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Open Poetry #12
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Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...

0 posted 2001-01-09 02:25 PM



Email from an ex last night...dredging up some old feelings...(delete, delete,
delete) I did not respond...instead a face-lift of some old dark thoughts...

Serpent in my mind...

Your eyes drew me
warm and alive
with wooly mischief
captivatingly dark
with the concealment
of buried consequences
for a moment
they reflected me
and in that moment
I was foolishly drawn
by a free spirit
drifting momentarily
through my life
pausing long enough
to alter everything I knew
a wily serpent
hissing your charms
in my ear
tempting me
to taste of you
seducing me
with tongue flickers
I once breathed your name
my hallucinations
intricated with your face
you were everything
and I...your addict
stripped of everything
My soul
My dignity
and finally...my mind
used up
insipid imagery
within a cracked mirror
you slithered away
with my sanity
tiny shards of me
embedded in your retreating belly...




I love the time
and in between
the calm inside me
in the space
where I can breathe...

Sarah McLachlan

© Copyright 2001 Denise Blackwell - All Rights Reserved
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
1 posted 2001-01-09 02:52 PM


Yesssssssss......
I can't begin to tell you how perfectly timed this one is, and you expressed some thoughts that I couldn't find words for!!
What a great write, Breathe....


Write on!
-<--<--{(@


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2001-01-09 04:20 PM


No wonder your name suits you...for you will breathe life into many a soul 'round here...
tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
3 posted 2001-01-10 05:19 AM


through my past and now my knowledge, I will gain....and once again where I wiltered I will shine

This is the last lines I wrote in a poem about the same subject

Sweetie I know what you're going through and it is very dark and lonely but there is a light believe me. You have penned this emotion extremely well...well penned

~HUGS~
Tracie~
< !signature-->

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe






[This message has been edited by tracie66 (edited 01-10-2001).]

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
4 posted 2001-01-10 10:17 AM


(APPLAUDS) WOW!!!! You go girl!! This is a great write, loved the images in it. Well done  
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2001-01-10 03:06 PM


I can feel it...James
Loki
New Member
since 2001-01-10
Posts 4

6 posted 2001-01-10 03:13 PM


Very powerful, Edgy as an Alanis Morisette song but more articulate; nery nice.
Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

7 posted 2001-01-10 03:27 PM


Breathe~
This is great!
Love the snake thread.  Neat word choices, allusions and illusions.  (I might be reading in a couple you didn't intend, but that's ok.)

/:^)==
=#==

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