»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #11
»
Memories, Way Out Poems From the First Ten Opens Yuh!!!!! (with permission)
»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #11
»
Memories, Way Out Poems From the First Ten Opens Yuh!!!!! (with permission)
| Open Poetry #11 |
|
Memories, Way Out Poems From the First Ten Opens Yuh!!!!! (with permission) |
|
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) 
|
Today’s Opposite Day Today’s opposite day Don’t say what you mean Eat all the fat And spit out the lean Today’s opposite day Don’t hurt your brain It’s a little confusing So let me explain Today’s opposite day I think of it a lot If you say that it is Then maybe it’s not Today is the day To say no and to say yes But if somebody sneezes Don’t say God bless Today’s opposite day I like you a lot Now I can say that Without saying Not! Today’s opposite day Is your epidermis showing? Are you still just a kid Who’s oppositely growing For the last time I’ll say It’s opposite day It’s opposite day! (Hooray) Seeing how Whatever I see Becomes a Tootsie Roll to me I must step back from the crowd And reassess my life My wife declares my obsession I step back from her and cry Tootsie Roll how I love Your chocolatey chew Tootsie Roll I think I'm in love with you Whatever it is I think I see Becomes an irrational chain of events Or maybe a tootsie roll to me I said to Mister Owl as he snapped a groovy beat It’s a gas, man Tootsie Rolls are all I want to eat Mister Owl said to me brother don’t you wag Your Tootsie Roll fix is just a quarter a bag Mister Owl if you have an answer I'll think your tops How many licks to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop Mister Owl said well just let me see He peeled off the wrapper and said 1…2…3 But officer he looked like a Tootsie Roll to me I’m Afraid of Page 2 I have a bad fear Of a thing called "page 2" You see by tomorrow My book report's due Page one wasn't helpful As I hoped it would be It stated his name That he died tragically This book is real long I cannot read it all I looked for the vid' All day at the mall So I spent my good time In "research" I say If I get a bad grade I can blame it away Sure, I'd get mad At this guy and his life The author, the editor Each one and their wife They could've been plain You know like ole Quakers Instead they grew up To be trouble makers I've wasted this time At nought but complaining I can't play outside Durn if it's raining I turned on the 'puter I flicked on the power I played Doom and Quake Killed baddies for hours As my ammo ran out I thought of the net I turned on IE Without a regret I typed in his name I did it with glee Nine thousand responses All waiting for me I played games about him All of it streaming I was learning this stuff I must've been dreaming Did you know he was on A high dollar bill I'll earn one weekly I'll work hard. I will. I finished my bio The book I reviewed Least from page one To the half of page two In class the next day The kids were all quaking The one at the stage Was shivering, shaking It was my turn now I stood up with glee And said to my teacher "I read 'til page three!" I opened my mouth My hand to the air I stated his name That he died in despair I regaled them of stories Of what he lived for! This great guy of mine He died in the war! With patriotism My classmates were humming The kids who had band A march beat were drumming My classmates all cheered And it wasn't a dream My teacher stood up "Let's all have ice cream!" THE END Toader Down the middlemost middle the road Hops Harriet the hideous toad She gave up her cushy ole pad She's half 'cross the street, she's glad Squished by a heavy duty loader A game for frogs; nobody toader Un-pack-man He does the unpacking himself Loads the closets; fills the shelf He's in search of Miss. Un-Pack-Man His Web friend is BRB man. Unpackman eats his opressors Then he unpacks the triple dressers Face Invaders Zit Zit Zit Zit Why won't they ever quit Kill them but they'll be back again Zit Zit Zit Zit How can you ever win? Scent-o-Weed The mushrooms keep changing hues I shoot them down as I choose But here comes the scent-o-weed One sniff baby's all I need The scent-o-weed it has got me Look how much a quarter's bought me Wrong! Back and forth, back and forth We like to shout, "Hey you're wrong!" Back and forth, back and forth We can't keep this up for long Wrong's where it started indeed Two paddles are what we need! Darling Be Mine…Yes…Until…the End of Time (hit it boys) When nothing but a moonbeam Is playing in your eyes It’s a feature presentation When there is a chance To hold you in my arms love I take it without hesitation With you the poet in me wakes dear And I become William Shakespeare To be or not to be It’s all up to youuuuu I was given three wishes by a genie I wished: you, mittens, and a beanie Who do you keep warm and out of harm? Me! So I gave the rest to the Salvation Army! You are my sweet surrender I’ll play a tune on my Fender I play all my music just for you Do de do de do de dooooooooo I like being called your sweet heart Although skittles are my fave One thing I ask of you love Don’t go piddle on my grave There’s long time before I’m dead yet I sometimes still make My bed wet Those were two quick And funny hehe Potty jokes see? When I gaze the Pools of your eyes Make me hafta pee Love, I was sliding Down a rainbow And fell into a pot The gold dust flew All around me And you are what I got The complete multivitamins Everything from A to Zinc The former is quite good for skin The latter helps fight foot stink You ever think that you just might Get it all from a Flintstone pill Bitin’ Bam-Bam’s biggish body Gives me a guilty childlike thrill I’m hopped up on circus mates I’m not proud, I use generic They taste so good like candy yes I’ll admit through my hysterics What is wrong with kids today I can see through my own eyes For tikes under age of four I don’t think Mom realized Only take one half of Wilma That’s two fourths of lovely Dino One whole Flinstone er “candy” Will just craze your bambino So in conclusion there’s no sin Just read the label covers Chew your Flintstones forty times You health nuts and candy lovers The Gloves Are Off…for the poetic joust (wayout style) Flowers grace her ever so closely Shades of violet and vermilion How much would I pay to have her Well I guess at least a million Odes are sung with honeydew swollen From the breasts of my beloved And I would never kill her any way Least not if my hands weren’t gloved Could be she’s infinity’s song And we’re minutes dying by her hand And seconds are what her mother makes When we want our chicken tasting bland Sadly I had to remove my glove And slap the cheek of another Who I thought would try to win her heart But twas only her eldest brother She’s the chassis of a 69 ‘stang And the motor of a GTO She listens to OMD with me ELO, CCR, AND, BTO I do say “She’s real fine my 409” ‘Though just 1 thing of 2% Windex Is 3 times more effective then be 4 She has all 52 cards found in decks Ode to a commode that she has scrubbed Ode to bubbliness of her demeanor "Dow bathroom cleaner has scrubbing bubbles" I caress it when long since I’ve seen her Beauty is in the eye of the beholder When lust fills your eye gouge it out So you can be the holder of your eyes In which her beauty there is no doubt One day crestfallen I read the note Scratching the tattoo on my behind It said dear sir that tattoo should read You are crazy and out of your mind Crazy, but that is what it says And no she’s not seen my bottom All the memories of my Guiniviere Out of my mind but I still got ‘em Placebo Flo could make no dough She tried the best she could But Placebo Flo I think you know Did nothing that she should She tried to work she really tried Her fingers to the nub For all her sweat she softly sighed Her boss: “you’re fired bub” Placebo Flo said, “hey I know” A man could make my way But Placebo Flo could not sew What would a husband say? The durndest truth one night she thought I am Placebo Flo! The things that I just do not got I need a mighty beau Placebo Flo her heart of woe She had a heart attack Placebo Flo felt sudden glow From Doctor Prozac Jack An angel she thought there she saw It was Doc Prozac Jack In one year they were wed by law Cuz opposites attract Placebo Flo she wed her beau And nothing else she did But Prozac Jack would never know Why she could ne’er have a kid THE END!!!! Warning: tragic ending reader beware Placebo Flo and Prozac Jack Adopted Serial Steve He did stab them both in the back And with their meds he did leave To All the Passions Leading Ladies I am stereotyped as being a little weird I’m typecast in the play though I never feared Sometimes I get the sniffles then a nose- bleed For I’ll never muster the sweet romantic lead I’ll never send Ingrid White Dove off in a plane I’m not Humphrey Wayoutwalt I play too insane I could never say “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn” I’m not Clarke Wayoutwalt I haven’t got the gams I could never be Super Wayoutwalt. Oh Yuh! If Lois Poet Devine called for help I’d shrug and just say “Huh?” If Marilyn Lost Dreamer was in my train car tonight I’d prolly stay dressed as a girl and that’s not thinkin right Seven brides for seven Wayoutwalts you believe If they were all Doris Nan you’d not here me grieve And for all the leading ladies I somehow have missed Line up after Balladeer if you’re waitin to be kissed There is a big black hole opening up in my bedroom wall. My closet door cannot keep me from a bottomless fall. There goes my dog and, oh great, there goes my cat. Teacher won’t believe where my homework is at. This thing happened to my closest friend Lloyd. That poor guy got sucked into a cosmic void. And not a soul has seen him since that day. I think that I'd like to keep it that way! All of those scary stories must be true. If mom was here what would she do? She’d say, “That’s d'way it goes.” She'd at least scratch my nose. As this poem is getting dumb. Fingers are becoming numb. No longer will I hold on. Miss me soon I'm gone. Oh noooooooooo! Gotta gooooo. (Sigh) Bye [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 01-08-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
peanut9244 New Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 3 |
A little on the long side but it is good. |
||
|
Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
 One of the first names I saw waaaaaay back when Open 1 was around...thanks for the refresher - you're one of my fav's! |
||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
A little on the WAYOUTWALT side - and terribly terrific ! 'A little weird?' ... now who said that ??? A little ? LOL ! You're our resident Walty and we LOVE YA' ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
peanut shaddap and get back in the gallery nononon eheheh yuh very long and there is so much more sniff that sadly i had to leave out yuh satiate heheh i remember yuh too hehe Marge thanky resident sunny gal |
||
|
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
AND ... I realized I wasn't finished reading - Now that you've changed the format - I especially enjoyed the last one even more ! ~*Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Walty, it was wayout reading your wonderful collection here  Today's Opposite Day is my fav... well done my friend Maree I need a lullaby a kiss goodnight Angel sweet love of my life Oh, I need this ~Natalie Merchant~ |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Well, I remember almost all of these Walt ... so that must make me a FAN! And that I am, you always make me smile, and then when I least expect it, surprise me with something very sweet. It's always great to read you Walt! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
marge hehe yuh i have had that poem for long time now and never tried it that way! thanky DA are you tellin the truth or is it opposite day!!! kit thanky |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
WOW strikes again! |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
hehe yuh |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #11
»
Memories, Way Out Poems From the First Ten Opens Yuh!!!!! (with permission)
