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Open Poetry #12
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2001-01-09 11:11 PM


Just when I think I'm safe,
There you are,
Picking me apart line by line.
Just when I think I've hidden my honesty,
There it is,
Bleeding out of every letter.
So...
Tonight,
When my heart seems to ripping apart,
While I'm deciding what love really is,
And how far the boundaries reach,
I'm nearly in tears,
Because I don't like to be so out of control.
Careful..
Lest I put my veils and laces back on,
To continue my dance of self denial,
And random confusions.
Don't worry..
You didn't cause this at all,
It was all my own undoing,
When I began to smile at people again,
And let them in,
Is when I began to question my motives,
And myself.
So please..
Don't leave yet.
At least I know if I take cover again,
You'll be there,
Trapping me back into honesty,
Because I can't seem to help myself.


Can I be your willful breeze,
Come to touch,
Your heart to ease?


© Copyright 2001 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
1 posted 2001-01-10 02:52 AM


Heya Jenn,

Thought I'd just stop in and say Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Martin Luther King Jr Day.  *grins*  Sorry I haven't been online much.  My computer is temporarily disconnected for the holidays.  

On the poetry level, I think you did a great job with realism and vividness.  And, line nine, to be or not to be...

*grins*

Love ya!

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

2 posted 2001-01-10 01:19 PM


TEMPTRESS, this is incredible expression penned here...
I sooooooo much enjoyed the read and hmmmmmmm were you in my headspace yesterday...
Hugs2U
coco

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
3 posted 2001-01-10 03:36 PM


Masked One,
Well, hello there. I was beginning to think you had dissappeared again. Its certainly good to see you.  I hope all of your holidays were great too.  Thanks for reading and commenting on this poem. I'm glad you enjoyed it! It means a lot to me to have you still reading them.  


Coco,
It certainly is great to be thought about. Thanks for reading. It is an honor. I'm glad you enjoyed it!  


Can I be your willful breeze,
Come to touch,
Your heart to ease?


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 2001-01-10 04:01 PM


Jenn, you handled this subject in a very human and powerful way....YES!
PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
5 posted 2001-01-10 04:20 PM


I really like reading this. I especially liked...
"Because I don't like to be so out of control.
Careful..
Lest I put my veils and laces back on,
To continue my dance of self denial,
And random confusions."

Cool images.

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