navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » yellow moon
Open Poetry #12
Post A Reply Post New Topic yellow moon Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597


0 posted 2001-01-09 11:12 PM


(thanks for the concrete idea Marge)


~
**oh my**
*yellowed moon*
in clear  night's sky
starts low 'n rises high
carries so many  a lie
from an ancient eye
*maybe to satisfy*
**a sigh**
~



© Copyright 2001 Krawdad - All Rights Reserved
Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
1 posted 2001-01-09 11:17 PM


I like this.  Nicely done.

Poeminister

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2001-01-09 11:21 PM



Oh my
Krawdad Pie
Like your moon up
in the brightly lit sky
How come when it's all
done - I still feel the
glow in the morn
of the sun ?

~*Marge*~

Capitally done.
And it's called sweet inspiration ~
Glad you caught it !



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2001-01-10 07:37 AM


Because the moon is actually lit by the sun, of course....

Krawdad... I like this - and I'll be watching for more of your work for sure... You've got a great outlook... Nice to have you here at Passions..

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
4 posted 2001-01-10 02:06 PM


Very nice format and wonderful writing
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
5 posted 2001-01-10 02:09 PM


I agree, nice format and a wonderful write!

Nathan

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

6 posted 2001-01-10 02:27 PM


Poeminister,Marge,Nan,Paula,Nate:
Thank you each for your nice comments.  As MARGE alludes to, dalliance in this medium compels one to do this sort of thing, and on-the-spot no less.  To deny it is to cut off one's hand!
NAN - Actually I wasn't thinking about the sun at all.  The "ancient eye" is indeed the ancient human eye, explaining the moon mystery in what we might think today to be a lie (mythology).  The good and the bad of minimalization is the opening to generalization and the lose of detail.  I'm discovering quickly that one of the benefits of PIP is the life of a poem after the poet sets it aside.  I had my doubts, but this place is OK.
MARGE - Thanks again for the "seed".

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2001-01-10 04:10 PM


You are quickly becoming a favorite read of mine---and have more questions about that "ancient eye"--does this correspond to the "eye of Horus"????

A lovely write--from one moon lover to another!

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2001-01-11 01:04 AM


A shape poem awesomely done!
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
9 posted 2001-01-11 01:10 AM


This is beautiful and beautifully done   -SEA
tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
10 posted 2001-01-11 03:45 AM


Oh I love this sweet little yellow moon...cute  
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2001-01-11 11:12 AM


Krawdad...you keep writing like this...and your poetry will breathe for a long, long time...

and then some...

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

12 posted 2001-01-11 10:52 PM


Serenity,VAS,SEA,Tracie66,Sunshine,
Thanks all for the read and comments.  I do appreciate it.
If the shaped pooem hasn't been an exercise at PIP, it ought to be.  This was a lot of fun to do, but was also a lot harder to get right than I would have guessed.  It's just a simple ball, right?

/:^)==
=#==

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
13 posted 2001-01-12 04:07 PM


wonderful....*sigh*...an so beautiful
love it.

Charisma

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

14 posted 2001-02-04 07:42 PM



This is a splendid write Krawdad and I too enjoyed the format in presentation
A lovely read...
~coco~

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

15 posted 2001-02-04 08:36 PM


Thanks *C* & *C* for the nice comments.  Great to have readers enjoy something as much as I enjoyed writing it.
It's also nice, with the new rules, that an older submission comes back because of a read and a comment (thanks for the demo, Coco).
Krawdad

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
16 posted 2001-02-04 09:36 PM


i like E    very nifty!

hugs, g


"maybe one day
we can turn and face our fears
maybe one day
we can reach out through our tears..."
-a grant

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
17 posted 2001-02-04 09:45 PM


Very nice would be putting it mildly.  This was wonderful and who better to plant a seed of Luna than our Margie girl.  Loved the write and the thoughts that come with it.

If you find yourself stranded in a storm
...then reach for my hand and we will play in the puddles together

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

18 posted 2001-02-05 02:30 AM


dg & Mark,

Thank you both,
Glad you liked the moon.

Kraw'

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » yellow moon

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary