelings... VERY well done!!

as far as a title... how about this - "playing with the devil 'til you can't go home again"

just an idea....  

thanks for a great read!

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
5 posted 2001-01-11 12:32 PM


SEA..thanks   thats some scary imagery aye..LOL  i thought of 'darkwinged angel' too....maybe..     thanks for the suggestion!

thanks BALLADEER   ..'devilplay'...hmm..that may work..its nearer to what the poem is about... will think on that..

MARGE..you would not have read it with that title aye..     but because it was me...     thanks marge..thats too sweet  
i thought on your title suggestion also, before i posted..just seemed a long title..but will keep that one in mind..

DOREEN..really glad you enjoyed this!   thanks so much for all that good stuff you said!     i was thinking of a shorter version of your title suggestion..'playing with the devil'...?

*sigh*... alas..i'm still uncertain..but will keep all your title suggestions in mind     thanks a bunch!

hugs, g



[This message has been edited by dgvarner (edited 01-11-2001).]

SEA
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with you
6 posted 2001-01-11 12:43 PM


LOVE the title change, it fits very nice, I like it very much!   -SEA
Parker
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since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
7 posted 2001-01-11 01:00 AM


so who would want to go home after that...  
Nice write dg.... lucky devil loving guy..  

Parker

dgvarner
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since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
8 posted 2001-01-11 03:00 AM


thanks SEA   decided, just after i wrote that i was still uncertain about it! lol

PARKER..thats right, love..just submit...    dont kick and scream and fight..it just makes you too tired for other things...  

hugs, g

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

9 posted 2001-01-11 07:31 PM


well I don't have a title but I am getting chills from reading!

"Every man dies.
Not every man truly lives."
Braveheart

Kathleen


dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
10 posted 2001-01-12 09:14 AM


LOL...thanks for the chills IRISH..    glad you enjoyed!

btw..i've decided to keep this title i think..unless....someone comes up with a better one!  

hugs,g

Lady Lightning
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 422
Kentucky
11 posted 2001-01-13 10:39 PM


WOW, I don't have any suggestions for a title, but I loved reading this...Dark, Chilly, Scary, ...But oh so good... ~LL~

The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
12 posted 2001-01-13 10:58 PM


Loved this...that would have been my choice for a title too. So, Great Title Choice!

jwesley

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
13 posted 2001-01-13 11:06 PM


Oh WOW!!! liked this dark one...great read  
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



Pixydust
Junior Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 36

14 posted 2001-01-14 12:50 PM


hey girl... i actually like the title.  
nice to finally be a part of the click...heheeee
thanks for getting me on this site.  

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
15 posted 2001-01-14 02:16 AM


LL..lol..scary huh...    thanks a bunch for reading    glad you enjoyed!  

JWESLEY..thanks!  (and..great minds think alike..aye?   )

thanks TRACIE!  glad you stopped in  

PIXY..ha!  havent read these from me have you.. lol  
glad you enjoyed... and glad you joined us here..  

hugs, g



"oh baby baby, its a wild world..its hard to get by just upon a smile..." cat stevens

catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
16 posted 2001-01-14 10:21 PM


Oh, very dark, and fascinatingly written. Great poem!
Sandra

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
17 posted 2001-01-16 06:01 PM


thanks SANDRA    maybe i should have posted this one in dark passions...lol  

hugs, g

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