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Passions in Poetry

Life behind bars (an inmate's lament)

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Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


0 posted 01-10-2001 09:08 AM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Man what can I say about this piece...I guess I was influenced by prison documentaries or either hip-hop music or whatever.....I don't know if the moderators will accept this piece cause it has a little bit of explicit material on here....anyways, I hope y'll like the poem!


This piece, is for all you people who's free,
working, and making your money legally,
and this is also for the ones who's illegal,
and isn't where I am, in the bad life sequel
cause, they haven't been caught by the right people.
as, I wanna send a message to you
so, y'll won't end up like me
because, of the evil that men do.
Anyways, life sucks in here
and it's a nightmare,
knowing I'll spend the rest of life here
but, I deserve it cause, I've been convicted,
for hundreds of crimes known in the equator
as I'm a heartless soul,
who'll urinate in your elevator.
Anyways, like I said, life sucks behind bars
cause, there's no women and no cars,
no summertime cookouts in the backyard,
as prison is like that T.V. show "Oz"
where the guards like to act hard
and pick fights with you every night,
and inmates who try to mate you, rape you,
and if you refuse, they'll try to take your life,
which is why, I keep a stashed knife
cause, I love life
and I'm not ready to see my last night.
Anyways, I feel very lonely and sad,
as I 've ignored by mom and dad,
all my sisters and brothers,
and even my lover,
who's now going with my so-called best friend,
as she sent a letter last week and confirmed it,
as I was so upset that, I just burned it.
Anyways, whenever I feel my sexual fires ablaze,
I like to grab my stashed penthouse magazine,
and have mind sex with the girls of my dreams.
Shoot, ain't nothing wrong with that,
as I'm just being a man
cause, I ain't so desperate to have it
(administrative edit)
as I 'm beginning to wish,
that I wasn't so devilish,
that I was free,
and living life legally
but, don't y'll feel sorry for me
cause, noone forced me to live this life
as I'm rightfully paying the price,
for a living a crime-infested life
as, I hope that y'll get my message and live right
because freedom, is a big price, to sacrifice!




[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 01-10-2001).]
© Copyright 2001 Nate Dogg - All Rights Reserved
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


1 posted 01-10-2001 01:16 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Hey Passions, I hope that I didn't offend anybody or frightened you away from posting a reply....I mean I'm eager to see what some people think of it....and once again, I hope I didn't offend anyone...that's not my purpose...my intentions is to send a message so please, I repeat, don't take my words too literally, meaning the character description and how things are in prison cause, I made that all up just for the fun of it and for entertaining pleasures....but I am seroius about the message in the poem though and once again, I'm not trying to offend anyone and if I did, I'm very sorry. (smiles)

Peace,
      Nate Dogg
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


2 posted 01-10-2001 03:10 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Yes Nate you have described it so well...a life in prison...definately a place I don't want to go...James
seraphin
Senior Member
since 09-24-2000
Posts 997
Michigan


3 posted 01-10-2001 03:22 PM       View Profile for seraphin   Email seraphin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for seraphin

Nate,
Your'e describing a different way of life...you need to use the language most condusive to relaying these thoughts, or you've not done the job correctly. It is to make the reader feel, see, breathe what you are saying. Take them to that place, experience it, and return them home.
You've done a masterful job. This is really an incredible piece of work.
I guess I mean...I like it!  
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


4 posted 01-11-2001 12:17 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

breathes a sigh of relief (whew!)

Man, I wanna thank the two poets had enough courage to post your opinions....it really means a lot to me cause, I kinda feel like this poem is a little too raw for Passions to digest, that they'll just snub it despite the fact that I've read other poet's poem and posted a reply....oh yeah, thank to the moderator who editted my line....it's shows me that you were reading.....and thanks for keeping the poem on the board. And if any of you got an opinion whether it's good or bad, I wanna know so, that I can get a clearer idea of what Passions want to see from me cause, if you wanna see me at my best(a poem like this) then I'll be glad to do it but, if want me to tone it down, then I will...just let me know what y'll want cause I realize that my style may be too extreme and different for some....like Eminem said, "I don't know, it's just the way I am"
(smiles)

Peace,
      Nate Dogg

P.S. I confirm everything I said from above cause, it called keeping it real...I ain't gonna give you no bull...I just straight spit the facts, the truth, and my opinion whether some like it or not cause,
you can't please everyone plus, this is what being an artist is all about! (smiles)


Nathan
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


5 posted 01-11-2001 12:31 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Nate~ powerful poem you have here.......I hope more read this, especially younger kids.......a shot of reality now and then is healthy. (who is Eminem?) Great write   -SEA
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


6 posted 01-12-2001 11:38 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Thank you Sea for your lovely comments, I also hope that more read this too...I would imagine that's lots of people read it but don't wanna cause I've probaly disgusted or offended them in some way...anyways, I've apologized so what more can I do? I just won't stop being me or abandon my style for noone....anyways, Eminem aka slim shady, is the great white hope, the most popular white rapper on the face of this earth....I find it surprising that you haven't heard of him even if you don't listen to rap cause he's plastered all over tv, radio, and those music awards....anyways, thanks for reading and thanks for posting a reply on my board...it means a lot to me....now if those 15 to twenty(and counting) other poets returned the favor....I'll know what they think too.(smiles)

Nathan
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 06-17-2000
Posts 5525
missouri


7 posted 01-13-2001 02:17 AM       View Profile for Paula Finn   Email Paula Finn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paula Finn

Nathan...this is a very powerful imaginative write...what images you provoke...offended? Not me...you just write some black and white images here...
Melster
Member
since 12-09-2000
Posts 443
Brisbane, Qld, Australia


8 posted 01-13-2001 04:36 AM       View Profile for Melster   Email Melster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Melster's Home Page   View IP for Melster

Nate...  I don't usually post here, but I came in here for something different and by gees did I get it...  This is a very powerful peice and it proved my point that prison is a horrible place!  I hope that things are doing just fine for you and that you are happy again now that you are out of that place...  Eminem is a great guy, he sings about life, just the way it is...  Good luck and keep up the great work, though I probably won't see it much!!  Good Work!!

Melz!!

You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already...
Lady Lightning
Member
since 12-04-2000
Posts 429
Kentucky


9 posted 01-13-2001 06:38 AM       View Profile for Lady Lightning   Email Lady Lightning   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lady Lightning

WOW...what a peice you have penned here Nate...I have a very dear friend who has "been there , done that", and oh, the stories I have heard...You did this wonderfully and BTW I LOVE Eminem...He "Rocks"..hehe..  
Don't change a thing about you or your style, you've got it "all", I would say...
Hugs... ~LL~


The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost.  author unknown

[This message has been edited by Lady Lightning (edited 01-13-2001).]
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


10 posted 01-13-2001 02:28 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Man, I couldn't believe my eyes today when I saw that I had more responses.

Thank you Paula, I'm very glad that you liked it and wasn't offended.
Thank you Melster, ya know, you should visit these forums more, there's and abundance of talent...anyways thanks for your comments and I'm glad to see that you also like Eminem. (smiles)

Thank you Lady Lightning, I'm glad that you also like the poem as well as Eminem...and thanks for the compliment about my style...and nope I won't change a thing...I'm going to keep it real, life-like,
deep, powerful, emotional, top-notch, different, raw, intriguing, appealing, with no filler lines!

If I probaly post too much poems about humanity it's because, it's what I represent, the moral, mental and physical advancement of mankind...I care about all of you and people in general....black, white, purple, yellow..I don't care whta color you are cause, I have love for all!

Writing conscious/humanity/deep poetry is obviously what I do best but, I have poems about love, mother nature, holidays, happiness, poems of mystery(ghost fire) and poems of horror (dairy of a madman) and even a political one(Voting for the president) cause, I'm trying to be a well-rounded poet, a diverse poet, and a poem who goes against the grain of what the normality is...in other words, I wanna be different and shake-up the status quo(like Eminem).

My poem is a reflection of my life(keeping it real) cause in life, I'm as different as you can get meaning, I don't smoke or drink, got a clean crime record, I don't necessarily wear the hot clothes like all my young peers wear but, I still manage to keep myself looking fly and I'm not for organized religion,..if you asked what my religion is, I'm gonna tell you God cause organized religion divide humans instead of bringing them together!

So know y'll probaly understand me a little better and the funny thing about it is I'm an african-american and twenty-one years old(with a bright future ahead of me) and most people would think that people from my race can't be or think like this but they're wrong because I can and so do a lot of black poets and black people in general that I know.

Anyways, I think I better go cause I've probaly used up to much space.

Peace and one love, Passions!



Nathan
Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 09-30-2000
Posts 6029
lost in blue pages


11 posted 01-13-2001 02:53 PM       View Profile for Charisma   Email Charisma   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Charisma's Home Page   View IP for Charisma

what more can I say...than powerful words are spoken here, oh yeah I can imagine what you meant, since I have to listen to hiphop when my youngest sing and write a bit of that genre....different way to speak about feelings....but inner feelings are the same, and freedom is all we want.

Charisma




[This message has been edited by Charisma (edited 01-13-2001).]
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


12 posted 01-14-2001 12:08 AM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Thank you Charisma for your wonderful comments and you're right about the feelings and freedom being all we want...since I'm influenced by hip-hop, I try to write my rhymes and use the same rhyme patterns the way an emcee does....but even if I didn't have a similar rhymes pattern, my words, substance, and content alone is good enough for the underground rap artists who rhymes about positivity, elevating your mind, and deep and conscious things in general like "love has no color" or something like that...anyways I gotta go so thanks again Charisma and peace!!!

Nathan
dgvarner
Member Elite
since 05-13-2000
Posts 3621
High Springs, Florida


13 posted 01-14-2001 12:30 AM       View Profile for dgvarner   Email dgvarner   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dgvarner

nate..very interesting poem..i like that youre not afraid to be real in the eyes of possible criticism and judgement..

very real poem..

i hope more readers find this one..and read it thru

and amen on your comment that "love has no color"    good attitude..wish more people wore that one...!

hugs, g


"a love declared for days to come, is as good as none" -tracy chapman
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


14 posted 01-14-2001 02:59 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Thank you fallen rain, for your nice comments...I'm on my work break right now so I'll eventually read your poem when I get off  tonight....oh yeah and about the critcism, some can probaly say that's the poem's kinda vulgar and and has some explicit imagery or whatever....but sometimes the truth, ain't pretty and sometimes we try to avoid the truth especially when it's ugly...anyways, I gotta go and get something to eat cause I'm starving...peace!

Nathan
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


15 posted 01-27-2003 12:09 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

good message!
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